Every pm I have ever received has confirmed how happy the individual was to walk away from the evil cesspool of the WT.
There are obviously many members of JWN who are NOT totally happy about the circumstances they find themselves in after leaving the bOrg. Obviously, loss of association with family and friends is the ONE major complaint. Another might be about "lost time" one spent slaving in the Truth (TM) . Anyone who chooses to formally DA likely knows that this will be one of the inevitable results of making that decision. Anyone who is DFd suffers that as well, though not by choice. And it seems that some "Faders" or some who just "go inactive" are feeling some shunning as well, but I think most do not.
IF all of your family and most of your close friends are all active JWs, then I can see the reasonableness of staying in for the benefit of association with those family and friends...........as long as your choice in lifestyle has no great conflict with JW principles. (Otherwise you're gonna get DFd anyway unless you keep it all on the downlow.) Many people seem to be able to "keep one foot in the door" at the KH and derive the benefits they desire from remaining associated, while (pret;ty much) just ignoring the things that they don't like.
For example, choosing to go to college or to support your kids choice to go to college. You might not be able to be an Elder/MS/Pioneer, but you can still make that decision without much ostricizing. LOTS of JW kids in our area are going to college. Nursing. Teaching. Accounting. At least one I know pursuing a doctorate in her career path. Many of the parents still have their positions. The WTS view of higher education was the single largest complaint in Cedars' poll.
Doctrinally, you can believe or ignore whatever you want. Don't want to go D2D? Stay a low hour pub and fake it like most pioneers fake most of their hours. Don't believe the "overlap" crap? Then don't believe it. Don't believe the HS Direction BS? Then don't believe it. JUST DON'T TALK ABOUT IT. Smile at the occasional meeting. Get the obligatory 2-4 hours. Enjoy the social opportunities (although I admit I about gag listening to some of the propaganda crap anymore). But it's easy to stay with the other "fringe" people (who are likely just "keeping one foot in the door" just like you).
Only if you hit the BLOOD issue or something like that head on do you face a major Crisis of Conscience (to borrow that famous phrase). Excepting that, I wonder if some are not enjoying the benefits while ignoring the obligations/drudgery that they don't like.
If you were DFd, you didn't make a choice. If you DA, it may have been the path of least resistance, if "they were onto you" and DFing was looming anyway.
BUT if you were getting by covertly, staying on the downlow, and chose to DA anyway.....Do you regret that decision?
LURKERS: If you're still a "FADER"...........are you able to happily live the "double life" and (as they would say in AA) "take what you want and leave the rest" thereby maintaining connections with family & friends, but without any real harmful consequences to you personally?
DOC