Hello Everybody.
I wanted to share something with you all about something that happened to me last night.
I usually get these things called sleep paralysis, which is where you are alseep and you wake up and you think, oh ill get up now or soemthing, so you go to get up and you cant.
Your actually paralysed. But the strange thign is your awake....? but still asleep..? its very very hard to explain. your conscious that your awake in your mind and your trying to think of a way to wake yourself up, and yet you cannot function any part of your body not even open your eyes, except your brain. I actually WILL myself to wake up but then you get these horrible sense of impending doom. its almost like an out of body experience.
I have this quite often, to the point that its now become the norm and im used to it, so when it happens to me, im laying there thinking oh S**T, just bear with it until i wake up and snap out of it.
But,.... this is not what happened to me last night.
Last night, i woke up around 10pm (fell asleep around 7pm for a few hours kip since i got up at 4 am previously) had a drink etc, and went to go back to sleep.
Now you know that point in your sleep just before you clock out, literally that millisecond before its lights out to the land of nod, i didnt fall asleep, but i became completely paralysed but i was wide awake and able to look around, see with my eyes my surroundings, but couldnt finction anything.
It was absolutely horrifying, becasue not only this, during this was happening to me, i will try to describe as best as i can this feeling that came with it.
The feeling was like - imagine the sound of a bass speaker going from mild to loud gradually...like a building up of a drone sound from quiet to loud.
The feeling was that sound, in my whole body i lay there and could feel this weird building up of this horrible feeling and quicker than a snap of your fingers it was gone and i was lookig around wondering when it was gonna stop, then realized i could move, and i lay upright scared out of my mind.
Also, the last few days i have been telling myself i think i am becoming an athiest etc or even agnostic, because of a long long story i wont go into here.
But during all this was happening to me i was saying to God in my mind to please please help me get out of this. And it did which was good. I dont know if that was an act of God, i am even sceptical right now, but it just suprised me that i did pray quickly as i have professed to myself that he almost doesnt exist (unsure) and yet that was the first thing i did.
Anyway, God and religion aside, this was a very bizzare and worrisome experience i had, and i wonder if im in store for some horrible health problem in the future. Is this a sign which will lead to some paralysing disease of some sort?
Aside from this very different experience i had, has anyone else ever had the first things i mentioned... sleep paralysis. It wasnt SP i had last night, it was much much different.
Anyway, thanks for hearing me out, just wanted to vent this out, im 24 and as sad as it seems i really dont have any friends i can talk to, im new to NZ here and i have some weird social anxiety about meeting new people etc.
I would tell my parents but they have way too much going on right now (little brother is about to go to jail and a drug addict)
Thanks,
Darren