It is very dissapointing to me and surprising that many claim they faked their fs reports.
I am going through so many conflicting feelings and ideas- I don't know who to believe.
I find out about wrongdoing on the part of the wts (the UN/NGO thing), the failed prophesies, the ridiculous nonsense that Russell and Rutherford taught (I had never been interested in much about what was taught back then while I was a witness), And realize, well, the truth about the truth. Still, I have doubts-both ways. I had doubts as a witness, and I have doubts now.
I discovered jwn and found many who had similar discouraging experiences in the cong as I had. I felt many who post here spoke from firsthand experience and I appreciate much of the info I have discovered from people posting on this website.
But in this thread and in others I keep reading about how people were dishonest even while they were witnesses, some being pioneers and elders, bethelites and cong secretary. And I wonder-how honest are these people? If they saw nothing wrong with lying while they were witnesses, how honest would they be now?
My brother cut off contact with me a year ago July. Do you know why? Because I don't return to the kh and I come to this forum. I tried sharing info I disvovered on this forum with him. result: He said I am "the mouthpiece of satan" and now he won't listen to anything I say.
He had told me in past conversations that "apostates" are dishonest and lie about the witnesses and pretend to be elders, pioneers etc.
Now I am wondering? Is there some truth in what he says? I do not know anyone personally on this site. I have been accepting what people say about themselves-why would they lie? What would be the point?
But if you lied WHILE you were one of Jehovah's Witnesses, and justify it, how can I know you are not lying in your posts just to push people away from the witnesses?
It is really discouraging me. I'm trying to be objective and balenced, but now I question the motives of many posters. Do they have a personal vendetta against the wts and would say anything to paint the wts in a bad light? Who should I believe?
Am I alone in feeling this way?. No one else seems bothered by the dishonesty. Jehovah's Witnesses are taught to be honest in ALL things. I am far from perfect but I really tried to be 100% honest and tried to be as accurate as possible in my fs reports. Now I'm being told I was in the miinority? That does not sound right!
And anyway" about the fs hours published as 1.5 billion. Even if its just half that-its a lot of time preaching!