@ Jackie ... so well said ... I feel the same way in the emotional part of me ... in the spiritual I think of that night when Jesus was actually born, don't know the date, but I think of what a divine night that was ... when GOD so loved the world that He gave ... wow!
Not sure what to tell my 4 year old about Santa
by jwfacts 41 Replies latest jw friends
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outsmartthesystem
Honestly my friend....I would tell him the same thing I would say in regard to other mythological fantasies. Just like the magic carpet in Aladdin....Santa Clause is pretend. But just because it is pretend doesn't mean you can't still have fun with it. Kids have vivid imaginations. He can imagine jolly ol St Nick giving presents to all the kids and riding around on a sleigh just as easily as he can imagine himself riding on a magic carpet. Tell him that Santa is just pretend.....but let his imagination run wild with it
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OnTheWayOut
I tend to agree with Skeeter above, although I might not agree that waiting until 2nd or 3rd grade is okay. It seems that 7 is about the average limit on this. That's 1st or 2nd grade. So I might want my child ahead of the curve by introducing the idea a bit more strongly that Santa is based on a story about Saint Nicholas without directly telling him that Santa isn't real. I think that could be done sometime after this Christmas, but way before next Christmas for your 4-year-old.
But it also depends on your child's questions. Some never want to go down the road of denying the truth to children that ask for it. Others don't even want to suggest untruths like Santa by saying how "he" will bring them presents if they are good.
I think I would not go overboard trying to convince them that Santa is real. When they figure things out for themselves at a slightly older age, they feel a bit special in that they have grown up some, past their innocence. But maybe to be honest and not destroy their innocence, I would say that there are stories about Santa because people want to believe in magic and good in people. Clearly, Santa has a bigger job than any one person can do, and his work has gone on longer than any of us have lived. People around the world and the stores and the parents have to help Santa to do what is done at Christmas. Presents come from people that love each other.
After saying such, I would consider skirting the issue this close to Christmas. "Is Santa real?" WHAT DO YOU THINK? "Do you really buy the toys, or does Santa do it?" HOW IMPORTANT IS THAT TO YOU?
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00DAD
It's hard to add much to what you've heard so far Paul, but my take on it as a one NOT raised a JW but became one as a young adult then left in my 40's: Lying to your kids is not good, but not allowing them the experience of the magic of imagination and make-belive is not good either.
The problem with the way most parents seem to handle it is that when their kids find out (and they inevitably do) that there is no Santa Clause and they then realize their parents LIED to them it tends to undermine their faith and trust in the parents.
Focus on the importance of family, love, togetherness, kindness and charity. Whatever traditions and customs bring these things out are good.
As humans, we need symbols. It's just good that we know what are symbols and what are real.
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Nice_Dream
My husband didn't want to do the Santa thing, but changed his mind when our 3 year old kept talking about Santa. We decided to tell him the story of Santa too, and let him make what he wanted out of it. We went to the office xmas party, and Santa was there, and our son got a cool toy he wanted and asked "How did Santa know I always wanted this!?!" It was so sweet.
I say let your boy have wonderful, magical memories from his childhood. I believed in Santa until my parents "got the truth." I didn't mind that Santa wasn't real...I was devestated about not being able to participate in the holidays like all my friends and be told that "magic" was "bad."
(Your son is really cute by the way!)
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mrsjones5
"The problem with the way most parents seem to handle it is that when their kids find out (and they inevitably do) that there is no Santa Claus and they then realize their parents LIED to them it tends to undermine their faith and trust in the parents. "
Hm, ya know I asked my kids about, if they looked at it as me lying to them. My oldest son (17) told me it was more of a childhood fairytale to them. I've also asked if their discovery of the myth of Santa and my taking part in the myth led them to lose faith in me and distrust me. The looks on their collective faces told me all I needed to know...it was no.
Listen, do what feels right for you and yours as I have done and will do with mine but please stop trying to guilt others with what might happen. This ain't the kingdom hall and folks here ( I might just be talking about myself) are tried of it. -
Band on the Run
Why deprive him of the wonder of Santa. Also, all the other little kids believe in Santa. It will put him at odds with his peers. His friends' parents will not be pleased. Within a year or two, he will believe that only babies believe in Santa. I would try to memoralize this phase of his life to the max.
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bohm
he is only 4, let him figure it out for himself. As i recall how my beliefs about Santa changed, i went through a periode where "is real" was a fairly fuzzy concept.
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PSacramento
This is what I told Sofia (8) years ago and told Marisa ( 4) this year:
Santa lives a very long time ago and he did soem cool things liek giving gifts to kids that were too poor to have any toys.
Parents saw that and thought that was very nice and they decided to do that too and they pretended it was Santa to make it a big surprise for their kids.
Now we still pretend it is Santa but it is mommy and daddy that give you the gifts.
Marisa turns to me and askes if that is because Santa is too bust with all those kids that he needs mommmy and daddy to help, LOL !
So I said yes and next year, when she asks again, I will try to explain again :)
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Dagney
It seems that kids are really not damaged by the Xmas ruse. As a JW I self righteously couldn't believe I would ever "lie" about Santa to kids. In the end, I realize that being taught the things were were taught as JW's was far more damaging.
Some really good suggestions here. REally like what Skeeter1 said.