LOL sizemik....well said
Have you ever smoke rarely and finally quit smoking?
by Iamallcool 27 Replies latest jw friends
-
-
noni1974
I just want to say that I smoke cigarettes. I smoke cigarettes a lot and in public whenever I feel like it. I feel like it narrows down the idiots a lot. This thread is a case in point.
-
mummatron
You say she's gorgeous, but do you still think she's gorgeous with a cigarette against her lips, or is that the dealbreaker?
Is her personality NOT 'gorgeous'? Do you get on with her? Do you see yourself sat on a porch with a 70 year old has-been-beauty-queen who's lost her looks and has nothing of substance upstairs?...Or someone who you could chat with about anything and everything irrespective of how they may once have looked? My partner is not what I'd call 'gorgeous'. He is not really my 'type' in the looks department (he knows this and is OK with it). I was not in the slightest bit attracted to him physically when we met. I got to know him as a friend and the more time I spent with him, the more I realised how much of a good, kind, considerate, nonjudgemental person he is and how much I enjoyed his company, to the point where I realised I needed him in my life as my constant companion. Then I noticed the good parts about his physique and felt the spark of attraction. This guy is the one person I've been able to tell ALL my secrets to, I never tire of his company.
We have a saying in Britain "I wouldn't kick him/her out of bed for farting". Would you kick her out of bed for farting/smoking/burping/morning breath? If you would then I'd suggest quitting dating, 'cause POBODY'S NERFECT dude!
What more important? Dating someone who very occasionally (let's say for arguement's sake) smokes socially about 6-12 times a year on holidays, the occaional cigar after a meal or with the groom at a wedding reception? Or dating someone who doesn't smoke, but maybe smoked 40-a-day continuously for 10 years (which would moderately impact on health in the long-term) and quit?
If it's the smoke itself that bothers you more than anything above, perhaps she'd compromise with an e-cigarette? Better still, maybe you could compromise to just let her do it if she really feels she needs to so long as you don't have to passively inhale - there's such a thing as breathmints/mouthwash, Febreeze and deodorant!
-
Iamallcool
Mum, Let me respond to your first sentence, I have never seen her smoke with a cig yet. I did not smell smoke from her person at all. It really did surprise me when she admitted to me that she smokes RARELY.
-
Iamallcool
I am thinking about looking for somebody else that does not smoke at all.
-
mummatron
Well let me say, if I'd been picky and carried on looking for someone who met my every criteria - well educated, can drive and owns his own vehicle, 6 foot plus, no kids from previous relationships but would be open to having kids, etc etc, to name but a few - I'd still be looking AND would have totally dismissed my current partner who only met the last criterion and is such a good person and is so good for me that I basically don't deserve him sometimes. People also change without prompting. He was never gonna continue growing, but in the time we've been together he went and got an education, learned to drive & acquired vehicles, all of his own volition.
THINK ABOUT IT!
-
Iamallcool
I might give her a chance, but I do not know right now. I will think about it.
-
mummatron
Good lad!
Just a final thought from me as I really should get some sleep...
I wouldn't focus too much on her admitting that she occasionally smokes. Look at the bigger picture - she trusts you enough to confess such a thing to you, knowing full well that (a.) she'd said she was a non-smoker (which for the most part is true if you can only select smoker or non-smoker on those profiles, and as she didn't smell of smoke); (b.) She'd know by her telling you this that you might not accept her for it; (c.) she's just revealed a minor flaw very early on; but more importantaly, (d.) SHE WAS HONEST - surely that appeals to your JW cult-cultured way of thinking?!
Many people (JWs included!) hide social/occasional smoking from their partners for years. She told you on what was the 1st date.