by jambon1 49 Replies latest jw friends
VIOLA - Big big hugg to you!!! I couldn't stop reading your story! You are such a strong and wonderful person! I hope and wish you have love and joy in your life now! Thank you for sharing your story so many have been abused by that horable cult! Your experiance never should happen!
FS
mum
yes i recall the talks about repressed memories and how they discouraged it. My therapist never planted anything. He let me talk and little by little
things came out. I dealt with the worst first ( or really whatever came out) and then over the years a lot of less horrible stuff just emerged. The wts just hates therapy, it seems. When I told the elders I was seeing one they were sure he'd have sex with me. I said he gets paid to keep professional boundaries. They were quick to remind me that therapists do have sex with their patients too. They just seemed to worry about that and was he using hypnosis. No to both. wow, get in at leas the 20th and work on the 21st. Not to say that therapists don't cross boundries, they do, However for them it involves their paycheck if they get reported. It does happen and sadly women and men who have no boundries can end up with an abusive therapist.
found- thanks, glad to be able to speak. I have been trying to speak for years and would start and then stop.
GB
I was a little upset reading your reply. I think if you had said that to me, why did I keep putting myself in positions to get hurt? i might have had a negative response.
you are right about the secretive nature of the wts and the witch hunts. glad you got out.
One thing I do know is that people like to believe all manner of evil things about people and that there is a big difference between what we know and what we think we know. When you read a post by someone it may or may not be true. All you really "know" is that someone posted something.
I remember one of my friends got caught with his GF for dry humping - or rather, he turned himself in, LOL.
They asked him questions like when he would spank his monkey, how many times a week, what he thought about, etc. Pervs.
Viola,I'm so sorry for what you had to endure.
Gubberningbody, regarding your post #1396 (sorry, I cant cut and paste)
With all due respect, what qualified you to ask those questions and come to those conclusions about people?
And are you saying that you would ask a rape victim those questions?
GB
we don't know each other but I swear truth is stranger than fiction. I wish with all my heart none of anything that has ever happened to me was true, but it is and there is more.
Regarding counseling rape or incest or teen sex or really anyone with sexual issues, better get that therapy degree. You can really hurt someone asking questions like why do they keep putting themselves in the same positions. folks that do that have boundary issues that won't be fixed by some home spun psycho babble. Get that degree before you counsel.
Glad you did not see this in your tour of duty, glad some elders don't ask inappropriate questions.
Glad you were able to leave.
thanks empty
i was df'd. it wasnt for sexual misconduct, but for free thinking. my questions and points were never discussed and i was told i had succumb to apostate thinking. i was talked to on monday and df'd on thursday without so much as one answer or even shown the errors in my thinking.
i think my problem was that i got babtized at 16, before i even got my drivers license. i had no clue how the world worked, my only experience was my sophmore year in high school. faith is easier when your a kid. i accepted word as law, seeing as how the gb is jehovahs mouthpiece and all...
only when i got older and a lil more wiser and mature in my thinking did the chinks in the spiritual armor start to manifest, and did i actualy start to meditate upon the theology and dogma, wich they say to do, but really hopeyou dont.
by the way i work a menial job, and i am literate. your career has nothing to do with your intelligence. i have associated with many diffrent strata of society, as it is put above. i have picked up on much social and emotional intelligence.
the reason i work a menial job isnt that i am stupid. it was that i was stupid, and believed that college was a waste of time because armageddon was going to be here tomorrow. i was not affored the chance. i feared reproff from an angry god, angry elders and an even angrier mother.
i was told i wouldnt make it out of school. it has been sixteen years since i graduated. my own child has started school.
We're walking through the scenario leading up to the pornea so you can examine your own unconscious thought processes. . . . gubberningbody
The problem is . . . you're trying to achieve two different things at the same time . . . It's not really possible to be a counsellor and a judge at the same time. I agree that some well motivated Elders tried to use the JC arrangement as best they could. But ultimately it's a JUDICIAL committee . . . establishing whether a DF offence has been committed and whether true repentance is evident. To try and "assist" the respondent in some way at the same time is outside of the true purpose of it's function. It's lip service in order to add some sugar.
Ultimately, from my albeit limited experience . . . that's what a JC was . . . often resulting in shame, humiliation, condemnation and punishment. A true "counsellor" NEVER DOES ANYTHING OF THE SORT. To frame a JC in terms of "assisting" in anyway is delusional . . . and ultimately those who are participating with this motive are self-deluded.
Viola . . . I can only express to you my sadness and very best wishes for the future
Well said Sizemik
It apears that GBs intentions are good, hes trying to be the good guy and help people.
And this is what I mean when i say that members of this forum, who think they are helping by being "nice" elders are doing way more harm then the hard nose elders are.
No matter how nice and well intentioned you are, you are still not qualified to "assist" a rape victim.... period, no exceptions.
Your well meaning, but ignorant, questions, comments and advice harm people, it is like a second rape.
