Thank you Broken Promises. I'm happy for you too.
Wish I Would Have Left Earlier
by EmptyInside 20 Replies latest jw friends
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blondie
It used to bother me greatly that my father was a pedophile and my mother a drunk. They had stolen my childhood; even in the new system God could not give me back my childhood by living it over or erasing my memories and dropping in fake ones.
I left the WTS quite late but I learned from the other abuse in my life that I could put it behind me, heal, and building a healthy life, and I have. It was with the help of people with like experiences that I learned how and help from a therapist.
Blondie
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Quandry
Oh, boy....we all wish we'd left sooner, no matter how old we are! Me? I left in my early fifties. I am now 59 and in college, and since I still work full time I have one year and a half at least to go...but....I have made it my goal. I will have my degree, if I die the day after I get it!
Yes, I wish I had over thirty years back. And the comment about finding out who your authentic self is? You are very perceptive! I don't really know who the hell I am because for those thirty years plus, I was someone who studied WT literature to find out what my opinions were on everything.
When I first left, everything was bewildering...I feel like I should go back to disco music and start over...hey I really love disco music...
Just make sure that every step you take moves you forward, not back. Don't dwell on the past, and let the organization take one more minute of your life. Try different things or subjects in school until you find something that interests you.
You can do it!
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EmptyInside
Blondie-Well,I haven't had to deal with half of all that you have gone through,and you're one of the posters here I greatly admire.
Quandry-Thanks for sharing your experience. I'm happy for you for continuing with your education.
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oompa
ditto emptyinside....and i hate that empty feeling too btw...i sooooooooo wish i had walked away in 1995 when the 1914 generation thingy unraveled and they took away the hope of NEVER growing old!!!! i had doubted for years...but as a born in with small kids...and a diehard jw wife...i kept toughing it out...............soooooooo stupid of me!!!!
there is no way to replace life long friends....those i actually grew up with....but you CAN make new good and real friends....but it can be a challenge....i suggest meetup.com..........not a dating site btw...............good luck....oompa....damm i love saying good luck!....and lots of good cuss words too!
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EmptyInside
Yes,ditto back to you oompa and good luck!
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White Dove
I was 37 when I attended my last meeting.
I tried leaving sooner in 2001-2002 but family always had to interfere with their guilt trips.
Finally, had to leave the state and become unreachable, except by e-mail, to live the life I wanted.
Thing is that even then, I didn't leave right away.
Still trying to do the right thing.
Had my fill in '05 and never looked back.
Am living a good life right now without mental strain and craziness.
Life's good, even if you get out "late."
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EmptyInside
Hi White Dove,
Well,I'm glad you're happy now.
Best.
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fortis et liber
I can relate to all that you are feeling. I too was a born-in, left at age 27 and have many, many times wondered 'what if'? But, as the other posters have stated, it doesn't really do much productive good to dwell on it so, I too try my hardest to not get mired in the past but stay hopeful and positive about the future.
With hindsight (and the current knowledge and strength you posses) it's easy to berate ourselves for the things we could have done better like leaving sooner but, when you know better, you do better, right? Celebrate the life that we have now, relish every single day of freedom that we can enjoy, we are so much, much more fortunate than those we left behind.
~ Fortis
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White Dove
EI,
Very happy! I completely relate to the getting out late thing.
I, too, had that regret.
Thing is that if it was sooner, I'd have gotten sucked right back in.
Maybe, just maybe we all get out at the right time for US.
It's highly individualized, I think.
Any sooner and it's not the right time.