Shocked at what my 3 year old just asked me

by jwfacts 53 Replies latest jw experiences

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  Scully

  Do you really want your son's indoctrination sessions with his grandmother to become part of the WTS's annual statistics?

  I like the idea of introducing your son to the pantheon of gods. Roman, Greek, Hindu, Celtic, and so on.

  You and your wife do need to establish boundaries with your MIL. You don't have to be mean about it, just say that it is your responsibility to teach him about religion. Stress that you want her to enjoy her time with your son, rather than feel compelled to preach to him. Provide him with story books that you've screened to take with him to grandma's house, and the rule ought to be that stories are ones you've approved, and that he's selected, not ones that grandma picks.
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  Terry

  In 1974 I had moved to California from Texas and my nowhere JW janitor job to a real career in a field I loved.

  I had packed my JW wife and 3 kids in my 1970 Ford Maverick and drove into the unknown.

  Mind you, this was on the very eve of a very "IMPORTANT DATE IN HUMAN HISTORY". So many Jehovah's Witnesses

  have had this 1975 date blotted out of their mind, memory or notice I have to point it out afresh just in case you are ignorant:)

  At any rate...

  I quickly discovered a real life with real people while my JW wife settled down at the local Kingdom Hall and pursued the "final moments" of frantic

  preaching activity warning the unwary.

  Now just stop right here!

  Two worlds, two minds in the same household!

  In my wife's view of planet Earth the Doomsday clock was ticking down to Armageddon.

  In my own view everything was growing more wonderful every day!

  One day my wife cleverly ambushed me using my own firstborn 4 year old daughter, the apple of my eye.

  "Daddy, why don't you go to the Kingdom Hall anymore with me? Don't you love Jehovah?"

  Few people can understand how sharp the point of that dagger is when it enters your heart!

  I couldn't give an answer to my very bright child that would make any sense to her. I immediately relented. I went back to the Kingdom Hall

  for the next couple of years and dug in deeper than ever into renewing my study as never before.

  Now stop again right here!

  Here is what happened.

  1975 came and went. No Armageddon. No thousand year reign of Christ. The "important date in human history" was a no-show.

  The other shoe not only didn't drop; there wasn't one!

  In the meanwhile, my wife had (unknown to either of us) lost her faith!! Not in God, but, in Jehovah's Witnesses.

  I had a blaze of renewed scholarship and began to fade again. There was simply nothing PRACTICAL for me or my family in the same old meetings, parroted scripture phrases and the sound of the Dog that did NOT bark: 1975.

  BY NOT LEADING MY FAMILY but BY FOLLOWING SENTIMENT in listening to my own child---I WASTED another two years of my life.

  I should have been a family leader. But, my knees buckled.

  Please don't make the same mistake I did!

  Take a leadership position and confront the mythology, the nonsense and the INDOCTRINATION of your own children!

  Why?

  The years are slip sliding away that you CAN influence your own children.

  A man who does not provide for the members of his own household, the scripture tells us, is WORSE than a man without faith!

  What does "provide" imply other than giving what is needed?

  Telling the truth about the phoney "Truth" is what is needed.

  It takes a leader.

  Be one before it is too late.
• 

  N.drew

  I think it is well for children to believe that their opinion matters. If we shoot down "the truth" then they learn that there is an opinion that does not matter. There are loads of good children's books about faith and traditions. The important thing for parents to do is prove to the child that no matter what it is the child thinks, the parents still love and support him. It is OK to use some propaganda too, I think, as long as it is true. Books on holidays are good because you might ask the child if he thinks god will destroy this nice family (celebrating) just because they like Christmas, or whichever tradition it is. Keep emphasizing that love is the important thing. (So showing patience to the "believer" family member is important, thus the child learns respect.) Let your ACTIONS speak, how many people become philosophers? Not many.

  It will be easier to ward off indocrination with the Bible than without it. Just an opinion.
• 

  The-Borg

  I haven't posted on here for a while, but after seeing this I just wanted to make a comment.

  I have a 3 and a half year old and JW mother in law too.

  My wife and I both decided that we had to adopt a strict policy regarding indoctrination to protect our daughter.

  When she stays over with the mother in law on a saturday night, we make sure we pick her up before 10:00 am on the sunday as we don't want her exposed to the predatory preachers down the hall that we know. It only takes one hook or scary armageddon story to indoctrinate a child.

  We haven't come accross it yet, but if my mother in law tries any of that stuff on my daughter, she will be told in no uncertain terms where we stand and where she stands.

  I want to teach my child how to think not what to think, and I'm prepared to fight tooth and nail for that privalege.

  Might sound a little harsh but I believe it is important, I was brainwashed at 23 what chance does a 3 year old stand!

  All the best to you.
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  Scarred for life

  I would not let any JW relative of mine babysit my kids on a regular basis. Of course, she is trying to indoctrinate him. She feels that is her duty. The job of teaching your child about God and religious things is your and your wife's. Your son is old enough to begin understanding these things AND to be negatively influenced by the JW teachings.
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  ShadesofGrey

  We make sure that the grandparents only see the children while we are within ear shot. We are also teaching our 9 year old scriptures to combat what the JWs believe, especially the belief that we need to fear the Great Tribulation or Armageddon.

  Keeping in mind that you are unlikely to teach your children scriptures, I do like the idea of teaching your children various things about God so that what the MIL says is not the only view they get.

  Sisterly Love,

  SOG
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  NewChapter

  I just wanted to point out a little something regarding indoctrination vs education. My daughter is in her 20's now, but when she was little we never discussed racism in our house. It wasn't a part of my world and I really didn't want to bring such unpleasantness into my home. Then something happened when she was little, and I realized I had left her totally unprepared to handle racism. By being silent, I had given her no tools at all. So I sat down with her, and in terms appropriate to her, we discussed skin color, hair etc. She had friends of many backrounds so we talked about them. Then I asked her if she would ever not like her friend because her skin was darker. She said NO (racism is not natural). So I explained that some people in the world feel that skin color matters, and she knows it doesn't, so she doesn't have to believe them.

  I suppose one could argue that it was a bit of indoctrination---but I DID NOT want her to be carried away by hateful ideas because she was unprepared. I still left the choice up to her, but I'm pleased to say she has made that choice and does not tolerate racism.

  It's just something to think about. You don't have to tell your child what to believe, you just need to educate him on the ideas out there. Then simply ask where he stands on it. By expressing the idea, he will then have a guidepost with which to navigate--he nor you will be caught offguard, whatever the final decision.

  NC
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  mouthy

  I think I would have answered> "Well you know the book that your granny is talking about
  Jehovah .....says that we should ask JESUS!! to come into our hearts,because HE is the only
  WAY! TRUTH!!!!And HE is examining HEARTS!!! so all HE wants us to do is to be nice to people
  not to be cruel....So you just be kind to folks." ( But I would quit the babysitter she is planting seeds
  & they GROW over years until one has no independent thinking a VERY BAD THING>

  My 2 cents.MOUTHY
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  N.drew

  That's true NewChapter. A very good point made.

  I grew up in the suburbs where there were very few persons of color.

  There was a trip arranged by some teachers to Jamaica and I went ($300.00 all inclusive).

  I did not know I was racist*, but I was. Jamaica taught me otherwise!

  Thank you Jamaica.

  Everybody is wonderfully the same and the Jamaicans are especially friendly!

  *racist to me meant suspicion only because of differences

  Differences should be a blessing, the world turns differences into a curse. Bad world.
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  sabastious