I could really use some advice :( (page 3)

ballistic

The trouble is with what rebel8 suggested is it's on the negative side. It's like approaching your boss and saying you don't like things. It's the start of something bad. If you really want to try and salvage this situation, you bring out the love, you laugh and love, you tell her you know she loves you and you just want her to be happy. I hope this makes sense now.

Think About It

If you love her and fear she might be tempted while both of you are away........putting an engagement ring on her finger might help. Otherwise, that's pretty normal behavior for college aged girls & boys. I was in love with my college sweetheart and probably would have married her if pressed too, but we broke up over similar circumstances. If it happens, you move on from there, because there are alot of girls out there. Nothing hurts more than young heartbreak, but then again nothing feels better than falling in love. Good luck.

Think About It

Wonderment

I am afraid you already lost her. It seems she wants to have her cake and eat it too. I get the impression she likes both of you, and wants to play on both sides, or she is on her way to dump you eventually. She spends more time with him than with you, and that is not good. She finds the other guy funny, and that's usually a sign that she likes that aspect of him a lot.

To ask you if she can kiss him is tantamount to saying that she wants both of you. She wants to know how really jealous you are, so that she can manage to keep you in her relationship until she decides what to do. My advice would be just as some others here have said. Move on!

If you move on, she may realize then that her love for you is strong enough to keep a one-to-one relationship with you alone. But from experience, I can tell you she is not a keeper. Keep an eye to see how she manages phone calls in your presence, and if she is anxiously expecting a call. If you see any tendency there. Move on fast. You lost her heart!

I know this advice is painful to follow, but in the long run, it may be your best bet. I hope that helps.

sizemik

Fifth . . . I'm inclined to feel a bit on the negative side on this . . .

Her question about kissing him . . . was to guage your reaction, rather than suggest she do it . . . I get that. But you still must ask yourself what motivated the question. She may well still have feelings for you . . . and be trying to guage how you will react . . . she probably doesn't want to hurt you. But it seems also that she has romantic feelings for this other guy . . . likes his company, his attributes, and admits to a small crush?

In my experience, long distance relationships need to be of the highest calibre to survive. I don't think this one is of that calibre. No need to rush anything, and much of the advice above is good. I would brace myself however.

OnTheWayOut

If it were me, I would say "This guy has feelings for you, you need to stop hanging around at all with him. Blame me when you tell him."

If she won't do that for your sake, then she is trying to make you jealous or she really wants the freedom.

Mad Sweeney

You guys are at an age that people are learning how to have relationships, how to manage monogamy while surrounded by hot co-eds, how to be grown up people. (this is also the age that many JWs get their first divorce or realize they're stuck for life but that's another story)

The other guy likes her. He has more consistent and easier access to her association. He has no problem hitting on her knowing she has a boyfriend. He has the upper hand.

Let her go.

There are more than three and a half BILLION females on the planet. You'll find another one.

Sorry if that sounds cold but you've got an uphill battle that I think you've already lost. Let her go and maybe she'll come back to you. Maybe not. But in the meantime you'll be free of the drama.

Scully

She's lying.

Dump her.

Move on.

FifthOfNovember

Just thought I'd give you all an update.

We talked last night again, I asked her about the kiss question, she told me it was just to get a perspective on how mad I was. I kept pressing the issue, since I was still unsure, and now sincerely believe her. We talked about her hanging out with him, I told her I wasn't going be a controlling boyfriend and tell her who she can and can't hang out with, but I said it would make me feel better and I thought it would be better for us if she didn't (I still felt like a controlling jerk for saying that but whatever, she thought it would be a good idea). Since her program basically requires her to be around him she said that would be the only time she would see him from now on. She also said that they never hung out alone, it was always with other people. We talked some more, assuring eachother that we weren't interested in seeing other people. She brought up the idea of getting promise rings and I thought it would be a good idea. So this week when I go over to see her we're going to go to the mall and look around for rings. And I'll get to see her five days in a row, so it should be a good week.

I'm sure none of you understand just how close we are, but we completely trust eachother, and would hate nothing more than breaking up. I am so glad I decided to bring this up again with her because I feel like we are so much closer. This week was probably one of the roughest for our relationship, we were a bit edgy all week and once we recovered from that, this came up. Things are basically back to normal now, honestly, things might be better than ever. And I don't mean to be rude, but I'm glad I didn't take anyone's advice here. Except for rebel8's, I definitely feel talking is always the best thing. We realized just how strong of a relationship we have and look forward to the future, because we plan on staying together for a long time.

sooner7nc

I'm sure none of you understand just how close we are, but we completely trust eachother

Oh sure, I for instance have only been married for 16 years so I would never know or understand.

FifthOfNovember

What I mean is, I'm sure everyone here is just thinking we're a couple of college kids who aren't serious about our relationship. But no one understands just how untrue that is. But thanks. >.>

I could really use some advice :(

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