by freshstart 26 Replies latest jw experiences
Thank you for sharing (((((((((freshstart))))))))! If I had a family like yours and the experiences that you had as a JW, I wouldn't ever look back and want to be a JW. I hope and pray that you and your husband and child spend many happy hours together.
Peace be with you and everyone, who you love,
Robert
Freshstart ... as I read your post I see familiar situations, pain and tears ... I am in awe of you and I am happy for the courage you have to put your life out there ... I don't know you personally but I love you and feel tremendous joy that you are a SURVIVOR and not a victim anymore. One thing I learned from a therapist is that IT IS OKAY to talk, it is okay to call your parents MONSTERS, it is okay to feel anger, resentment, it is okay to bring all your bad memories of abuse to the front of your brain to be processed, to deal with it and to finally HEAL and be able to claim your life and live it to the fullest in happiness and peace.
As children we think it is a gross thing to talk about our parents ... but just because a human being is a parent it does not grant him special rights to abuse children or have special treatment for their actions, and they should be labeled as everybody else ... abusers, rapists, thieves, liars, criminals, then it is up to us to reclaim our sanity and forgive four our own sake, initiate some dialogue with them and set new terms in the parent/child relationship, if possible. My children are 13 and 14 know and they were very little when I told them that if I ever abuse them in any way that they needed to tell their dad, the authorities, or tell a teacher because as a parent I didn't have the right to hurt them. I did this to protect them from me in the event I snap one day due to the abuse I have experienced in the past, although I promised myself that I was going to treat my children way different than the way my parents treated me. One of my fears to this day is that my kids may one day look to the past and be hurt because of me. So far so good and I have awesome, wholesome, happy children, that know that God and mom love them no matter what.
You are in the right path, "But I can't change the past, so I'm determined to embrace the present." Thanks God for TODAY ... Thanks God for you!!!
Bella15: You and I are kindred spirits. I've been in therapy for a little over 2 years now and it has definitely been a bumpy ride, having to let all the pain and hurt wash over me in order to move forward. When I started seeing my therapist (at my husband's insistance - he knew I needed some professional guidance) I was at the point of suicide. At our first appointment, my husband had to come with me and do the talking for me because I was so low at that point that I could barely say 2 words to anyone. I've definitely come a long way, but the scars remain and I'm sure they always will. I desperately hope to one day experience the love from God and for God that other people have felt. But my husband and son and I are very lucky in my opinion, because not all are able to make it out on time, if at all.
Bella15, I sent you a PM
WELCOME to the board!!
Reading your story - WOW...!!
And I thought MY childhood was bad.... Talk about solitary confinement!!
I received beatings, being hit, kicked and slapped while growing up, too - but at least they didn't attempt to restrict me to the house... My dad knocked me unconscious when I was 17 years old...
And everyone at the kingdum hall thought MY dad was such a great guy, too....
"We couldn't even eat Lucky Charms cereal because they thought it had Satanic connections..."
Well, they will rot your teeth if you eat too much of them...
Thank you very much for sharing your story - I think that your courage will help other young people to escape the tentacles of cultish thinking - and abusive famlies/relationships...
Zid
Wow. You know, I almost became a JW (I was thinking about it very seriously at one time) but after coming to this site and reading these stories, It's just sickening to me. How awful. I thought JW's were saints but I see now that they are just like everyone else in the world; their are good ones and bad ones and horrific ones. :(
So sorry that happened to you.
Fresh Start,
It is so nice to have you. I am so sorry for your terrible life.
Funny thing, is that the Jehovah's Witnesses are very proud that they do not go to war or even allow their kids to play with guns or soldiers. They state that they abhore violence and Jesus taught them to 'turn the other cheek." If a JW were join the Armed Services, they would be disfellowshipped.
Yet, when it comes to family violence, the elders consider it a "personal matter." Elders do not really intervene to stop the situation.
One day, I had my say with an abusive father. He was sitting at my table and we were discussing world events. He brought up so proudly about the JWs, war, and his own dodging a draft. So, I agreed with him that it was all very admirable. He was so proud. Then, I said to the effect, "Yes, it's a shame the Jehovah's Witnesses don't also find family violence disgusting. Isn't it more wrong to beat your own family?" His old face turned white and his eyes sunk. He had to leave the room. I found my peace. If he died tomorrow, I got it off my chest that afternoon.
Skeeter
You should kill your brother for doing that.
And hang your parents.
At one point, my mom accused me of conspiring with the members of the congregation to make them look like bad parents.
Exactly! My mom was messed up too, and it was her that beat the crap out of me. She is still used in her congregation too and most people adore her. But yeah, whenever my sister and I would get rides from the "friends" because my mother was having a fit or whatever, when we got home she'd grill us trying to figure out if we "told" on her or talked about her to anyone. She'd grab us by our collars and shake us and was sure we were trying to make her look bad.
Anyway, I just wanted to say I totally hear you on that kind of childhood. I think there's more of us out there than the org. chooses to admit. =/ *hugs*
So sorry to hear of your ordeal....so glad to hear you are in counseling because what you described to us here is something that will take sheer determination to put behind you. You must be a strong person to have endured all that and still have come away from it as well as you have. You are to be congratulated! All the best to you and your little family....keep the little guy away from your brother and the grandparents, never leave him unattended around them. My guess is they are still capable of repeating their previous offenses against you.
