How To Leave Jehovah's Witnesses Easily and Painlessly

by Daniel Metz 62 Replies latest jw friends

  • White Dove
    White Dove

    LOL Steve!

    My exit would have been painless and joyful if not for caring sooo much about serving JH.

    I lived 3,000 miles away from any family and friends.

    I had it made! Never knew how good I had it for leaving cold turkey and not suffering any consequences.

    I didn't leave for the same reasons as anyone on here.

    I left claw marks on the walls trying to stay in.

    Maybe my exit was like a person newly df'd but desperately wanted to stay and be okay with everyone.

    That feeling sure didn't last long, though.

    A week at most.

  • Daniel Metz
    Daniel Metz

    There is another reference to rebaptism that prompted my posting of my muti-step method of leaving (notice the part in bold):
    *** w62 6/1 p. 332 Why Be Baptized? *** REBAPTISM NECESSARY? 11 Due to certain circumstances at the time when they got baptized or due to subsequent developments, some have doubts about the validity of their past dedication and baptism,
     and they wonder if they should be rebaptized. They may have been baptized at an early age or while they were very immature in the truth, or after baptism they became inactive in 
    the ministry for a time. At the baptism ceremony a talk on baptism is given to make clear what is involved in the matter of dedication and baptism. If one later has some doubts about 
    the validity of his dedication, he should ask himself whether he understood that water baptism symbolized a dedication to do Jehovah’s will and whether he had actually made 
    a dedication to do Jehovah’s will prior to baptism, even though his knowledge of the truth was limited at that time and he may have been gaining accurate knowledge by a Bible 
    study for only a short time. Were the questions at the end of the ceremony answered in the affirmative and with a basic understanding of the significance thereof? 12 Naturally all should have grown in appreciation of their dedication since symbolizing it by water immersion. Certainly we did not appreciate it fully when we made it, or as fully 
    as we do now. But this does not necessarily mean that we should be rebaptized, even though our immaturity might have later caused a temporary lapse in fulfilling our ministerial
     responsibilities. But if one submitted to baptism mainly because of emotional factors and without proper understanding, or in order to please one’s parents or others, and if this 
    baptism did not symbolize a prior dedication to do Jehovah’s will, it would be proper to be baptized again. Dedication must come before baptism and not afterward. 
    Here is the extract from the Shepherd the Flock book, p. 75, chapter 5. It shows me that rebaptism is still considered justifiable in the above mentioned case of a baptism made without any valid dedication:

    Was a Wrongdoer's Baptism Valid?  46. When dealing with wrongdoers, the elders should not raise questions about the validity of the individual's baptism. 
    If the individual raises the issue, the elders may refer him to the February 15, 2010, Watchtower, page 22. 
    Further information on rebaptism can be found in the February 1964, Watchtower, pages 123-126, and the March 1, 1960, Watchtower, pages 159-160. 
    Rebaptism is a personal matter.
    For completeness, here is the next paragraph, which refers to those who have committed a disfellowshipping offense. Notice at the end that rebaptism may still be accepted,
    even after judicial action.
    47. At times a wrongdoer will claim that his baptism is not valid and that he is not accountable to a judicial committee because he secretly engaged in 
    wrongdoing shortly before he was baptized. If the elders had been aware of his serious wrongdoing committed just before baptism, likely they would not have 
    approved him for baptism. However, this does not mean that he did not make a valid dedication. Some individuals make a dedication long before 
    the baptism; others have made a dedication shortly before. The elders are not in a position to read the heart or to know for a certainty how Jehovah viewed 
    the person at the time he was baptized. If the elders learn that a baptized individual secretly engaged in serious wrongdoing while he was an unbaptized 
    publisher but the wrongdoing ceased before baptism, they should give counsel and encouragement. A judicial committee should not be formed for prebaptism 
    wrongdoing. (1 Cor. 6:9-11) However, if the person resumed serious wrongdoing after baptism, the elders would generally deal with him on the basis of what he 
     has professed to be, a dedicated and baptized Christian, and would meet with him judicially. Thereafter, if he feels he should get rebaptized, 
    that would be a personal decision. However, a person should not get rebaptized simply because he gains an improved understanding or appreciation of the truth 
    or some Scriptural doctrine.--Prov.4:18. 
  • wobble
    wobble

    Diamondiiz asked you if you were a believing J.W Daniel, are you?

