Hi everyone,
I posted a lengthy concern a while back about my 23 year old daughter on the verge of baptism. The good news is she still hasn't progressed past studying - no door knocking thank god. The bad news is she's still studying, attending meetings, etc and I am still very much a "satanic influence." She's convincing me mind control with JW's isn't something to be laughed off because of her odd comments like "I HAVE to go to the meeting, it's like I physically need it." YEAH, worrying to say the LEAST.
Anyway, the girl she studies with tells her all sorts of things like the family she'll gain, and how much everyone will love her. I'm sitting back and giving her the freedom to do what she wants, but I've never seen her so sad and alone. She has obeyed the command to break off all relationships with the world under some promise of being taken in, but she is always at home unless she's at a meeting. It's worrying me sick. She keeps assuring me she has friends, but they're clearly not interested in spending any time with her outside meetings. When i enquired about this she told me the girl she studies with has said to her she's not being rejected, she just isn't "with them" YET and "Jehovah is testing you. Will you choose the world or us?" I think this is revolting but my daughter somehow thinks its fair. She's also under the impression that her JW friends are the most moral group she could ever be with and this is going to entice her into the cult.
WELL, so much for that. I was in a very worldly nightclub and there's this girl and a bunch of other young JWs on the dancefloor acting VERY worldly. So, even though they're telling my daughter she's not with them yet, they're out amongst the worldly people, while my kid isn't because she's at home obeying the f**king Watchtower's command to keep separate from the world and has not got any friends in it anymore. I can only assume they don't like my daughter for whatever reason (which is sad because she thinks the association is being withheld until she progresses when they still don't have to invite her even when she IS baptized) or they are keeping her away from their social gatherings because they don't live up to their self-proclaimed standards and that hypocrisy could make my daughter walk before baptism. I don't know if I'm on the right track here, though...
When she confronted her study teacher about it the study teacher said "I didn't like being there. Seeing your mom there was Jehovahs way of telling me to get out, so I left." CRAP! She was having the time of her life. My daughter bought it and still believes all their bullshit. On top of it they bring up where they're all going around my daughter and say "you have to start coming with us" but then she tells me "Mom, they don't actually tell me where I'm supposed to be going and they never follow through." I know it upsets her and she's lonely but she believes until she progresses she's not "ENTITLED TO THE ASSOCIATION." Nauseating! She's young and should be out having fun with people her age and it's heartbreaking that she's not. What the hell are they doing to her? I thought the fact they're out at nightclubs while telling her they have house parties and are some special breed of human who can resist the world, and "you'll be included when you're a witness" would be enough to wake her up but it wasn't.
Can someone offer insight into whats going on here? Is there truth to "We cant hang out with you that much, yet" which is why she's allowed to go to some gatherings and not others? I just want her to realize that having friends shouldn't be this complicated and conditional and they don't know how to have relationships. "We'll associate with you when..." is the saddest thing I've ever heard. Especially when they tell her she's well liked, etc. Is it their fault? Or is it the rules?