4 Suicides I Am Aware Of This Year, Why Elders, COs Are Not Competent To Handle These Matters. (Life Or Death, Your Choice!) (page 2)

glueman

I suffer from major depressive disorder, PTSD and a couple other things and the organization did nothing but harm me, mentally speaking. Well I guess to be completely honest there was a mag article on PTSD that helped me to get properly diagnosed.

The org couldn't help in any way. Mental illness is misunderstood by the majority of mankind, even more so within the organization. Regretfully there is still a stigma attached.

I tried and tried to get peace and happiness within the confines but always falling short and never feeling adequate by any means. I attempted suicide twice while being a JW (once while serving as an elder). I believe that they did care and were concerned about me, but their training is simply insufficient and they should recognize this inadequacy. Holy spirit should be able to help anyone with anything, bah humbug. I can't tell you how many times I was quoted 1Pet 5:9 and told that somewhere in the world someone was just like me and are "accomplishing" better results. How cruel to to leave the impression that I'm not succeeding or doing good enough.

And when I expressed that I was going to get "outside" help, there wasn't anyone who said that was a good thing and it was a wise choice, but rather that I should be very careful about it because of the potential for the influence of Satan and the bad influence of wordly thinking.

"Shepherding visits" consisted of "encouragement" to "throw anxiety", live day to day, oh and the solution is Bible reading, meeting attendance, prayer and the ministry.

When someone who is clinically mentally ill, those recommendations imply, once again, you are not doing enough or good enough.

I loved the post that compared it to a physical ailments. Would you tell a cancer patient that they can be helped by their over simplified so-called solutions?

Sickening (no pun intended).

It was only after I found a good individual therapist, a great group of men in group therapy, psychotropic medications and 12-step programs that I could see the light of day, albeit somewhat cloudy.

It was only in these situations that I learned that not everybody is so judgmental and began learning how not to judge myself.

Thanks for reading.

glueman

I forgot to mention that my heart goes out to all who have similar circumstances and for those who have been deeply hurt by someone losing the battle over suicidal ideations.

Peace and Love

Bella15

Of course they are not competent ... sorry but in the USA hispanic community for example most Elders are dish washers, janitors, construction workers, mechanics, cooks, "yarderos" meaning gardeners, and come from poor towns in their countries, uneducated families, they are not even street smart since they come from the mountains - trust me I know I have even seen lots of JWs dancing like natives (totally pagan LOL) - anyway, these people donot have the professional, medical, background to recognize mental illness among the flock ... c'mon in our society we even have professionals called"Veterinarians" to take care of farm animals - it seems they get better treatment that a poor sick JW sheep :(

I don't know your experience, but most of the churches I have visited here in Houston the pastor has a college degree, some are psychologist, and have continued education classes and seminars, conferences throughtout the year. After meeting an awesome pastor last week I really really would love to go to a college of biblical studies to obtain a degree as counselor. I was wowed after listening to him talking to married couples, I wanted to cry because so many JWs don't get to listen to a Christian professional give advice on specific subjects. For example I know that my mom and my sisters the only advice they received from Elders when fretting about their husbands was this one ... Wives, submit to your husbands, as is fitting in the Lord. OR "... each man should have sexual relations with his own wife, and each woman with her own husband. 3 The husband should fulfill his marital duty to his wife, and likewise the wife to her husband. 4 The wife does not have authority over her own body but yields it to her husband - ALL with emphasis on that no matter what the WIFE HAS TO PUT UP - which results in the wife feeling RAPED by her own husband - this is another serious thing going on among hispanic JW wives, a silent killer!

I plan to dedicate a period of fasting and praying for all JWs suffering under that Corporation ...

yourmomma

crazy, just as a read this, i found out this morning a young boy in his mid twenties in my old hall killed himself last night. that makes the 5th suicide from my old hall that i know of. wow.

Quarterback

Wow, this is so sad. The last thing a person who is suffering a form of mental illness needs to hear about is that they need to attend more meetings, do more FS, pray more. The message that gives to someone is you are not meeting Jehovah, the organization, or your brothers and sisters expectations, People care alot about how they are accepted by others. When they get the message that their plight is caused by not doing enough, they feel like failures, and it just goes downhill from there. I am no phychiatrist, but I have a few friends that are touched by this.

I think that the elders are in over their heads with this. The ORG is to blame for this They always want to give the impression that they can fix everything. Unfortunately, they missunderstand their limits.

Quendi

I want to express my appreciation to all, and especially glueman, for sharing their thoughts on this very painful subject. I lost my best friend to suicide twenty-five years ago and I still miss him very much. I remember our last conversation in which I begged him to go to the elders for help. He angrily refused, telling me that they had been absolutely no use or good to him. All they knew how to do was to criticize him for not doing enough. Years were to pass before I realized the bitter truth of my friend's words.

The fact of the matter is that the elders are not qualified to handle most of thei situations they confront. And I blame the WTS for this because it has promoted the lie that these men are appointed by holy spirit and are therefore in the perfect position to render assistance when the exact opposite is the case. What makes it even worse is the elders themselves believe in their infallibility and so they make a bad situation even worse. The WTS has a lot of blood on its hands and I believe it will reap what it has sown.

Quendi

Judge Dread

http://www.adherents.com/misc/religion_suicide.html

JDW

zengalileo

I've been there before. I've told elders and family members that I was going to do it. They laughed and just assumed I was trying to get attention. Man that pissed me off. It made me want to do it more. thankfully I had made some worldly friends in college who were really helpful. they came over, smoked me out, stayed with me, prayed over me, meditated with me and told me how important I was in their lives. No thanks to any JW, my pagan friends had my back. Thanks Satan! For having some really cool loving people on your team!

AvocadoJake

This will continue was long as COs, elders and other individuals continue with the pretense that the Watchtower is above average with their dealings with issues. Wife beaters will continue to beat the hell out of their wives, sisters will be told "You need to be kind, you need to render your due, you need to not make him mad!". If you had a daughter with a blood clot in her brain, and you found out her husband was punching her in the head, what would you do? The coward of a father, sat back and prayed and the elders told this young prince (Be nice, pleazzzzeee.), finally she left the fool. Elders are heinous when it involves wife beating, child beating and other abuses, inept to no training equals incompetence. Elders remind me of the old Mortuary commericals "We are your Silent Partner in your time of great need!" The stories about of women being told to "stand down. just roll with the punches." and be a "godly wife, he might stop hitting you." Why do we listen to men who do not obey Jehovah God and who fail to protect Jesus Christ's little sheep.

gubberningbody

No defense of the WTBS here, but I'm not aware of any study which pits suicide rates when "treated" by professionals vs nonprofessionals is done.

People sometimes kill themselves and it's sad, but sometimes these also kill themselves while being treated by mental health professionals.

(I know 2 "worldly" guys who killed themselves and 3 JW's. The JW's were being treated by mental health professionals.)

This is not just a JW problem. If you care to help, the following resource makes some discussion of the many factors involved.

www.sprc.org/library/nssp.pdf

Yes, yes, WTBS = Bad, but it isn't 100% responsible any more than any religious group.

Take Scientologists, for example, they'll be all for getting a physical, but totally abstain from the pharmacological solutions to depression.

Christian Scientists feel prayer covers it all.

I think it's safe to say that many, many religions and religious people feel that more of whatever their religion is peddling is the answer, (but not all).

4 Suicides I Am Aware Of This Year, Why Elders, COs Are Not Competent To Handle These Matters. (Life Or Death, Your Choice!)

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