In the hall I was last associated with, there were/are several young guys, like 25-39, that were the mike handlers, mag counters, grass cutters, who were supposed to be groomed to be MS or elders? someday, the elders were all 50-85 yrs. old. I used to care about getting noticed, try to keep the kids sitting still, giving answers, driving in service all of the time, cleaning the hall, even did the accounts for a month before they gave it to an appointed brother, then finally I gave up. (Finding out it wasn't the Truth was the real came later on)
As I was on my way out, they finally appointed another brother and then another recently both who were my friends but it just seemed so arbitrary, like they said to themselves " oh this guy left, man, maybe we better throw these guys a bone so they dont give up and leave too."
What was so funny is that in this area that I live in, it is so apparrent that the brothers are just playing games, playing favorites.
I moved into the area, had been an MS, "served" at Patterson, married, had a full time, attended all of the meetings, 8-12 in service regular, never said no to anything asked of me, even asked to conduct book study when it was still going on. Still no appointment.
A guy who was studying with a pioneer elder in the hall, was a real go getter, and a friend of mine at the time, studies, gets baptized, wife gets baptized, and appointed as an Ms in a period of like 4 yrs.
Well finally they ask me if I could serve, and thinking that this must be the spirit led direction, I confess that I had looked at porn recently. I just figured that they would see it was my nature to be totally up front about things. My naivete was never more apparent as it was then. I trusted these guys to be understanding and instead they played the game and treated it as an admission of guilt and so I was sidelined for the rest of the time I was a witness. (Another 7 yrs.) Ah, anyway, I grew up to perform for the praise and the pat-on- the-back in the kingdom hell. It's how I was raised and got praise and approval from pretty fanatical parents during all that time, too.
About a year ago, when that study article, Brothers, Can You Reach Out? was being done on a Sunday, I was sitting next to my wife just fuming inside and not embarrassed to let it show. I was beginning to realize finally that it was abuse of power and manipulation of people.
Apparently being honest and forthright gets you shit-canned.
Damn, that felt good! But what feels even better is to never ever have to go back and look to schmucks like that for approval. F**K you!