Do You Miss Even A Little Bit Your "Friends" From The "Truth"?

by minimus 43 Replies latest jw friends

• 

  JeffT

  I can think of a few from our first congregation, we were there 1973-1982. None since then.

  Of the original group there was quite a group about our age (God, I almost said "younger people" --which was true 40 years ago). The elder who married us was a decent guy, last I heard he was still in, I don't know how he stood it. One of the guys I really liked turned up on the news here, involved in the possible murder of his wife (I posted about it). I still can't imagine what happened to him.

  I can't say that I "miss" them because I've moved on. I'd like to see them and swap stories, but they won't want to here mine.

  I can't imagine what its been like to plan your life for something that has never happened.
• 

  Dagney

  I really don't think so. Getting over the reality of the loss was so traumatic, I think, my feelings now are sort of "dead." I wonder about it from time to time...

  But...I do miss the full social life. And I miss having people that shared history and years of experiences together...there isn't anything quite like old friends talking about old times. But then again...they aren't real friends...I know. I really do know that.

  The truth is what Sir82 said, what brought us together originally is gone. I've been around JW's a bit this year, and when you have worked hard to be a successful exJW, you really have little in common anymore. They usually don't read books about anything mind expanding, they are not interested in the LEAST as to what is going on in the world, next door, their community, the future, the past, history, science....ANYTHING!!! It is so wierd now; it just stands out like a sore thumb.

  So now it has been more rewarding to meet new ex JW's. No matter where they are from, we share that same experience of leaving everything we knew, and it bonds us. It's blast now because we are free to talk about whatever, do whatever...

  So no. No I don't. I just told my still JW gf, "that chapter is closed. I had fun. I've moved on. There are other people in my life now," when she asked if I wanted to see any of my former old friends.
• 

  NVR2L8

  When I suddenly stopped going to the meetings none of my so-called friends came over or even called the house to find out what was going on. They all told my wife to say "hi" or "we miss you", but that was all. Then a year later 2 elders whom I was good friends with came for their official visit, bible in hand but I told them to leave me alone. When I moved to a new home some of the friends I did favours to came to help because my wife and unbaptized son asked them. To thank them we had a house warming party 2 weeks ago and they came...I got to see my former "best friend" for the first time in 16 months. They talked about JW things, how great was this new elder....blablablabla....some watched the hockey game and left without engaging with me. I now realize that the WT chose my friends for me...and I even replaced my own family with strangers that were more "worthy" of my friendship because they believed the same bullshit I did. Now I miss not knowing all my cousins and uncles, even my own brother who never became a JW. Today I want to have as little to do with any JW as possible because there are always ulterior motives to their actions.
• 

  N.drew

  " there are always ulterior motives to their actions. "

  Yes, I think that is not far from the truth. I'm sorry. Friends are hard to come by. Work, family, and technology get in the way of time for making friends. I was a JW for 18 years. I was not born in. I met some very nice people, but very few friends. I moved far away and even when I was IN I had little contact with the friends in the cong that I left. I did not make any friends in the last cong I went to. So leaving (it's been 1 1/2 years) did not change my life much.

  I was the only JW in my extended family. I know friends are rare for most people IN and OUT. Before I was a JW I didn't have any friends. (I was in my 30s.) My only friend now, is a family member. And even so, we had a drunken fight (I kid you not). The skills I learned being a witness I used to apologize (she didn't) and to tell the truth, anyone would tell that she hurt me worse than I hurt her. (she was never a witless).

  So...anyway, to stray a little from the topic, I think I have good reason to believe in my "imaginary" friend JC.

  God bless you all for wanting and needing friends!