    Whatever you believe you are welcome here, but a small Biog. of yourself may help us relate to you better.

    Hello ? Hello ? Daniel ?

  • Daniel Metz
    Daniel Metz

    I have been very busy recently so I don't check this blog every day.

    I was an elder in the past (2000-2002) but am no longer such. In 2002, I got very depressed because I had supported a decision of a fellow elder that caused much disturbance in the congregation and concluded that I had not only made a wrong decision, but failed Jehovah personally. I began reading all the apostate sites I could find. In 2010, I had another bout of depression when I didn't understand why it seemed that Jehovah had not blessed my move to the Ukraine to serve him where the need is greater. I read the latest in apostate sites, including this one.

    Then I got out of my depression and my faith in Jehovah's Witnesses and its Governing Body is stronger than ever before. In 2010, I realized that there are a number of persons who have been Witnesses for a long time who do not obey Jehovah in their private lives, as I have always striven to do. I realized also, from the fact that the Shepherd the Flock of God was online before my father, an elder in Canada, brought it home (where I saw it when he put it on the table). A quick Google search confirmed that to me. Reading also who put it online also convinced me that there are a number of elders around the world who are living double lives in the area of their beliefs. They don't believe that Jesus is directing the decisions of the Governing Body and the history of Jehovah's Witnesses in general.

    I realize that those who have positions of responsibility but who don't believe are afraid of being disfellowshipped or of disassociating themselves. I feel sorry for them. It must be very hard for them to live such a double life. I know that Jehovah doesn't want them to stay if they don't believe, neither does Jesus, and, I think, neither does the Governing Body. From that point of view, the statements of recent Watchtowers is very clear to me. The Governing Body is adressing all who read our magazines, including what I call "closet apostates" and are inciting them to leave as soon as possible, so the congregations will be healthier.

    I have also had blank stares or strange answers when I ask some Witnesses: "Did you dedicate yourself to Jehovah before getting baptized?" The ones who do not say a clear "Yes" do not surprise me, because they are always rather excentric. They became Witnesses by cheating on the entrance requirements, and it is no wonder that they don't speak like the rest of us, who did dedicate our lives to Jehovah before baptism.

    That's why I thought that this method, which avoids disfellowshipping and disassociation, would be helpful. It will help those who don't like our religion leave as soon as possible, without fear and without pain. I know that besides those who have left Jehovah's Witnesses, this forum has posts by persons who are still in the organization but don't believe but are afraid to leave (the so-called "conscious class").

    I wrote this because I believe that Jehovah would like them to leave as soon as possible and that he would agree for me to write what I did. It will accelerate the process that he has initiated in separating the "fine" fish from the "unsuitable" ones, both of whom are in the "dragnet" of the worldwide congregation of Jehovah's Witnesses (Matthew 13:47, 48).

    After much prayer and meditation, I made my conscientious decision to post here, and did.

  • wobble
    wobble

    Dear Daniel,

    Thank you for your frank reply, we now know where you stand ,and your motive for posting what you did. anything that may help anyone leave the WT/JW is appreciated on this site.

    I was very similar to you, I made my dedication, and subsequent baptism way back in 1962, to Almighty God, not an organization.

    To get you to examine your religion, its true history, and its teachings with an open mind I fear may be difficult, if not impossible. If you ever feel that you are not happy about the religion in any way, then why not discuss it with us on here ?

    Also why not enter debates on various threads here ? We do not get the perspective of an active JW very often on here, just XJW's.

    I know that the WT cautions against discussing things with people like us, but if what you have is the truth, what is there to fear ?

    Lies are easily defeated by the truth, truth stands up to any scrutiny.

  • cantleave
    cantleave

    Daniel, thanks for your blog.

  • Intel
    Intel

    To Daniel and others:

    There is no "Easy" exit or "Painless" exit if you have family, hardcore Witnesses into the cult. Leaving is seldom easy or painless.

