Wish I Would Have Left Earlier

by EmptyInside 20 Replies latest jw friends

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  EmptyInside

  I know everyone's situation is different. And no matter what age one is when they finally say enough of the religion,it's difficult.

  But,from what I have observed among my friends,it appears that those who left in their teens/early 20's fare a bit better.

  My two close friends who were disfellowshipped in their teens/early twenties,seemed to do fairly well with the transition. Of course,I know they went through a great deal of pain to get where they are today. I guess what I mean to say is that they had a head start.

  And I think another factor is that,they were more likely to have non-Witness friends during their school years.

  I just know that I have a long road ahead of me. And I have made great progress,but I still hit roadblocks. I'm still learning about myself and trying to find my authentic self. It's much harder when you were born into the religion.

  Plus,leaving later,I'm way behind as far as relationships and education. It can be overwhelming. Looking back,I had moments where I wanted to leave when I was in my teens and 20's but,I was too afraid. I know there is no use regretting the past.

  But,I just wish I was more ahead in the game,so to speak.
• 

  leavingwt

  I hear you.

  Don't look back, except to remember the good times. Keep your chin up and look forward. It will not be easy, but any crash you can walk away from is a successful landing, my friend. Anyone who leaves will bear some scars.

  Hang in there.
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  TotallyADD

  Been there doing it now. I agree with leavingwt, don't look back. You can not change the past. But you can change the future for good or bad. I have found to many times it is not easy but is worth all your energy in doing so. Keep moving forward. If you fall pick yourself up and continue to move forward. That is all any of us can do. Wish you well and truly enjoy and adventure in time it will get better. Totally ADD
• 

  EmptyInside

  Thank you both for your encouraging words.
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  jamiebowers

  Sweetie, you're a lovely young woman; beautiful, funny, smart and sweet. You are going to do just fine out in the world, because you have experience and maturity in your 30's that your friends didn't have in their 20's when they left the cult.
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  serenitynow!

  Even though you didn't leave earlier, you're still better off than those poor SOBs who go to their graves still believing the lie, I wish I woke before my mid-30s, but what can you do? Just move forward, and enjoy the time you have left.
• 

  Scott77

  EmptyInside

  I felt very mad and upset after reading your post. The pain of loss you mention was very touching to me. I feel sorry for you. I did face a hard time too after exiting. Iam feeling much better and improved right now. Had the Watchtower been a true God's organisation as it claims to be, there would never been any pain of this magnitude affecting individuals who simply exercise their right to choose a lifestyle of their own liking. Please, bear up there. We are with you. Think positively not of what the world can do you but what you can do for it.

  Scott77
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  VampireDCLXV

  As Jamie said, you're lovely, intelligent, witty and sweet. Anything that we have spent our lives at previously is just water under the bridge and gone forever. There's no fixing the past. We can only try to work out a better future for ourselves with what time we have left. We're staring down the second half of our lives here. Let's not waste any more time looking back at what might have been. Cheers to you for at least waking up to what's real way before retirement age. Take care of you...

  V665
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  EmptyInside

  Jamie-Thanks for the vote of confidence.

  serenitynow-You're right we can only move forward.

  Scott77-Thank you,but I hope this didn't come across as a "woe is me thread". It was more of an observation. And yes,I wish I was more ahead of the game,but things are looking up and getting better.

  Vamp-You're right,it's the present and future that is important now. But,at least,we can learn from our past,too.
• 

  Broken Promises

  As a born-in who finally woke up around the same time as you, I can relate. I do wonder what would have happened if I'd left much earlier, but who's to say what might have happened? Maybe I wouldn't have had the maturity to resist well-meaning friends and relatives trying to pull me back into the cult?

  Regardless, I just try to be appreciative for the fact that I did leave, regardless of when.

  And I'm happy for you that you did too.