If your mate remains in the org...

by Silent_Scream 20 Replies latest jw experiences

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  GLTirebiter

  As far as sinning, thats the only way she can move on and do EVERYTHING she wants to do. You know how that will hinder her unless she has legal and scriptural grounds for divorce

  Nothing obligates you to do something you don't want to do and believe is wrong, just to accommodate choices she wants to make. Her desire to be the wife of a "spiritually strong brother" does not obligate you to go "sinning" just to appease the Watchtower pharisees. Don't burden yourself with all the blame; she is reponsible for her share, and must accept the consequences that come with her own choices.

  Further comment and opinion...please decide for yourself if you want to use this approach! The Watchtower uses Matt 5:31-32 and Matt 19:9 to justify their rules. If she or the elders pressure you about "scriptural grounds", cite Mark 10:5-12 and Luke 16:18. These Gospels do not allow the Watchtower's interpretation. Matthew's Gospel uses the Greek word "porneia"--which sometimes means "fornication" or "adultery", but also can be other forms of immorality (such as "incest"). Some translators word this so that Jesus does not advocate that one wrong (adultery) justifies another (divorce), by translating "porneia" as "illicit marriage" or "the marriage is unlawful" in this context. In other words, divorce is allowed only when the marriage itself constitutes an immoral act, so that divorce would rectify the sin--not compound it.
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  Mickey mouse

  I was the first to wake up in our marriage. The hardest thing is exercising patience. When you are in control of your own mental exit, you can pace things so they are as comfortable as possible, that's hard to gauge with a partner.
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  Silent_Scream

  I can certainly appreciate the comments made. I never wanted to even entertain the thought of infidelity.

  As far as bethel, we live in a bethel area (as in when i go to lunch from work, i always see bethelites at the resteraunts.) So they are in our cong. We get a new bro/couple every month as temps and they end up getting extended to about a year. And we have some higher ups n our hall also, and they keep asking us to put ur apps in even to commute, especially given my skills. So she's very optimistic about it. They are downsizing in general, but they need a LOT of work done, with no room for workers.

  She does not want a divorce at all(me neither), she wants me to to "stick with Jehovah". But i know we will start to seriously clash over this soon...
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  ziddina

  Urk... I didn't realize that you were in Bethel's backyard, so to speak...

  That makes things much more difficult.

  It would be wonderful if you could manage to move out of the area, if possible.

  Do you have any elderly relatives? Ones that might need your 'help', as they age...??

  If you could just get your wife and yourself out of the area, that would remove a LOT of the pressure. The only problem would be justifying it to your wife.

  Is your mother still a Jehovah's Witness? Does SHE live in a different area - better yet, a different state??

  Moving would help break the ties that strangle....

  Zid
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  Silent_Scream

  I have family away from here. All witnesses. Literally, the only fam not witnesses are the ones in the hood. And like they say "I AINT GOIN' BACK!" Moving is one of our options, but we cant for a while, maybe a year.
• 

  Ding

  Mad Sweeney makes some great points.

  If you attack the WTS, a JW will defend it and not even look at "apostate literature" (including old WT publications).

  If you ask a JW to do research to convince you, they are more likely to look at what the WT has said and see some of the same issues you have.

  Give it time. Not everyone sees the same things at the same rate.
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  ziddina

  Y'know, I've been thinking about this, and it's possible that we're looking at it all wrong...

  As several ex-Bethelites on-board have shared with us, it's the atmosphere in Bethel that convinced them that it WASN'T the "truth"...

  Perhaps ending up in Bethel would be the fastest, most effective way to wake your wife up - hopefully she'll end up with the same supervisor that "Life is to short" had - try looking her up in the "members" section and read a few of her Bethel experiences...

  That's another way to look at it... That is, if your sanity could stand being at Bethel for any period of time...

  Oh, and DON'T go to Bethel until you've saved up enough money to ESCAPE Bethel - and DON'T tell your wife about the money, or it could end up donated to the Watchtower Corporation...

  Zid
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  oppostate

  I like what Ziddina recommended. And if higher ups in you Congo are recommending you to turn in Bethel applications then you've got two good reasons to become the latest mole in the Borganization, deep in the cube, I mean the Watchtower.

  Then, once in, start partaking, 1 John 5:1, you're a child of God. Besides didn't Jesus say for his followers to keep doing the memorial until he arrived? Well, he didn't make it in 1874 as Russell said nor in 1914 as Rutherford said, so keep that in mind as you partake of the emblems.

  And set goals for yourself. Who knows... you might be a Governing Body mole one of these days. Then do all you can to clean up house, and remember your roots, don't let it go to your head. Remember that power corrupts...
  
• 

  Anony Mous

  One thing you could do is apply for whatever position you want to go, get accepted and then as publically as possible show them where it says the appointment is made by Holy Spirit (see the bookstudy book) and say "but I haven't believed all this time, I don't believe in God or the Witnesses, how is this possible".

  I did it and they haven't disfellowshipped me for that reason exactly (they can't justify DF'ing someone who they were just grooming to be a leader) and still didn't get an answer as to why I was "chosen" and "approved" when I clearly didn't agree with it anymore.

  Becoming a mole is harder than it seems (trust me, I've released a lot of documents recently and most of them I gained access to while I was actively dissenting) it destroys your personality. Either way, they are not going to change their mind even if you put their noses right in their own mistakes. They'll make excuses and try to convince themselves that it doesn't matter.

  My spouse told me: why do you keep asking those questions, just stop questioning it and accept it. That is the mindset that is being thought - blind obedience to a human organization. They are soldiers and are being told that if you question or attack the organization's position you are personally offending them. If they don't want to see, you can't help them. As I said, if you want your relationship to be honest just tell her and ask her what she wants, can she live with someone like you or not.
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  outsmartthesystem

  Agreed. Don't cheat on her. She doesn't deserve that. And you're better than that. Besides...if you do....she'll be hurt. She will find comfort from her "friends" at the KH. And it will ingrain in them the belief that all people that choose to leave the organization do so because they are sick and demented apostates that can't control their sexual impulses. You'd be feeding their theory