So why did the organisation cause you anxiety or depression?

by TimothyT 25 Replies latest watchtower beliefs

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  TimothyT

  In regards to my other post regarding attending counselling as a JW, I was wondering what it was about being a JW that caused you to be anxious, stressed or depressed?

  For me, I knew that the person I wanted to be was constantly being supressed by the WT. There was a battle going on in my head between who I wanted to be and who they wanted me to be. It led to dreadful depression and eventualy to me accepting who I am and leaving. I have never felt happier and more alive! Also, I think that if you leave, then the threats from the platform that you have left the truth, have nowhere else to go, and will lose your family and friends, realy screw with people's minds.

  What about you?

  Timmy xxx
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  light_bulb

  For me it was never feeling good enough... not doing enough hours in the ministry, not making enough comments during the meeting, having too many notes when giving a part from the platform, working too many hours, doing something that would cause a backlash for dad and his position in the congregation.

  I agree that you do feel so much freer to be yourself once leaving the organisation, its so AMAZING!

  The threat of losing your family/friends and community when disfellowshipped is also enough to cause anxiety.... the reality of it even more so at times.
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  punkofnice

  I was sick of all the self serving control from the GB. I hated how there were comments thanking the GB for this and that as if they were gods.

  Common sense was often over ridden by pharisee rules and regulations.

  I hated the guilt trips. I hated not being able to just enjoy life without fear that I'd 'stumble' someone.

  I never felt as if my face could fit in the WBT$.

  I felt the whole experience wasn't 'spiritual' but cold, austere, stifling and devoid of real love.
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  Honesty

  Apparently, the Watchtower Society/JW's were bad association because my severe depression & suicidal moods abruptly disappeared within 6 months of me telling them all to go fornicate themselves.
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  designs

  After awhile, and particularly at Assemblies, you get tired of being talked to as a misbehaving adolescent, its insulting. The last Assembly I attended had GB David Splane as the flown in special speaker and for two lectures he gave he did nothing but berate descent caring people.

  As angry as I was about his whole approach it was the final turning point in which mentally I walked out focused and Free.
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  punkofnice

  When my Dad died I was glad I had the 'truth' because I had a hope of seeing him in 'paradise' with a pet panda.

  Now I know it's all complete sh1t and I should have done more for him in the living years.
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  trueblue

  Hearing my Mother crying all the time when I was very young... My Mother left my dad because he was abusing us children, she was my protector and the dumb a$$ whitlesses would not beleive her, they said they had to take the brothers word over the sister. My dad hired someone to kidnapp my sister, and another man that was hired to kidnapp my Mother came forward and told my Mother what was happening and told my Mother where my sister was and got my sister back. (I guess my dad did that so he could have the rights to remarry, according to WT standards) My dad kidnapped my sister and beat her so bad that My grandmother had to prop her up with pillows and the witlesses punished her also and put her out when she was in desperate need of support. (My sister wasn't even inn and she was only 13 years old for heaven's sake)

  That story only touches the surface of an iceberg, more than what the whitless basterd's could understand and no one else has the time to hear it. (Guess it better no one cares because if someone actually beleived the stories I could tell they would have PTSD under the worse case scenario just as I do) I scare the hell out of people because of it and it best that the whitlesses stay away from me, I would not mien to but I would hurt them real bad and not be able to live with myself... Weather it the trufth or not, it is impossible for me to do it with the whitlesses. I can forgive them for they not know what they are doing and I beleive there is a porpose for everything, what ever that is and I will just get back to the grind stone and wait for Jesus.

  Take Care...
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  trueblue

  OOp's can't talk about the so called God's people or you be bird food, HA! HA! HA!... F off JW's
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  trueblue

  mental scares are hard to detect but to say "can not beleive you because you a woman or can not beleive the neighbors because they worldly" but what about the physical evidnce like the scars on my pretty sisters legs?

  Dam JW's for killing my sister and my brother and seperating the rest of my familly...

  and the hatred you sense when they anounce someone DF'ed... is depressing. Where is the loving kindness, seems as though they should feel sorrow for someone leaving if they actually love them.
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  Mad Sweeney

  There is a near-constant state of cognitive dissonance, even for a relatively "happy" JW. That's got to be stressful, especially over time.