May you all have peace!
My husband thought I should post this and I thought, you know, not a bad idea. So, we're sitting in the telly room together, relaxing before our journey (to see the [adult] kids tomorrow. I'm "researching" "stuff" on the web; he's watching the telly. A few minutes ago a commercial for a cake baking contest-type show came on. A woman and what appears to be her "helper" were rushing around as well as talking and she calmly says to him, "Don't worry about the head, I got it; just take care of the body." The man literally ignored her. He then goes on the say something about their time and what needs to be done to head. She says to him, again, in a calm, quiet voice: "Don't worry about the head, just take care of the body." He then says something else about what the head "needs"... and the woman literally popped a cork. She leans toward him and screams at him, "DON'T WORRY ABOUT THE HEAD; WORRY ABOUT THE BODY!!"
At that, my husband jumped and said, "Man!"
So, I asked him, "Man... what?" because I KNEW the woman's yelling go to him. Which will lead "somewhere" in a sec. Bear with me, please.
He says [something to the effect of] "She didn't have to scream like that."
Now, my husband is probably one of the quiestest people I've ever met. I don't scream, however, and never have (never really raised my voice except once when my puppy got off her leash and ran into the street). And I get that loud voices might offend him... and others. They can offend me (my Lord KNOWS I "hate" when a bunch of... ummmmm... shall we say "ethnic" women get together and talk like they're standing across the room from one another - literally makes my teeth stand on edge!). But I wasn't quite "getting" why THIS time (well, I was... but I think he was out of line). So I asked him:
"Her yelling offended you, did it?" to which he replied, "Yeah, it did. I thought, man, 'Shut the F up!" (He's quiet in speech, a man of little words... but, hoo-boy, if you ask him, you'll find there's a LOT of "noise" going on inside that head, lemme tell you...).
Anyway, I thought this was quite interesting because in MY mind, I was going: "Did he just ignore her? Hey, didn't you just hear what she said? Ummmm... you're not listening; she said it again." So, when she finally screamed at him, I thought, "Dang. Too bad. But I guess that's what it took [for him]." And apparently it did... because he went right off to "worry about the body."
So, I asked my husband, "But wasn't his ignoring her offensive? Shouldn't it have been? I mean, she told him, calmly, THREE times... and each time he acted like he didn't hear her. I heard her... and I'm not even there... " to which he replied, "Yeah, I guess so." So I pushed on:
"So, the way I see it, he gave her NO choice but to yell at him... because he really wasn't trying to hear her otherwise."
He goes, "Well, now that you put it that way, I can see that." To which I said:
"It IS sad that she had to yell, but the clock was ticking he was refusing to listen. Why do people NEED to be yelled at... BEFORE they will listen? As the one trying to get their attention, THAT would offend ME... their making me HAVE to yell in order for them to hear. When they could have listened when I was speaking softly, calmly."
To which he said, "You're right. I get it. I would be offended to, if I kept talking to someone and they kept ignoring until I HAD to yell at them, yes." Then he said, "Maybe you should post this."
Which is why I have, just now.
Just sharing... waiting for tomorrow. Again, peace to you all... and HAPPY whatever it is YOU "celebrate" and are "happy" about! Today, tomorrow, and forever!
SA, on her own...