I can relate to so much of Morbidzbaby's story.
My Dad let our Mom rasise us as Witnesses. He studied and pretty much thought it was The Truth but couldn't bring himself to go out in service . He was just too quiet and unassuming and unsure of it all to be able to knock on doors with any conviction, so they quit studying with him. My Mom didn't intentionally undermine him in our eyes but just being taught the JW beliefs was enough to do that. All the harsh words about the "world" "unbelievers" "dogs returning to thier vomit" all applied to people like my Dad. We trusted these clean cut, suit wearing, speech giving, bible quoting men at the Kingdom Hall and what they said turmphed whatever my Dad said because they were coached and well rehearsed.
As kids we knew that Dad had blown his chance to accept the truth and was going to be destroyed at Armegeddon which would be comming any day. This had a profound effect on us all but my younger sister was effected the worst. She would practically be hysterical after meetings when this subject was dealt with. She'd tearfully plead for him to come to meetings because she didn't want him to be "destroyed". She couldn't say that word....she'd say "Stroyed... daddy I don't want you to get STROYED at Armegeddon !"
My mom was treated like a widow and wasn't included in things. She was very blonde, tall slim and very attractive and had a lovely accent. As I got older I realized some of the sisters viewed her as a threat, being an unaccompianied female around thier husbands. We were looked upon as sad fatherless children and whenever that subject was discussed in the meeting, we would get extra pity for a few meetings, even though we had a perfectly great Dad waiting for us to get home from meeting so he could see us before he had to go to bed. Dad didn't invite anyone over to our house for fear Mom would start Witnessing to them. We had no relatives in this country so we were pretty much locked into the whole JW thing.
As I've mentioned before, Dad died from loss of blood after signing the No Blood paperwork before a surgery. (he was assured he wouldn't need blood so he signed the papers just in case the JW's are right) He died violently in my younger Sisters arms and she has been a wreck ever since.
All I know is that kids are pretty black and white about things. For instance, if you tell them that smoking is harmful, what they hear is that anyone who smokes is BAD. If a child is taught that anyone who doesn't believe what he beleives, is wrong, is of the devil and will eventually be destroyed by God, he has no filters to sand the harsh edges off this kind of information. If one of his parents fits this profile, it undermines his trust and feeling of security. Growing up, on it's own is difficult enough without adding these unnecessary burdens to children.
