As Jehovah's Witnesses we Believe......... to sum it all up

by stuckinamovement 10 Replies latest jw friends

  • punkofnice
    punkofnice

    If you want a chance of surviving Armageddon you must listen carefully and appreciatively as the 8 year old girl calling at your door on Saturday morning presents you with a magazine article on Cahokia Mounds.

    Let's tweak this a bit.................................

    If you want a chance of surviving Armageddon you must listen carefully and appreciatively as the 8 year old child calling at your door on Saturday morning presents you with a magazine article on the dangers of paedophilia. The child is accompanied by their uncle (also an elder), who will later take them to a remote place (away from 2 witnesses), and molest the poor child..YET AGAIN!

    .....................also, JWs believe: "Minds must be cleansed" (Watchtower, June 1, 1953, p. 350 par. 24).

    Having said that, JWs don't know what to belive because all the New Light TM means that things change.

    So! To sum it up the average JW simply believes..........

    Obey the Governing Body or Jehovah will lovingly murder us SOON*

    *(Terms and conditions apply and are subject to 'overlapping' {which no one understands}or ‘New Light’™or which ever makes the GB look much higher than God!)

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