    Besides that, we try so hard to avoid pain. The last couple of days (I am no longer a Witness for 9 days now....going, going, going) I realized that this whole idea of "no pain" was ingrained into our little witnesses brain (paradise, not even pooping will be painful) and is not necessary in order to enjoy life. Pain and Joy go hand in hand. Why avoid one and only seek the other???

    I did this process "cold turkey" - totally painful (my mother and sisters writing me emails that I don't even want to repeat here because of the negativity in them!!!! and the emotional blackmailing has been very strong - getting emails from Bethelites - former "colleagues" from all over the world....wow....some of them didn't write me FOR YEARS....and are now "concerned" and "convinced that I still love Jehovah" that I am "lost and derailed by the red guy".....I don't even believe in the devil (WHAT A RELIEF!!!! THIS alone is worth it....Atheism is good).

    Yep. Cold Turkey was the way to go out in blazing glory!!!!!

  • Daniel Metz
    Daniel Metz

    I am happy with my religion.

    I have several ideas for improvements to it and wrote a letter to the Canadian Branch (my former branch) so that these can be considered, and some or all of them referred to the Governing Body. I have visited Bethel here in Korea and spoken to two members of the Service Desk to make some suggestions on improving the quality of the teaching at the assemblies and conventions, to bring it up to the standard of the Korean assemblies and conventions, which I have also attended. They asked me to put it all in writing but I haven't had time to do it yet.

    I am encouraged how our faith has advanced over the years as the Governing Body listens to suggestions from the publishers, in letters received by the Writing Correspondence Desk. I know personally an elder in Montreal, who regularly writes the Governing Body and who made the suggestion to change the term "presiding overseer" to "coordinator of the body of elders" (he wrote in French, so the term he came up with was "coordinateur", which shows me that they took his suggestion into account, as well as possibly others who had the same idea and wrote in), to overcome the false impression that this brother was a sort of "chief elder", as the "congregation servant" of times past was. It took about three years, but the Governing Body liked the idea and the change was implemented. I see the hand of Jesus Christ in that improvement.

    Since I have read basically all the various points of view of those who have left Jehovah's Witnesses, I don't need to debate them with anyone. Jesus said that some of his servants would say "the master is delaying" (and then, likely, "the master isn't coming with his promised reward in my lifetime, or maybe ever; he probably lied to all of us, so why bother serving him anymore? I'll live my life the way I please, choosing for myself what is good and bad, and leave the 'Borg' to the fools who still believe in the master's empty promises"), while others would say "you are an exacting man, asking us to work for you while you are away, while you get all the benefits of our work". He also said that the seed of the word would fall on four kinds of soil, but only one would produce and bear fruit. The others would not.

    I have "put my hand to the plow and am not looking back" because I want to be "well suited for the Kingdom of God".

    I examined the history of Jehovah's Witnesses before I got baptized. My grandmother Metz in France got baptized in 1922, and, as far as I can tell, was faithful to Jehovah all her life and is now in heaven next to her Lord and mine, and before her God and mine. My grandparents Ehm also became Witnesses in Austria and Germany (before their marriage in 1925) in the 1920s. For that reason, my dad had in our home library several of Brother Russell's and many of Brother Rutherford's books, where I learned all about the previous chronology (1799, 1874,1878,1881). I lived through the 1975 crisis, and both of my parents told me beforehand that it was not definite that Armageddon would be coming that year, even though one of our elders, Brother Widawski, was certain of it and taught so from the platform.

    It took a period of three years of doubt regarding the truth of the religion that I was brought up in to conclude that Jehovah personally helped me to see how logical, and intellectually and emotionally satisfying it was, and, at least for me, still is.

    I know that the "fish" in the "dragnet" have to be separated. So does the Governing Body. By telling everyone, in the July 15 2011 Public Edition Watchtower, not to read apostate writings, they know that the faithful will not do it and that those who are doing it in secret will do it even more, find reasons to justify their loss of faith in Jehovah, Jesus and the organization, and finally leave.

