Converts and near-converts, what did you give up for the Watchtower?

by Nickolas 24 Replies latest jw experiences

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  dgp

  Nickolas,
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  umadevi

  I lost most of my friends and close relatives when I became JW. I lost my ability to think, to feel, to reason for myself and my loved ones. I forgot to be a human and became a robot.
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  garyneal

  DGP,

  So sorry to hear about the loss of the woman you were interested in. I remember shortly after I first came on here posting a topic about Jehovah's Witness men being good catches as my wife and sister-in-law once said. That was when you first told me about this woman and I remember telling you that you were better off that she let you go. I guess now she will see what it is like being married in da troof, I hope for her sake that it goes well. I too wonder what my life would be like if 9 years ago my wife (then girlfriend) would've told me that she could not date me because I was not in da troof. I think I would've let her go and moved on, she was just another fish in the ocean to me at the time. I know I would not be here if that was the case, which brings me to Nick's topic...

  What did I give up for the Tower? My certainty about matters of faith for one. Prior to getting involved with them, I just took them as another sect of Christianity that was probably wrong since they did not believe in Hell (only Hades) nor did they believe in the Trinity (I did). While studying with them, I came to see a lot of things their way but I still maintained the beliefs in the Trinity and hell fire. In many ways, I was a bit agnostic but at the same time I was still believing in the inerrency of the Bible. I came to respect them and their teachings but I felt like their teachings were merely their theories and interpretations of the Bible and current events. I never believed that their teachings were the TRUTH and came to believe that no church had the 'true' teachings of the Bible though I felt like one was just as good as the other. The Bible contained the truth as far as I was concerned even if no religion properly interpretted it.

  When my wife went in, I decided that I would check for myself if this religion was everything it claimed to be. Truth is, I was beginning to believe that they were onto something and I new that if it were the truth it would be in my best interest to follow them. I knew what I would be giving up, my prior life as a run of the mill Christian guy and holiday celebrations with my family (a big part of our tradition). My relationship with my non-JW loved ones would be altered in a big way. I remember asking my mom how she would've felt if I did become a witness and she said that while she would hate to not see me on the holidays she would love me no matter what. It was a big decision to make but if this was the truth then it was a choice that I needed to make, I had to know.

  What I learned opened my eyes. I was shocked, disgusted, and yet somewhat relieved all at the same time. It became clear early on that this religion is anything but the TRUTH. Knowing that, I figured I'd really dig into the Bible and learn 'the real truth.' I was thinking that the truth is in there and I was going to find it. That was when I first joined this board.

  The result, more questions than answers, uncertainty, yet faith in Christ in some way though I am not sure about what being a 'true Christian' is really suppose to mean. So many interpretations, yet all agree on one basic principle, love. I later began examining the teachings of Buddha and Ghandi and found that they too followed that one basic principle. Being a spiritual man, I cannot see myself becoming an atheist. However, if I were to discover complete and unquestionable proof that Jesus is not who the Bible makes Him out to be, or worse, a person who has never existed, I can see myself becoming fully Gnostic (I am already part of the way there). For now, I will stick to my Protestant heritage, it has served me well over the years even if there maybe flaws in it (like 40,000+ denominations). I actually find that part (40,000 denominations) of Protestantism a good thing because it encourages independent thought and leeway on doctrinal matters.
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  ABibleStudent

  Hi Nickolas, I never converted and only did a Bible Study with an elder and later with a brother to placate the women, who I liked as a friend. I did not lose much by studying with JWs, and believe that my former friend changed her mind about me after the brother stopped studying with me. My former friend and I still communicate with each other infrequently, and she has changed her mind about me - bad association. She knows a little about how I feel about the WTBTS, but not everything because she does not want me to cause her doubts. I kept my faith in Our Father, Jesus Christ, and the Holy Spirit, and it may have increased a little because of my experience. While I was studying with the JWs and hanging with my former friend, I noticed many of the things that Steve Hassan wrote about in his book "Combatting Cult Mind Control". I read CCMC several weeks ago. I joined the JWSF and JWN looking for ways to help my former friend. I have come to the conclusion that there is not much that I can do personally to help her, except to pray for her to follow the teachings of Jesus Christ instead of the WTBTS. I am moving on with my life and meeting new friends.

