Double Lives of JW Youth

by camicia 38 Replies latest watchtower beliefs

  • InterestedOne
    InterestedOne

    Black Sheep wrote:

    The WT has set a trap for her.
    They have warned her that she will get opposition from family.
    If you oppose her, you fulfill that prediction.

    Yes, camicia, notice how they have prepped her in the beginning of the "Bible Teach" book with the following sentences:

    As you learn more from the Bible, you may find that some well-meaning people will urge you to stop such studies. They may worry that you will change your beliefs. But do not let anyone stop you from forming the best friendship you can ever have. - What Does The Bible Really Teach, chapter 1, paragraph 22.

  • Witness My Fury
    Witness My Fury

    I hate to break it to you (and her) but even IF she gets baptised it doesn't mean the level of social integration will change at all. It may, it may not, it depends how cliquey the young ones are in her congregation and the surrounding ones. And also if they think she will "fit" in with them.

    If they are up to no good, then the last thing they want hanging around with them is an Uber righteous newly baptized person, so she will remain shut out of most things just as she is now. It does depend on the congregation though.

    In my congregation where I was born into it, socially we were VERY accomodating, probably because nothing was worthy of being hidden from prying eyes. We had a brilliant but eccentric mentally unstable young man in his late 20's early 30s and he was never excluded and came everywhere with us, we accepted him as a part of the furniture.

    Fast forward to my last (current) congregation and during my last 10 years there it is ME who was / is socially excluded by the young ones. I've had it several times where they tell me to my face what a great time they had on the beach (or doing whatever) yesterday! They are so ignorant they defy description.

    Make her read this please so she can see the bigger picture and save herself a lifetime of grief and missed opportunites.

  • exwhyzee
    exwhyzee

    I think the JW kids are excluding her because they'd have to be a good example to her while she's studying. That's too much work/pressure/guilt when you want to go out and have fun yourself, especially if you're a typical JW youth and are leading a somewhat double life just to be able to do something other than meetings and service. Before she'd be included in the group, they'd need to first determine if she's the over the top super zelous new type or the kind that can bend the rules a little without running to the elders with stories or spoiling their only way of having a somewhat normal youth.

    Too bad you couldn't arrange for your daughter to be at one of those places so she could get a glimpse of them herself.

  • maryann
    maryann

    Hi Camica, I sympathize with your plight. You're daughter probably only wants validation and love and she thinks she's found it. Is there something else that she's interested in that you could re-direct her attention to?

    A thought - JW publishers represent less than 1% of the world's population. Ask her if she thinks that believing in a God that will destroy 99.99% of the world is a loving god worth giving up her life for?

    Wishing you success!

  • GLTirebiter
    GLTirebiter
    I spoke to her about it tonight and she says she does want out but feels guilty that she wasted the girls time.

    Wait a minute here! Who is wasting whose time? Who is getting credit in the congregation for bringing a new "study" to the Kingdom Hall? Who is recording the service hours on their time slips? Who is using guilt to overcome your daughter's doubts?

    Try to get through to her that she needs to decide based on what she feels is the right thing to do, not because she feels like she owes anything to them. She doesn't, she has been doing them a favor by listening to their presentations. This is the tactic of unscrupulous used car salesmen: making you feel guilty for taking up their time taking test drives and haggling over the deal--that's their job!--so that you will sign a sales contract for a bad deal. She owes them nothing just for being present while they give their sales pitch!

    (edit: @ interested one: you said it first!)

  • Black Sheep
    Black Sheep
    Is there something else that she's interested in that you could re-direct her attention to?

    That will not work.

    Anyone who has been touched by the WT has to fully understand that the WT was not selected to be God's sole channel before they can start getting over the damage that has been done to them.

    Some of the never-baptised ex-Bible Studies around here are amongst the most mal-adjusted members in our community.

  • camicia
    camicia

    Thanks for more helpful advice, everyone. Can't tell you how much I appreciate it and how much I'm learning.

    "she will probably say we are spiritually protected."

    Ugh, that term is familiar. Her teacher says things like "It's so important we go to meetings because Armageddon could come when we're in a kingdom hall and all together" UNBELIEVABLE. but it's working on my kid. She might be convinced they will be protected. She was actually shocked to hear witnesses died in the Japan earthquake. You can see the battle I've got here.

    "Your daughter should not feel that she owes the study conductor anything."

    The teacher is worse than that. Because my daughter is questioning, this teacher spends a lot of time with her after their 'bible study' and she tells me that the teacher says to her "I don't even record this time, because I'm only interested in you, as friends" or the two of them go out to lunch and the teacher keeps saying "I spend a lot of time with you outside studying so obviously i care about you as a person" and she takes her to meetings, so my daughter feels like the girl has wasted a lot of time. BUT she thought it WAS The truth. I think she can be angry a the whole lot of them for teaching her a load of garbage that they could count as time, but my daughter got nothing out of. But she doesn't see it that way and can't shift the guilt. She also thinks they're all so proud of her, but that's how naive she is, sadly.

    "If they are up to no good, then the last thing they want hanging around with them is an Uber righteous newly baptized person"

    From what I saw they are one person in kingdom hall and an entirely different one outside. It's infuriating though because my daughter quickly got a reputation down there as being an ex-nightclub/partying kind and they didn't approve of that. People stopped talking to her because it wasn't "spiritually up building" conversation. If anything they think she's going to be a bad influence. Her teacher says to her "You even have to watch your association with other witnesses because everyone's at different levels" OH GOD! Talk about mental disturbances. My conclusion is the teacher is telling my daughter "Do as I say, not as I do." at this point. Or maybe they're trying to groom her into an uber witness so they can laugh at her later or show the elders that they groomed someone into an uber witness.

    "I've had it several times where they tell me to my face what a great time they had on the beach (or doing whatever) yesterday! They are so ignorant they defy description."

    Thanks for saying this because i will show it to her as she thinks they only talk about doing fun stuff in front of her to encourage her to become a witness so they can invite her.

    They've asked her to go out again today. Now she can't say they're not inviting her (i still don't trust them) but she doesn't want to go. But she wants to go to the meeting which i don't understand. Honestly, is there any truth to witnesses needing the meetings because of the brainwashing? She's been going consistently for 4 months and despite all the bullshit going on about the 'friends', she still wants to go. She says sometimes she doesn't even know why. Is this just nonsense in her head or can it be true?

  • Black Sheep
    Black Sheep
    She also thinks they're all so proud of her, but that's how naive she is, sadly.

    Unfortunately, it is not actually her they are proud of.

    She is trophy. A convert. Now, that is something for them to be proud of, personally.

  • Black Sheep
    Black Sheep

    BTW, I am a born-in, never baptised, non-believing husband of a JW, and I get invited to JW functions.

    If they are not inviting her out, it is nothing to do with her unbaptised status.

  • cptkirk
    cptkirk

    it's good that she is seeing what you mentioned in japan. that is really the best you can do...get all those facts out in the open now...so that 2 years from now she isn't a total basket case, wondering how she got involved with these sociopaths.

    i mentioned new york as an example, as i understand about a dozen witnesses died as a result of 911.

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