"There will be 0% Unemployment in Paradise"

by Sour Grapes 30 Replies latest watchtower beliefs

  • Sour Grapes
    Sour Grapes

    Last week the elder giving the public talk mentioned that in

    the USA we have 9.1% unemployment but under God's Kingdom

    in Paradise there will be 0% unemployment. Of course all of

    the Watchtower Robots in the Hall nodded in agreement. If

    it was a Baptist church there would have been a loud "amen

    brother."

    For a week I have been thinking about his statement and my

    brain is beginning to bleed.

    Lets say that we are in Paradise and I am a carpenter that builds

    houses, any you need a house built and you raise cows, how many

    cows will you pay me to build your house? Is a new house

    worth 20 cows? If you pay me 20 cows to build your house,

    how many cows to you pay the brother who cut down the

    trees used for your new house, or how many cows do you

    pay the brother who runs the saw mill, or the brother that

    carries the cut wood from the sawmill by horse drawn carriage

    to the building site?

    How many cows do you pay the guy who puts shingles on

    your roof or how many cows do you pay the brother who

    makes the candles to light up your house, or how about

    the brother to drills the well for your water or the mason

    that builds 4 fireplaces in your home? I don't think

    that you will have enough cows to cover the costs.

    Perhaps in Paradise we will not use the barter system.

    Maybe the WTBTS will make Kingdom Koins and every

    Great Tribulation survivor gets 1,000 Kingdom Koins a month.

    Who sets the Kingdom Koin value for a new house or

    for a cow? If you want a new house that cost 20,000 Kingdom

    Koins and you have only saved up 5,000 Kingdom Koins, where

    do you live until you have another 15,000 Kingdom Koins?

    Will there be a New Order Kingdom Koin Bank, where you can

    borrow the remaining 15,000 Kingdom Koins. I guess that

    the WTBTS would be in charge of the Bank since they are supplying

    the coins. They will stop printing magazine and start making

    coin press machines.

    I could gone on and on but I am now looking forward so

    much to 0% unemployment.

    Sour Grapes.

  • bohm
    bohm

    That is why there will be 144000 annointed guys, a gazillion angels, jesus and jehovah himself to help you sort out these things!

    It will be great!

    everything gets better when we die!

  • dgp
    dgp

    Don't worry about such matters. Jehovah will also be in charge of public utilities, so every once in a while he will give Noo Lites about everything. Besides, are you avoiding independent thinking? Have you been doing enough field service? Are you sure you're enjoying life everlasting? Have you put your friendship with Jehovah at risk by talking to any worldlies, for example? Brother, what will you do when Armageddon comes? Are you sure you give every sign of Christian love?

  • Twitch
    Twitch

    Well, there'll be plenty of graves to dig and funeral pyres to light, for starters...

  • charlie brown jr.
    charlie brown jr.

    If I have it right it could be..............

    Build me a House and you can have my 17 yr old Virgin Daughter for your 5th wife....

    oh wait No Sex in the New Sucktem!

  • Twitch
    Twitch
    Build me a House and you can have my 17 yr old Virgin Daughter for your 5th wife....

    I'll have it done in 7 years...

    Do you have any other daughters?

    How 'bout a stable for your horse and buggy?

  • blondie
    blondie

    There will be sex/marriage in the new system per the WTS. It is just people who died and had to be resurrected that won't marry/sex. So that just leaves those that survive the GT. You can see why jws today might be a little pissed dying in this system. Their sex life is over.

    I remember a study article that showed the Israelite patriarchs inside their tents, conversing with the other men, drinking tea while the women and the children were busily working. Many a jw brother joked about that, how they would be working hard talking in the tents. It was a slap at the sisters.

    I always enjoyed this story about life after Armageddon.

    http://www.1timothy4-13.com/files/bible/diary.html

    DAY 2

    Brother Thorn called a special meeting this morning. He announced that he and the other elders would now be assuming full authority over our new community until contact was reestablished with headquarters. All decisions regarding community regulations, living arrangements, work assignments, and other matters would be at the sole discretion of the elders.

    Sam Greene objected to this dictatorial policy until Thorn pulled out a letter from the Society dated several months ago which stated that, after Armageddon, the local body of elders would be responsible for all decisions until otherwise directed by the Society. Sam voiced no further objections. The rest of us also accepted the new arrangement.

    The first new rule was not long in coming - all brothers and sisters were required to report to the Kingdom Hall at 8:00 every morning to receive work assignments and other instructions.

    DAY 3

    Brother Thorn has assigned me lo the burial detail. It seems that most of us single brothers have been assigned this unpleasant duty. The dead bodies are already starting to get to me. It sickens me to watch the birds and other animals scavenge the corpses. I actually saw a raven pluck out an eyeball today. Disgusting! Rob Johnson got a bulldozer running and has begun to dig a large common grave. My job is to go around collecting bodies and load them into the back of a pickup truck.

  • Twitch
    Twitch

    Blondie,

    Yea, that "diary" is brilliant. The end is especially good :)

  • charlie brown jr.
    charlie brown jr.

    Question?????

    After Armageddon and Dick head Brother Thorn tells CBJ.(I Survived I know I can hardly believe it) to work on the Grave digging Work Force...

    What if I say ....Thorn Stick this Detail where the sun don't shine..........

    Wouldn't it take 1000 years for me to be punished?????

  • jaguarbass
    jaguarbass

    In my idea of paradise nobody works, everyone hangs out and has fun.

    When that gets boring, you reincarnate and come back to earth or a place like earth and become a spirit in a material world.

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