question for older ex-elders

scooterspank

I have only just begun to talk to my father about why he left the truth. I know why he stepped down as an elder many years ago but we have just scratched the surface about why he "faded" in his 60's I would say (he is now 74). I just wonder how much leaving the "truth" that much later in life has an effect on depression, anxiety, anger (he joined in his 30's)? But depression is my biggest concern. Do you feel that you wasted your life? Do you regret how you brought up your children? Do you fear the future, death? Are you angry and sad about all those wasted years? Just wondering... Thanks in advance.

finally awake

Speaking for myself, I do feel like I wasted 12 of what would have been the best, most productive years of my life. I was 28 when I started studying, and I just finally broke free a few weeks ago. However, my feelings of depression and anxiety have been reduced immensely by no longer having to live a lie. If I was much older though, it might be depressing to think that I didn't have very many years left to enjoy my freedom. I hope your father can find peace and contentment.

jam

Join in my early 20,s, left 1987. Suffered extreme anxiety,

and depression. I felt I had abandoned my kids.

Anger, no. I left at A age early enough to make A

new life. Professional help aided in my recovery.

scooterspank

Thank you for the replies. I just really worry about him. I could go on and on. Thanks for the insight.

OnTheWayOut

I don't quite qualify for your perameters, but trust your gut. You seem to be on track about what's going on with your father.

scooterspank

Really this question can include anyone. I was having a hard time last night figuring out exactly what I was trying to ask. I guess I just wonder if it's harder on people when they are older and were in for so long?

tresdecu

I was not an elder, just a former MS. It's funny this realates a bit to your question...but I was just thinking the other day how my high school days were wasted, I find myself wishing I could relive them so much...playing football and hockey, enjoying the comraderie, the 'friday night lights' flirting with girls, being able to go to dances, proms...even a freeking date would have been nice.

I did get to attend some fun "get-togethers" though lol....1 chaperon for every 5 youths. shoot me now.

sorry this is off the topic of 'question for older ex-elders' just couldn't resist chiming in.

TD

OnTheWayOut

We have many here who feel it is practically impossible if not too late to separate older loved ones from the Jw's. I feel it's nevee too late.

But the main idea is that they are so entrenched, not just in the lifestyle but also in a way of thinking. The longer one was sure it was the truth, the harder it tends to be to get over being duped and trying to think your own decisions can be good ones.

FatFreek 2005

I am 71 but was only 37 when I announced my resignation as elder. So the last 1/3 century has been free (mostly) from the cult. Unfortunately, your dad has not had that much freedom and I empathize with him.

The problem, as I see it, with those that leave -- is many still feel they have left the truth. I can only hope that isn't the case with your father because he hasn't yet found true freedom.

I left because of having read the '75 yearbook. Well, there were other things, of course, but that yearbook was the catalyst.

The Watchtower yearbook recap of the 1925 debacle didn't work for me. They were clearly trying to soften their 1975 buildup and all their implications so they could potentially blame the flock once again. I could see cover-up and deception, their quoting an elderly sister (Anna McDonald, I think her name was) in how she recollected that many fell out in those post 1925 years because they had perceived 1925 as a certainty -- instead of a possibility. Ha! I could see Rutherford smiling from his grave, knowing fully well how he was the one -- in pages of Watchtower publications -- who had advertised all that certainty in the years before 1925.

For me, it wasn't leaving the truth, but just the opposite.

Len

BluesBrother

I was brought up within it, made an elder in my twenties, stood down and quickly faded in my fifties...

Do you feel that you wasted your life? Yes.

Do you regret how you brought up your children? We did not have any (if I had trained children who were now captives of the cult, I would indeed regret it)

Do you fear the future, death? No

Are you angry and sad about all those wasted years? Yes, well at least angry if I stop to think about it that way, but this place keeps me sane and I realize that it is no good being 'down about it ' now...Try to enjoy the remaining years as best I can....

question for older ex-elders

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