  Peace be with you and everyone, who you love,

  ABibleStudent
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  Broken Promises

  The things we do for love.

  (BP, a born-in)
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  WTWizard

  I ended up having to throw away quite a few things. No, not romance (Jehovah himself destroyed that and the witlesses merely capitalized on that to make false promises to draw me into the cancer), and not drugs (I always believed that any psychiatric drugs, street or prescription, ruin your brain and your liver and I didn't want that). But I did have to throw away a few talismen and psychic readings (entertainment value but of low accuracy), my Christmas decorations (a few of which were still in good condition but many were in ratty condition because of wear and fine dust from an ultrasonic humidifier), and numerous records. My music collection lost much of its life because most of the key songs in it were "bad".

  As bad as that was, it could have been worse. The dingbat that dragged me into the cancer wanted me to move into an apartment complex he was starting to manage some 8 months after starting the study, and that would have meant him going through everything I had. A Commodore 64, along with a few games on it, would have had to be left behind. The majority of my records and tapes (mostly taped off those records) would have been left. The idiot claimed that it would save me gobs and gobs of money so I could cut way back on work and pio-sneer (it was 5 toilet papers a month on a $275 rent, or a toilet paper and a quarter a week--15 minutes of work's worth). It was also several times farther--commuting would have been much longer than an extra 15 minutes per week. And it was in the worst area of the city. Besides being unfurnished (the apartment I was in was furnished), further necessitating expenses. And not to mention rent hikes--where I was, the rent didn't go up for almost 9 years.

  And even worse, the pig would have been in frequently to check personal things. All it would have taken would be for him to have his 8 year old nephew for a week and expect me to visit, under the wrong circumstances, and it would have been much MUCH worse than all of the above. Also, he wanted control of everything. He wanted to dictate what kind of electric razor to use, what kind of soap, what kind of field circus supplies, light bulbs--everything. And not always (or even usually) for the better--eating hot dogs all the time is actually worse than what I had been eating (which itself isn't always the best, but at least I take vitamins. He doesn't.)

  After that near-disaster, I ended up wasting lots of time in field circus, and lots of money in a$$emblies. No education lost--just the opportunity to invest the money lost on these wasteful activities in silver or spend them on fun (or to split the difference so I could have some fun and put something away for the future). And I lost the ability to enjoy the Christmas music at work instead of dreading it--along with the time it took to make regular long walks to keep in good shape and prevent getting fat.
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  dgp

  Gary, thank you very much for your kind words. I appreciate them all the more because they come from you. You and Nickolas are where I wish I had gone, and I can see I was spared lots of trouble. Now that I read WTWizard's post, nope, it wouldn't have lasted. I wouldn't have gone that far.

  I forgot to mention that one of the good things that came with my involvement was my landing in this forum, and the good friends I have made here.
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  clarity

  Lost wordly family and friends and opportunity, but worst of all, who I was!

  To live under the control of this organization every thought and emotion must be blunted. Deadened. Like cold water poured over you .... raining on my parade!!

  I gave up me. Impetuous, spontaneous, bubbley, sensitive, warm, artistic,

  lover of christmas music and full moons and candles on a cake......

  I'm starting to sound more like me, but the numbness is still there.

  So, here's to a big thawing-out for all who have been numbed and dumbed down by this borg!

  clarity
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  diamondiiz

  Lost friends, and music had to be thrown out since you know - slaytanic music is a no no in dubbyland. But, really what I lost was 18 years of my youth. That's the main cause of my anger with the cult. But I've gone back to school so I'm achieving something I should have done 20 years ago.
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  Nickolas

  One of the hard lessons to be learned about this religion is the longer you hold on the more you lose.