At what point in time did you lose your confidence in yourself?

by sabastious 12 Replies latest jw friends

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  sabastious

  Sabastious my wife and I was talking about this during lunch. Since I am a born-in I would say since I was a little boy up until two years ago. When I ended therapy. I have been building my self esteem ever since. My confidence in myself comes and goes. It is a work in progress. The cult took alot from me and my wife. Totally ADD

  It was/is the same for me. I feel like I became a young adult at 24 which was 3 years ago. Scriptures in the Bible about "baby food" ring so true for me now and I really don't mean that in a condescending way towards the Witnesses. They are the ones that choose to write gerber Watchtower as well as choose to serve it under the ruse of "food at the proper time."

  EDIT: Actually come to think of it gerber Watchtower does sound kind of condescending.

  -Sab
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  sabastious

  I think another question for ex-JWs, and those fading, is" At What Point Did You Start to Gain Confidence in Yourself?

  For me it was a recurring cycle through my adolescence. Every time my "rebel without a cause" phases would show up they would be hammered down into a hole in the ground that required extra energy to get out of. Each time the hammer came down it came down harder and with more at stake until it was either all on the line or I was snug back in my place in the Society.

  -Sab
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  discreetslave

  My parents (non JW) started eroding mine from very young. Since my teachers said I was very smart my parents wouldn't let me live a mistake down. When I started studying with JW's @ 16 I started to gain my confidence back. I became a witness powerhouse and that was building me up. Then I started having health problems in my 20's which put a dent in my service, so my confidence started to erode again. With that I allowed others opinions to seep in and erode my confidence even further. I was actually told by a few people I'm too happy, I should tone it down. Or the ones who said I should be doing this or that. I let them get in my head and their voices became my voice thus a vicious self defeating spiral downward.

  This spring was a rebirth for me. Learning the truth about "the truth" set off a spark that set my confidence ablaze.