Husband beats wife, husband studies with JWs, husband stops beating wife, all live happily ever after... help needed!

by cedars 33 Replies latest jw friends

  • cedars
    cedars

    Hi everyone

    Without going into details, I'm doing some work on the recent Feb 15th Watchtower article, namely the experience that appears to excuse a husband beating his wife who is not sufficiently showing Christian qualities, etc.

    I am putting together a statement on the subject, and it occurred to me that the scenario of a violent husband beating his wife, then studying and becoming a Witness is not entirely new in itself to the publications. This alone is troubling, because there is repeated suggestion that staying with a violent husband is necessary in order to "win him over". (1 Peter 3:1)

    I was wondering if any of you with Watchtower Library who have nothing better to do could help me? Please can you give me a complete list of all the references on the Watchtower Library of a husband being physically violent to his wife, and later becoming a witness? I believe the more references we get for this scenario, the more compelling the case will be.

    Here are the ones I have so far:

    Happily, all the couples mentioned above were later united in worship. Their vexatious experiences are now in the past. But having gone through them, they are in a good position to offer practical suggestions that could help to defuse potentially explosive situations and possibly bring about united worship in families that are still divided in this respect.

    w908/15p.21DoNotNeglectYourMate!

    Misunderstandings, blown out of proportion by poor communication, jealousy, loneliness, or pressure from relatives, can erupt into violence. A man who used to beat his wife admits: “I didn’t want to lose my family to a religion.” Another says: “I hated coming home to an empty house.” Perhaps they reasoned, ‘If words can’t stop this religious fervor, a few punches will.’

    Happily, all the couples mentioned above were later united in worship. Their vexatious experiences are now in the past. But having gone through them, they are in a good position to offer practical suggestions that could help to defuse potentially explosive situations and possibly bring about united worship in families that are still divided in this respect.

    w908/15p.21DoNotNeglectYourMate!

    Misunderstandings, blown out of proportion by poor communication, jealousy, loneliness, or pressure from relatives, can erupt into violence. A man who used to beat his wife admits: “I didn’t want to lose my family to a religion.” Another says: “I hated coming home to an empty house.” Perhaps they reasoned, ‘If words can’t stop this religious fervor, a few punches will.’

    w908/15p.21DoNotNeglectYourMate!

    Misunderstandings, blown out of proportion by poor communication, jealousy, loneliness, or pressure from relatives, can erupt into violence. A man who used to beat his wife admits: “I didn’t want to lose my family to a religion.” Another says: “I hated coming home to an empty house.” Perhaps they reasoned, ‘If words can’t stop this religious fervor, a few punches will.’

    Happily, all the couples mentioned above were later united in worship. Their vexatious experiences are now in the past. But having gone through them, they are in a good position to offer practical suggestions that could help to defuse potentially explosive situations and possibly bring about united worship in families that are still divided in this respect.

    w074/15p.6WillCrueltyEverEnd?

    However, you may wonder if lasting personality changes are really possible. Well, consider a real-life example. Martín used to yell at his wife right in front of their children and severely beat her. On one occasion, the situation became so bad that the children had to run to the neighbors for help. After a number of years, the family began to study the Bible with Jehovah’s Witnesses. Martín learned what kind of person he should be and how he should treat others. Was he able to change? His wife answers: “In the past, my husband was a different person when he lost his temper. Because of this, our life was in a shambles for a long time. I don’t have enough words to thank Jehovah for helping Martín to change. Now he is a good father and an excellent husband.”

    w048/15p.10Mexico’sIndigenousPeoplesHeartheGoodNews

    In Yucatán, the husband of a Witness was opposed to the truth and sometimes hit her when she came home from the meetings. When meetings in Maya began to be held, she decided to invite him. He came and really enjoyed them. Now he attends the meetings regularly, has a Bible study and, needless to say, no longer beats his wife.

    Feel free to not limit your search to Watchtowers and Awakes, but also to Yearbooks and other publications.

    I do appreciate your support and discretion, and I'm looking forward to receiving your help on this. If all goes well, this WILL make a difference.

    Cedars

  • cedars
    cedars

    Sorry the references above are a bit skewed up!

    Cedars

  • cedars
    cedars

    Please help me! I realise you all may be busy, and this is after all my project and not yours, but it would really save time if we could pool our resources to compile a definitive list of experiences quoted by the Society that fit the description in the title of this thread. I suspect there many be hundreds. If I am successful, this will really advance our cause.

