MY FATHER HAS BEEN REASSIMULATED!!

by Ranchette 11 Replies latest jw friends

  • Ranchette
    Ranchette

    Yes, I’m sick!
    My father willingly allowed himself to be reabsorbed by the BORG!

    During the time he was DF’d and separated from my mother (“church lady”) I tried to help him see through to the real colors of the organization.

    He has not one spiritual bone in his body and never has.
    He really didn’t want to discuss it.

    I was concerned because I knew that between the Organization and my mom he just believed he was a bad person who would be destroyed at Armageddon. I knew he needed to think and talk about it. He needed to start thinking for himself.

    I knew he wasn’t ready but I thought of something. I had never really asked anything of him before and I pointed this fact out to him.

    I asked him if he would promise to read the Bible cover to cover before ever even considering going back to the organization.

    Reading the Bible was sure an eye opener for me.
    I found out that JWs don’t teach in harmony with what it says.
    As I continued that study I came to the conclusion that it’s not inspired by God either.

    He promised that he would read it. I felt pretty safe because I didn't figure he ever would ever take the time to read it and he surely wouldn't break his promise to me.
    I thought I was covered both ways.

    Wrong!!!

    That was a promise he did not keep!

    It all boils down to the fact that he would do anything to be able to get back with my mom.

    I have talked to them once since October. That is the month he went back to mom with his tail between his legs.

    They also have two grandchildren and another daughter that they have cast aside for this religion.

    My mother hasn’t seen, called or written them in almost a year.
    That was when I went to see her with my kids. There was no effort on her part even a year ago.

    Now I feel the need to do whatever I can to keep my DF’d sister from going back.

    Even though I know this is not my fault I still have to fight feelings of failure and loss.

    I know this has happened to some of you too.
    It's just sad.

    Ranchette

  • bluesapphire
    bluesapphire

    ((((Ranchette))))

    I know EXACTLY how you are feeling right now. Believe it or not, I am crying for you just like the many times my heart has ached for the loss of my sister.

    I HATE, DETEST, ABHOR this wicked and twisted excuse for a religion.

    Do what you can with your sister. Maybe talking to her about the Mormons or Moonies or Scientology will get her thinking about the borg.

    Believe it or not, I think your dad will drop out eventually after he's settled in back with your mom. Some men are funny that way. I took my ex back twice before I realized they promise you the world but don't deliver.

    Keep posting on this board. It has been therapeutic for me.

    Love and friends,
    blue

  • William Penwell
    William Penwell

    I have always wondered how many of the Jdubs that attend the meeting are only going for someone else or to just save their asses at Hermogeddon...

    Will

    "I am quite sure now that often, very often, in matters concerning religion and politics a man's reasoning powers are not above the monkey's."
    Mark Twain

  • Ranchette
    Ranchette

    This may sound strange but my dad was an elder for years but I still say he was never a spiritual man.

    My mother was the spiritual head, police and judge in our home.

    He's a very introverted man.
    He always hated service, public speaking, family study,.....

    He did what was expected and what he had to to keep mom happy.
    She nagged all of us including him about personal study, study for meetings, the text, reaching out for privleges and so on.

    Ranchette

  • out4good3
    out4good3

    Ahhhh...the old "guilt trip" encouragement....again, the hallmark of being a dub. I know and heard it well. You can alway do more in service, prepare the study material more, personal bible study more, reach out for more "privileges".......it goes on and on and on.............

  • ashitaka
    ashitaka

    Hey Ranchy, it's a real shame, but keep working on him. This could just be a phase. He might see the light; your mom will be good for him for only so long, then he'll long for his freedom again.

    I say take a step back, let things take their course, then hit him with the newest scandal when it comes...worked for my mom.

    Above all, don't worry!

    ashi

  • pandora
    pandora

    Ranchette,
    I lost my sister to a re-assimulation recently. She actually hasn't told me yet that she has been reinstated. I guess I am suppose to figure it out because now she talks to me about all the "friends" at the kingdom hall. I know I am lucky that she is still speaking to me, but there is no telling how long that will last. She is changing on a daily basis as the assimulation takes hold. I hope that it isn't a permanent condition, but I fear the worst.
    Much like your father, she is not a spiritual person. Her reason for going back was blackmail. Her children, who were raised in the truth by her X-husband threatened to stop talking to her. I know that the reason she went back is for the kids. And maybe some sick thought that she will make it through harmagedon even if she isn't sincere.
    I know it is torture Ranchette. I completely understand how you feel. Helpless. No matter how many times I tried to talk to my sister she just wouldn't listen. She would litterally talk over me until I shut up and then she would take the conversation elsewere. I have never been so frustrated in my life.
    (((((Ranchette)))))))
    My thoughts are with you. Good luck with your sister. I hope she listens to you better than my sister listened to me.
    -P(J)-

  • Ranchette
    Ranchette

    ((((Pandora)))),

    Thanks for the hugs and here's some for you.
    Sorry about your sister.

    I am not going to give up hope but I'm not going to hold my breath either.
    Things can always change and as messed up as my family is it probably will at some point.

    Ashi,
    Thanks for the encouragement, kind words, and advice.

    Out4good3,

    "Guilt Trips"
    Wow you saw through to my moms favorite weapon and control tactic!
    You must have experience with this kind of person.

    Blue Sapphire

    I HATE, DETEST, ABHOR this wicked and twisted excuse for a religion.
    I feel the same way because of how much we have lost and how even after leaving it still effects us.

    It is also a constant battle not to let these feelings get out of hand so that we are robbed of the happiness freedom that we fought so hard for.

    William Pen,

    I think there are many who go through the motions and stay in this religion for reasons other than true belief,devotion, and faith.

    Many will never admit this fact even to themselves.

    Everyone,

    I forgot to tell you how I came to find about my dad being reinstated.

    About a week ago my sister called up very upset and crying.
    My dad deserted her to go back to mom back in October and now after all this time he calls her to give her this piece of news and she is the one DF'd and I am not.

    How weird is this?!!!!

    My parents want her to come back and my mom has been warning her not to let me influence her with my apostate ideas.

    My sister feels abandoned by them the same as I do so she is feeling closer to me now.

    Ranchette

  • outnfree
    outnfree

    (((Ranchette)))

    This is all so sad. ALL of it! I cannot say I know how you feel, because I never had any family 'in', but I know I would absolutely detest ANYTHING that separated me from my family with no good reason.

    I, too, hope that your father finally will not be able to stomach the WT lies, and that you are able to help your sister see that going back is not a worthwhile thing to do.

    This shunning business STINKS to high heaven!

    outnfree

    It's what you learn after you know it all that counts -- John Wooden

  • waiting
    waiting

    Howdy Ranchette,

    Sorry for the bad news - take care. But remember also, df'd people who are reinstated are about 3/4 times likely to leave again.

    We used to just shake our heads about that when in the org. Now? Seems they just can't get into the swing of giving up so much of their lives to a publishing company.

    Imho, sounds like he just wants his wife back, and is willing not to think to get that. Oh well.

    waiting

Share this

Google+
Pinterest
Reddit