by Cygnus 24 Replies latest jw friends
And now there is a debate between my father and his sister whether there should be a memorial service at the Kingdom Hall.
Is there a RULE whereby an elder who gives a memorial service at a Kingdom Hall MUST use the Society's outline? Because my father and my grandmother have made it quite clear that he under no circumstances do they want that. (I'm very blessed to have JW family who do not shun me even with the long hair (yes it is growing back), earring, and, oh yeah, disfellowshipment).
(((Cygnus))),
I don't know anything about the rules, but I wanted to express my condolences to you on the loss of your grandfather.
Dana
I've been to some funerals lately where the only thing that was similar were a couple scriptures about resurrection and eternal life on earth. The talks were very centered around the actual lives of the individuals.
One was a decorated bomber pilot in WWII. The speaker showed how the same valor the man showed in war he also showed as a witness. Very unique and inspiring for a witness funeral.
Pick someone who is an excellent speaker - if you can. They always take liberties with the outlines.
ya Cyg me too that's hard (((HUGS))). Safe and I beat Tina this time
Ven
"Injustice will continue until those who are not affected by it are as outraged as those who are."
I'm sorry to hear about your grandpa Cyg. And I hope all works out with your father and grandmother.
Lilacs
I don't want someone in my life I can live with. I want someone in my life I can't live without.
Cyg,
Sorry to hear that you have lost your grandfather.
Proplog, your words were encouraging re the funerals you attended where there was some actual homage paid to an individual. Good suggestion about finding a more liberal elder, and I hope Cyg can do so too.
sorry to hear about your Grandfather, Cygnus.
The best approach regarding the elder is probably to ask him if he would be willing to give a talk without using the WTS's outline, but rather on the basis of the friendships your Grandfather had, family, and some of his personal accomplishments.
If it's not important to the family to have the Memorial Service held at the Kingdom Hall, most funeral homes would be willing to hold the service. They offer a kind of neutral territory, and a JW speaker may not feel as strongly about sticking to the WTS outline once they are outside the Kingdom Hall.
Love, Scully
In the desert things find a way to survive. Secrets are like this too. They work their way up through the sands of deception so men can know them. - The X Files
Very Sorry to hear about your Grandfather. I haven't been to a memorial for anyone at a kingdom hall in many years but the ones I can remember were pretty much like all the rest. I think the big difference is with who you choose to give the u+la+g I have no idea howto spell that. Pic someone who will have respect for your grandfathers wishes. hope it all works out.
plm
Sorry to hear about your Gramps, Cyg. I never even laid eyes on either one of mine so you were very lucky to have him as long as you did.
As far as the JW funeral, I never went to one that wasn't used as a sales meeting. I think the use of the KH and an 'official' outline go hand in hand. Hope things work out.
Thanks for the responses.
An old family friend is supposed to give the talk, and everyone is against using a WTS outline. Everyone wants it to be more a memorial (not necessarily a eulogy) and DEFINITELY NOT a preaching. I'm very sure the elder friend will cooperate.
I'm just concerned that the local body at whatever congo this will occur at will step in and REQUIRE that the Society's outline be used.
Similar to what proplog said, my grandpa served in the military also during WWII. It was remarked last night that his service to the country should be mentioned during the talk, if it happens. Also, we had lots of old pictures of him last, many in uniform, some of him smoking a pipe. NO pictures of him at a Kingdom Hall or holding up some stupid Watchtower book.
Initially my grandmother did not want any service at a Kingdom Hall at all (since the brothers essentially forgot about her when my grandpa was in the nursing home for so many years). But one aunt in particular is pretty insistent that he have a service where words can be said. We should have done it last night at the home, that's my opinion.
My grandfather was not a great man, but he was loved. He was very mean to his children, even abused them. But when he coverted to JWs (mainly because of my grandma) he became a very gentle man. He suffered from Alzheimer's disease the last fifteen years or so. He forgot who everybody was except my father. Some days we would go visit him at the home and he would say right in front of grandma that "I'm so sad because my wife never comes to visit me anymore." He thought that the corridor outside his room was Kenmore Ave. (the main street by his old house). He worked for and retired from General Motors and some days he would say "My father took me to work with him this morning, at G.M., where he works." Sometimes he thought he was at kindergarten. He had a whole assortment of make-believe friends that he would describe to us in detail (mostly young blonde girls!). He had a stuffed animal called Nancy which he never went anywhere without (it was a dog but he always called it a cat). My dad used to tell him about the new system and what Jehovah would do for all of us, and he would stare up and say, "Jehovah is good."
I don't know how much he ever knew or cared about the religion. After reading so many horror stories by others, I'm very appreciative that my family, while mostly JW, doesn't make huge issues out of stuff like some others do. The decision whether to have a service at the Kingdom Hall is supposed to be made today. I don't know which way I lean, but I will go if it happens.