    Cedars

  • discreetslave
    discreetslave

    JW's may point to the Nov 8, 2001 Awake to say they don't condone domestic violence

    Contrast that with experiences like this

    *** w82 7/15 p. 7 How Marriage Survives the Assault ***
    What, though, if only one of the marriage mates tries to apply these principles? Well, the problem becomes harder, but not hopeless. It is better that 50 percent of a partnership does things right than that both do things wrong. And, with endurance, good results are still possible.
    A husband in Korea used to beat his wife when he was under the influence of alcohol. His wife did not seek to end the relationship, even though life was difficult. To her, the goal of a happy marriage was worth aiming for. Hence, unilaterally, she followed the Bible’s counsel, particularly its advice to wives that they cultivate “the quiet and mild spirit, which is of great value in the eyes of God.”—1 Peter 3:4.
    For eleven years she endured. Was it worth it? Yes, because eventually her husband was moved to look into the guidebook for himself. Why? If you asked him, he would answer that his wife’s “quiet and mild spirit” moved him to find out the secret of her fine conduct. He saw the wisdom of the Bible’s advice and changed his ways.

  • cedars
    cedars

    Hi discreetslave - thanks, you're a star!

    Any advance on 4 experiences? We currently have (in date order)...

    w82 7/15 p. 7; w90 8/15 p. 21; w04 8/15 p. 10; w07 4/15 p. 6

    If you could give me the reference and the quote as discreetslave has done above, that would be fantastic.

    Cedars

  • discreetslave
    discreetslave

    *** yb93 pp. 179-180 Honduras ***
    Overcoming Obstacles
    Of course, few manage to serve Jehovah without facing serious obstacles and problems. When Emilia first heard the Kingdom message in 1967, she was already married, though not happily. At first she did not take the truth seriously. But when she began to do something about it, her husband threatened to throw the sister who studied with her out of the house. Emilia said firmly: “If you throw her out, we will study in the street.” One day Emilia stopped at the bar where her husband was drinking to let him know that she was going to the meeting. He was waiting on the corner when she returned and began to shout at her, publicly calling her a prostitute.
    Despite such indignities and even beatings, Emilia decided to get baptized. And in spite of 20 more years of constant opposition, she trained the children. From when they were very small, she taught each one a Bible presentation to practice among the shrubs and flowers in the garden. Was it worth all the work? Of her eight sons, two are now ministerial servants and two are regular pioneers. What of Emilia’s husband? He finally accepted a Bible study—with one of his own daughters, a regular pioneer!

    *** yb90 p. 64 1990 Yearbook of Jehovah’s Witnesses ***
    In this country a Bible study was started with the wife of a military officer. She and her five children soon started attending meetings. Strong opposition from her husband began; he even beat her with his army belt. As the harsh opposition continued, the woman endeavored to practice the Christian principles she had learned. Eventually, the consistency of her good Christian conduct made a deep impression on her husband. He has since retired and is now studying the Bible with one of our brothers.

    *** w95 1/1 pp. 7-8 Triumphing Over Satan and His Works ***
    Youthful Integrity Keepers
    12 Jesus indicated that those who are cut off by family members for the sake of the truth will be rewarded “a hundredfold.” (Mark 10:29, 30) This was true of Entellia, a ten-year-old girl in northern Africa, who loved God’s name—Jehovah—as soon as she heard it. She studied with Jehovah’s Witnesses and walked 90 minutes each way to meetings, even though her opposed family often shut her out of the home on her return. At 13 years of age, she started to preach from house to house, and the family’s opposition intensified. One day relatives bound her hands and feet and had her lie in the broiling sun for seven hours, occasionally throwing dirty water over her. They beat her viciously, destroying one of her eyes, and finally drove her from her home. However, she found work in a hospital and eventually qualified as a nurse. At age 20 she was baptized and enrolled immediately as an auxiliary pioneer. Impressed by her integrity, her family has welcomed her back into their home, and nine of them have accepted home Bible studies.
    13 Entellia gained much encouragement from Psalm 116, especially verses 1-4, which she has read over and over again: “I do love, because Jehovah hears my voice, my entreaties. For he has inclined his ear to me, and throughout my days I shall call. The ropes of death encircled me and the distressing circumstances of Sheol themselves found me. Distress and grief I kept finding. But upon the name of Jehovah I proceeded to call: ‘Ah, Jehovah, do provide my soul with escape!’” Jehovah answers such prayers!

  • designs
    designs

    Sisters- Take a punch in the face for jehovah. Wt..

    Oh I'm so glad I got my daughter out.

  • cedars
    cedars

    Hey discreetslave, well done - you're on a roll!!!

    I really do appreciate this.

    Cedars

  • Band on the Run
    Band on the Run

    The summary in the title upset me so much that I can't even read the article. I feel like punching a hole in the wall with my rage. There is so much accumulated evidence about abusive people and the abused. It is not like it was when I was young and no one talked about it. We have come far but still need to go much further. Why can't they distort the secular literature so at leas they read it. The WT is not neutral. They encourage women to do the very acts proven to lead to serious bodily injury or death. Women die. Children die. They are affirmatively putting women in harm's way.

    I know it not what you asked but I've been unable to respond for days.

  • cedars
    cedars

    Hi Band on the Run - it's okay, I understand your reaction.

    It is extremely depressing when one thinks about it too much.

    Hopefully between me and discreetslave we will build a mountain of extremely damming evidence.

    Cedars

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