    At least that's what I think is their strategy.

    Rather than want to keep people against their will or pressure them to return against their will by sticking firm with the Bible's clear teaching on disfellowshipping (Jesus, Paul and John all three described it), the Governing Body wants only completely honest publishers, those who have faith in the "good news", as they do. The present members of the Governing Body are all new now. Not a single one of them was a member in 1975, now that Brother Barr has completed his earthly course. Maybe some of them were very disappointed when the end didn't come in 1975, but they didn't lose faith that Jehovah is leading his people through Christ and evidently concluded, as I did, that the three main periods of sifting in our history (1914-1918, 1925 and 1975) were Jehovah's will, to separate the "fine" fish from the "unsuitable".

    I find it interesting that despite all the writings of Raymond Franz and others, which have led so many to leave my faith, the European Court was not convinced by any one of the arguments presented by Russia to justify banning Jehovah's Witnesses in Moscow. Whether blood transfusions, disfellowshipping, breaking up families because holidays are no longer celebrated, abuse of children by not letting them have enough play time, none of these arguments were sufficient to sway the judges that Jehovah's Witnesses are not a legitimate religion.

    The judges recognized that different religious views can cause division in families, but that that is the price of governmental respect for everyone's belief, and that a religion has a right to apply its interpretation of religious texts, interpretation that was accepted by members at their baptism, but that they may not agree with anymore when they lose faith in their religion. The two latest victories over France and Armenia (the last one, where the Grand Chamber overturned the decision of a smaller Chamber just two years earlier) are also encouraging for me, though the defeat of France was not a surprise, and even the Frech officials tried to settle out of court because they foresaw that they would be humiliated when the judges came to a decision. It certanly happened. Also humiliated was the Armenian Apostolic Church that has been lobbying their government to remove our registration with lies about our conduct.

    I do expect, though, that the time will come when judgements may not be so favourable, but it won't be the result of the writings of the apostate "generation" of 1980 (Raymond Franz, Dunlap, Randall Watters, Alan Feuerbacher, and the Canadian, James Penton). All their words have failed to make an impression on objective judges of the European Court, who may be of other religions or complete agnostics or atheists.

    James Penton is for me the most interesting of the above group because I met the man before he became openly apostate. My father and I were invited to supper at Frank Mott-Trille's house. James Penton ridiculed me for having chosen Engineering as my major at university (he said that "everybody these days wants to be a tinkerer", and not study a "real" subject such as hiis, history), and he dared to tell our host, Frank, that my father's account of the people of Alsace-Lorraine's feelings during the First World War was "not exactly like that", when Frank asked for Penton's opinion on the question. When I think about it, I am still amazed at his hubris. That he could think that he, a Canadian historian, reading books about what happened in France in the First World War, could know better than my Dad about the feelings of Alsatians and Lorrains during the World War, when his parents lived through those events, as did everyone in my Dad's village, not to mention all that my Dad has read on the history of his region in the magazines he has been subscribed to for decades! James Penton had to prove that he knew better than my Dad, but certainly didn't impress me. He didn't even say what his opinion was, just that he knew better from his studies of the question.

    During the supper, he and his wife spent all their time criticizing his fellow elders for being "narrow-minded". He even ridiculed Brother Russell for his decision to not have sexual relations with his wife, Anna, which for sure was out-of-the-ordinary, but still was mutually agreed upon and was that couple's personal choice. Both struck me as very narrow-minded themselves.

    My Dad and I were not comfortable the whole evening. It was no surprise when we learned that he had formed his own "Bible study group" in Lethbridge and had taken others with him. I have seen his books advertized on Amazon, but have absolutely no interest in reading them, because, while he has analyzed my faith's publications to try to embarrass us, I have analyzed the words of the man, and I am not fooled by him, because I saw his conceit at close range. His facts may be accurate, but his analysis cannot possibly be objective. I actually feel sorry for him!

