My heart goes out to you. What you are facing is my fear. I wish I had some words of wisdom all I can offer is comfort.
I am so hurt and angry
by Igot2bme 25 Replies latest jw friends
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Igot2bme
@Ziddina- This is my very first post http://www2.jehovahs-witness.net/watchtower/beliefs/207220/1/Malawi-Party-Card-Scans-and-comment, this was the reason for me to not go back. Of course I have done extensive research since then and know quite a bit about the org and it's origins. But coupled with the way my in laws and others in the cong have acted and the things that they cover up it just solidifies the fact they don't have gods holy spirit as they claim.
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ziddina
THERE we go - thx for posting that! So I take it that you've read both of Ray Franz' books by now...? And Steve Hassan's?
I've been reading your threads, so I hadn't gotten to that post yet.
I think my previous post is still valid - if you had been in the same mental state - freedom, if you will - of a so-called 'worldly' woman, you would have had a different reaction to your son's behavior - well, heck - all during his childhood, for that matter.
By the way, how is your daughter?? Is she baptised, or has she decided that the JW way isn't for her?
I haven't grasped yet - your husband isn't a JW, but used to be? Or was raised one and is baptised, but trying to fade? Anyway...
I still stand by my earlier comments - do research OR get involved in something that enriches you - and let your son's situation simmer. Patience and a hands-off approach sounds like the way to go, at least for now.
Best results to you... Zid
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Hortensia
Hadit - Holiday celebrations are banned because they develop close family ties which bonds family members to each other and they don't want close family relationships. They want to preserve their membership and not lose entire families.
That never occurred to me. What an amazing thought! It makes absolute sense. Thanks for saying that.
Igot2bme - just get on with YOUR life, learn to be happy and have fun without JWs. Find some good non-JW friends. Let your son know you won't accept disrespect and that you are willing to talk when he is, but get on with creating a life for yourself. He'll wake up, or he won't, but there's not much you can do about it. Exercise is a good idea, someone recommended that and they are right.
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clarity
The problem is you are not a "normal" woman and your son is not a "normal" kid!
This situation with jehovah's witnesses is not an open and shut case of Tough Love.
Hadit's words show that it goes much deeper than that.
"The society is keeping us immature (stunted frontal lobe development - logic and reasoning/decision making) and attaching family members to them rather than to each other. This way each member is capable of being loyal to only ONE source - them. They use fear and fear also keeps the brain from maturing. Holiday celebrations are banned because they develop close family ties which bonds family members to each other and they don't want close family relationships ".
Read it and learn.
Hang in there and don't panic.
clarity
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AGuest
You're not the problem, dear IGot (peace to you!). Here's the problem:
He is living with a witness family and dating thier daughter
See that? That means that there is NOTHING you can do to bring him 'round, right now. Sorry, dear one, but he can't HEAR you, right now. Because he's not listening... at least, not with his ears!
What you CAN do is love HIM... and support him... and be there... particularly if/when it all doesn't work out for him. Which is highly likely (although, it's MORE likely that he'll find himself forced into a marriage, soon).
But if you think you can get between a young man and his... ummmm... "yearnings"... you're fooling yourself. Something that might help? Play Michael Bolton's "When A Man Loves A Woman"... and hip yourself to what's REALLY going on. You might find yourself feeling even more "sorry" for your son... because it's not his head... and probably not even his heart... that's "ruling" here.
Again, peace to you... truly.
A slave of Christ,
SA