I've posted on here a few times under the screen name of Sahara but had to change it, long story... Anyway I've posted some of my story being married to a JW for twenty years with four children, none of whom are JW's or are studying to be one. I've stated on my other posts that I've done lots of research on JW's and Watchtower History, I don't think there is anything about the history and tactics of JWs that I haven't personally come across or studied, though I could be wrong. People who are not intimately familiar with JW beliefs and practices seem to view them as strange simply because they don't celebrate holidays or salute the flag etc, but those of us who are more familiar with them know that there is far more than meets the eyes of casual observers. Not all evil and bad just... well mostly yes, but I understand they believe they do what they do to please "Jehovah". I struggle still to give them a pass on this but, well I do...
Being married to a JW for as long as I have, there have been many land mines I've had to manuver through in just keeping my family in tact while trying to hedge all the JW stuff. As a "never been a JW" I will never ever pretend to understand exactly what you all have gone through in fading. being disfellowshiped, disassociated and shunned by your family. In fact, just reading some of your stories has opened my eyes to how JW's really think and have had to re-interpret some of my experiences in the past with my wife and her JW family which shead light on things that use to confuse me. I must say though that it's not that much easier for some one in my position the last few years who has to deal with the "real world" and all that it means to deal with the "real world" while trying to raise a family with someone I love very much but who has allowed a monster into our home who has convinced her that nothing else matters but studying sales techniques and manipulating people into accepting a belief system that will eventually force them to give up their free will and individuality without them realizing that this is what happend. Fighting that monster has become more than a 12 round slug fest taking body blows and hooks from different directions while never really throwing many of my own. Biting my lip and strapping my tounge to the roof of my mouth to keep the peace has been more than draining. I fear I have reached the last knots in my rope which has provided rest while lowering myself down a cliff and I'm woundering now if it's time to jump and take my chances.
But for now I'd like to as you why would my wife dress up as a Fairy for Holloween and go with me to a Holloween party? Why would she go with me to every celebration that she's suppose to abstain from even when I tell her it's ok if she doesn't? Why does she attend meetings only once every three months? Why does she talk about going back to college? Why does she allow her Non-JW family to take her out to dinner for her Birthday where the waiters sing for her and give her a cake with candles when she must have known this would happen? Why would she talk about future celebrations like Birthday Parties for our kids and my relatives and help plan them? Why would she be in my Nieces Quinceniera ceremony presided over by a Catholic Priest and neil down in front of an alter?
Why would she do these things if in fact she wants to be a JW? Then she tries to drag my daugher to meetings and my oldest son to assemblies.
WTF is all I can say to myself cuz I just dont know anymore...