So as I stated in my first post, I was born to Witness parents. From early on, my parents were both quite fanatical about the "truth." We couldn't even eat Lucky Charms cereal because they thought it had Satanic connections. So dumb right? The thing that still eats at me to this day is the fact that my dad thought the appropriate way to discipline us was to beat the crap out of us. And let me tell you, he did that on an almost daily basis. He even went so far as to punch my mom in the face, which broke her jaw. He would beat us with all sorts of things...books, leather belts, his hands, broomsticks, anything that was within reach whenever he got ready to snap. I had to wear pants to school even when it was hot because my legs were almost always covered in severe bruises. My brothers didn't fare any better. My mom is severely mentally unstable, but refuses to get help and has always been that way. She blamed us kids for everything bad that happened. I even remember her telling me (when she was upset with me) that she could understand why people got abortions. I still have horrible flashbacks and nightmares from the beatings and sexual abuse. All the while that this was happening, my dad was being used in the congregation and at the assemblies. I remember one particular occasion when he beat me severely when I was already dressed for the meeting. Afterwards I had to straighten my hair and dress and go to the meeting like nothing had even happened. He's still being used in the congregation now. People absolutely think he is a saint. The hypocrisy in that situation seems boundless. After assemblies things would spike as far as the fanaticism goes. During the summers on our school breaks, I was made to stay in the house all day, everyday, not even going outside to check the mail. My parents were working, and if I dared to leave the house for a breath of fresh air, it was hell to pay. One of my brothers was addicted to drugs and alcohol at the time and he tortured me routinely. He would beat me in the face for any little "offense." I wanted to use his CD player once and he beat me in the face, so I couldn't go to school because of the bruises. We had a chain-link fence in our back yard and one day when I was outside (a rarity) he walked up to me and demanded that I go inside. When I resisted, he grabbed me by the back of the head and slammed my face into the spikes of the fence. I made the mistake of opening my mouth to scream when he grabbed my head, so when he slammed me onto the spike, it pierced through the roof of my mouth. I remember every day and night praying so fervently for the abuse to stop, so fervently that I would become physically ill. I studied for every single meeting, even making arrangements for someone to pick me up when my parents missed the meeting because I wanted to do the right thing. At one point, my mom accused me of conspiring with the members of the congregation to make them look like bad parents. Anyway, the abuse continued for years, all the while I prayed and stayed faithful and really thought I was serving Jehovah. Obviously, the thing that stood out the most to me was how in the world Jehovah's spirit wasn't revealing my parents' abusive behavior to the elders so that something could be done. Fast forward a bit, my husband and I married when I was 18 and we were the ideal Witness couple. Ministerial servant, giving public talks, assembly interviews, the whole thing. The elders constantly told my husband that he was putting in enough field service time and they always threatened to remove him as a Ministerial Servant. My husband worked full time and was completely exhausted by the weekend, but we went out in service without fail every single Saturday and sometimes on Sunday, please going on calls and studies after work. But yet, he didn't have a number that the elders thought would look good to the CO, so they harassed him and totally killed his spirit. We actually started slacking off just out of discouragement. He stepped down as a MS, but soon after we started missing meetings, we gave voice to our doubts to each other, we're still exploring them, but we know it's not the truth, and we have never felt more content and happy. It's like we're finally starting to live and appreciate people for who they are instead of what religion they are. We have genuine friends now, true friends who don't put conditions on their love. Thank goodness for that, because I believe they've saved our lives. We now have the most awesome little boy who is now 16 months old, and he has a wonderful life already, being able to do things that kids SHOULD be able to do!!! :) Life is good, even with the Witness-family backlash, but this is our life and we are determined that we will be happy, even if Witnesses don't like it.
My story in more detail
by freshstart 26 Replies latest jw experiences
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freshstart
I meant to say the elders told him he was NOT putting in enough field service time
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Found Sheep
Freshstart!!! So glad you got out of that abuse!!! You really do have a new freshstart in life and I'm so glad you and your family are enjoying it!!
Welcome!
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cantleave
Shocking story. I glad you are out of the crap now.
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Witness 007
Hope you find happiness that you both deserve.
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clarity
Kinda tearing up, reading that {{{freshstart}}}
The violence toward children, especially in the name of god, truly is sickening.
The sad part is that kids think it's all their fault, that somehow they deserve it.
I hope you and your hubby continue wiping this insanity out of your hearts & minds and become truly FREE!
clarity
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mummatron
Thanks for feeling brave enough to share that with us. Hope it wasn't too tough typing it up and clicking 'submit'. Sadly there are many of us here who can relate to much of what you went through, but the good thing is that there's always someone here who can support you.
So very glad you found the strength to leave.
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Adiva
Thank you for sharing. I'm so glad you and your hubby found the strength to leave. And congrats on the little one. What a lovely life he will have free of the influences of the 'troof'.
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outsmartthesystem
Thank you for sharing. Even with the hell you went through....at least you have your husband and child WITH YOU now....and OUTSIDE of this terrible cult
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freshstart
Thanks everyone. It's definitely a struggle sometimes to let go of the anger and resentment. Not that I'm mad at all Witnesses, because I'm certainly not. There are many of them that I still care about deeply and for whom I would literally give my life. I am angry about being taught lies and half-truths and being abused by people who were supposed to do everything they can to protect me. But I can't change the past, so I'm determined to embrace the present.