by ladonna 47 Replies latest jw friends
Simon,
To hear that Ang feels intimidated here saddens me greatly. Of all people, Ang should feel free! She does a lot of work, as do you. It is because of you both that we have this forum.
I hope others read what you have written and see themselves as they are; intimidating, ruthless, and sadly, full of self righteous venom.
((((((Ang)))))))....You're not alone on this one...but it isn't right that you feel like this!!!
Love to you both,
Ana
Good morning Ana,
You said:
I hope others read what you have written and see themselves as they are; intimidating, ruthless, and sadly, full of self righteous venom.
While indeed there are some pretty brutal words exchanged here from time to time I would like to send you a message. No one (and I mean NO ONE) here is guiltless of ever having committed some sort of deed that might be looked upon as unfavorable (the secret kind count too FYI). This, I would like to remind you, includes you.
I only bring this to your attention as you are getting a bit soap-boxy for my tastes and thought I would help you step down from said box before anyone gets too tired of the soap-talk from you and starts telling stories.
Perhaps a call for a more gentile form of communication might suffice from here on out, what say you fellow-imperfect one?
Just a thought,
Julie
I'm just calling in here to say that I'm greatly encouraged by your comments, and thanks to Simon and Angharad too.
((((HUGS)))) to all.
Cheers,
Ozzie
Julie,
I am as imperfect as everyone, and I never meant to sound soap boxy.
Sorry I gave that impression. It could indeed read that way, and the point is well taken. I will take care in future to look before I press the reply button, to ensure I am not making any further problems, or posting what could appear as flammatory. Sorry Julie, and to anyone else.
Thankyou,
Ana
Thanks for the encouragement Ana, I think this is a good thread as I'm sure there are a lot of people who feel the same way.
Ana,
You asked me how to "stay emotionally detached." I don't always do that. Sometimes, I get furious, but I try to calm down before I post, so as to attack the idea, not the poster. As Abaddon pointed out, it somewhat depends on the statements of the poster. Sometimes, I will go after the person, as OUTLAW, can well attest, as he has commented after I got on someone's case.
I guess we all have our hot buttons. One of mine is a JW or fundie who comes here to condesceningly tell us poor ignorant ones how it is. That really gets my juices flowing.
Now, if someone attacks me, it usually doesn't bother me, because I know in my heart, they are full of shit, hee hee. There were two posters here that I respect who were mad at me. I sent them private emails, and we got things worked out, and we get along fine now.
For shy ones, I would recommend D. Whiltshire's advice. Just jump in with your opinion now and then. It won't hurt. The worst thing that can happen is that you will get blasted, but it won't really ruin you. Surprisingly, you may find others who share your divergent view.
Now, my wife is one of those shy posters. Sometimes, she will read something and agree with a contraversial point of view. I encourage her to voice her agreement. Sometimes she does; sometimes she doesn't.
Julie, on your first post, you said you were shy. Was that tongue in cheek humour? You strike me as a direct, articulate poster. You don't come across as shy. Just curious.
LaDonna:
Dont let others intimidate you.
Speak your mind, whatever it is.
You are one of the more genuine and caring people on this forum.
I have read some of your posts and even when someone has an attitude, you seem concerned for them as a person. If that makes you "soapboxy" then so what! Not that I have ever heard that expression before, but I can think of worse things to be called.
Ana dares to speak her mind and all of a sudden she is "soapboxy"??
Ana, don't let others intimidate you. You have as much right to say what you think as anyone else here, even as much as the "soapboxy" ones
The board could be a much more livlier place if people weren't so intimidated and spoke their minds (in a respectful and civil manner of course).
Starting about six months ago, at least 4 different men complimented me on how I had *improved* since I started posting on the net.
One was referring to my emotional state, as we e-mailed privately quite a lot. A lovely man no longer posting here, and a tad impertinent to insinuate that I needed improving.
Another said I used to be timid in my posts - if you can believe that!
Another said I was learning to articulate my thoughts better - and not fall for the common sayings as "All....." - because it's almost never "all." Lord, I must have written just like most jw's!
Another said I wasn't as mean as he thought I was. He's never spoken to my husband.
Anyway..........particularily the women........as jw's, we were never allowed to discuss & hold our own with a jw baptised man, particularily in public. Never. Most women aren't taught to hold themselves or their thoughts as equals to men. All jw women are taught to be inferior to all jw men. It's God's plan for us.
Learning to articulate your thoughts, your arguments, your stance in an argument (and holding to it) is a remarkable undertaking. Learning not to take yourself so seriously also helps. In going back to school, I've found (for some odd reason) that I'm the most outspoken person in class (besides the fat idiot across the room). However, I'm the only one who can make a comment which makes sense, and still come across with humor. That's not such a little thing, imho. It remains to be seen if the professor agrees with my opinion, however.
I think most people are quiet in many ways. The forum allows us the freedom to test the water in other ways. Thanks, Simon.
waiting
ps: Good points, Ana - and not a bit soapboxy, imho. Just voicing your opinion, like the rest of us.
On the point of shyness..........
There are many different ways it can manifest itself - and unless shy persons compare notes (which they usually don't because they're shy) or do a lot of reading, many things can be masked as shyness.
Believe it or not, I used to be *weirdly* shy. Some years. Violently shaking all over if having to talk to an adult, vomiting, etc. Then normal for a while. Then the shakes again, with horrible red streaks which would flow up my neck - dead giveaway. The violent shaking was the worst, I think. I couldn't even pick up a glass/cup.
Thankfully, it can be overcome for the most part. Now when I tell people that I was "very shy" - they look at me like I'm nuts.
Btw, in the above post, sorry if I came across as "greatly improved". That's only those men's opinion. I'm quite sure there are others who don't share that opinion.
We're all just in it for the ride, eh?
waiting