    Being one of Jehovah's Witnesses and sticking with it (arguably the most difficult religion on earth) is not for everyone. To do so takes faith that the there is a Creator who cares about us, that, of all the holy books of the world (I have read the whole Quran and the Bhagavad Gita, and have watched a dramatization of the Mahabharata, all 96 45-minute episodes of the B.H and Ravi Chopra version) , the Bible is his Word, that there is a Devil and he has companions called demons who don't want anyone to serve Jehovah, and that the Bible's message of the Messianic Kingdom is what mankind needs. It is possible that I will not live long enough to see the New World come; or the great tribulation may start tomorrow. That for me is not the most important. The most important thing for me is that Jehovah is the best ruler. He helped me when I was at rock-bottom last year, and earlier this year, when several times, with the equivalent of $2 in my pocket in a foreign land, I prayed to him for wisdom. He always answered my prayer.

    I am not absolutely sure if he approves of what I am doing by posting here. I am sure that he doesn't want me to spend hours debating our beliefs with those who have already made up their minds to leave him and not believe he is the best ruler for individuals, for the earth and for the universe. But I try to live by the principle of James 4:17, even if my brothers and sisters don't always understand or agree with me. The Governing Body has also taught that organizational directives must be applied reasonably. They have also taught that Jesus once made an exception to Jehovah's direct command to him that he was only sent to the lost sheep of the house of Israel, when a higher principle, the principle of compassion, required it. So I think that the Governing Body might understand why I have written here what I have. I will be open to Jehovah's loving counsel if I have made a mistake in doing so.

  • freeflyingfaerie
    freeflyingfaerie

    I am not absolutely sure if he approves of what I am doing by posting here. I am sure that he doesn't want me to spend hours debating our beliefs with those who have already made up their minds to leave him and not believe he is the best ruler for individuals, for the earth and for the universe. But I try to live by the principle of James 4:17, even if my brothers and sisters don't always understand or agree with me. The Governing Body has also taught that organizational directives must be applied reasonably. They have also taught that Jesus once made an exception to Jehovah's direct command to him that he was only sent to the lost sheep of the house of Israel, when a higher principle, the principle of compassion, required it. So I think that the Governing Body might understand why I have written here what I have. I will be open to Jehovah's loving counsel if I have made a mistake in doing so.

    It is interesting, you seem to want to be so loyal to your religion, so honest...yet, you take it upon yourself to assume that you are somehow an exception to the rules of the very religion you defend. I am not trying to throw daggers here, but it seems like you may be trying to prove something to yourself by being here? And that is great, maybe your beliefs will evolve as you mingle.

    Some of what you wrote reminds me of my own father...and with a tone that says 'I am honest and true to the one and only true religion', but also with a voice that says 'help me, I know deep down I am gathering evidence that the religion is a big lie'...'give me time, in this quest for freedom'.

  • wobble
    wobble

    Dear Daniel,

    Thank you for your post, you are the most lucid, and eloquent, JW apologist we have had on here for many a long year. I feel an affinity with you, I would have expressed myself much as you have done a few years ago.

    My faith rested on Jehovah and Jesus, I believed the Bible to be the word of the true God. His word to man, I knew too, that Jesus was The Word, and so His example was paramount.

    Even if I believed those things now, I could not associate with Jehovah's Witnesses.

    I was born in to the religion, my grandmother believed it was "The Truth" , I grew up to develop a Bible trained conscience, not a conscience ruled, moulded, and changed at a whim by a group of men in Brooklyn, but a conscience based on what the Bible actually says.

    The Bible makes it plain, Jesus makes it plain, that worship belongs exclusively to His Father, Almighty God.

    True believers allow nothing or nobody to come between them and their exempler Christ, and their worship to God is offered through him in the sense that they have accepted Jesus as their Eternal Father. without that, there is no hope.

    Is any of what I have said above wrong, in scripture ?

    The Governing body of J.W's will tell you I have it all wrong, only they are the mediator for me, Christ is not my Eternal father, my worship only goes through them.

    I cannot associate with blasphemous liars such as them, nor support their empire, you are not being true to yourself or the Bible, or The Master, Christ if you continue so to do.

    You are sharing in the table of demons.

    Please do not be offended at what I have written, it is done out of love, I do not wish to see you waste your life and talents in the service of false religion.

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