It's no more ridiculous than the WT telling us that a book written 2000 years ago predicted a series of conventions in the 20th century.
Another Jaw Dropping, Hilarious Awake Mag.
by metatron 18 Replies latest jw friends
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geevee
This IS self-hypnosis in it's most basic form.... keep it up JW's, they use it all the time anyway.
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WTWizard
How to relax? I thought that it was forbidden among the witlesses, since they in reality have to waste all their time worrying about being good enough, studying the washtowel, going to endless boasting sessions, and endless pious-sneering. Beyond the never having time to relax, there is the doom about their livelihoods being somehow next on the "banned" list. Are they going to have to give up their job because of a new rule from the Filthful and Disgraceful Slavebugger or because the hounders feel it's interfering with their boasting session attendance and field circus?
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I quit!
I'm wondering why Jehovah's happy people need articles like this.
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BluesBrother
Spot the difference?
March Awake 2012 page 8 & 9.
"Learn to Relax" , "Breathing deeply, which is one of the best - and - fastest ways to reduce the intensity of your anger" and "While breathing deeply, repeating a word or phrase that is calming to you, such as 'relax', let it go', or 'take it easy'.
Aw 76 11/8 p26
What is transcendental meditation? It involves sitting upright with eyes closed and letting the mind drift effortlessly toward a word or phrase known as a “mantra.” Advocates of TM say that it is neither a religion nor a philosophy nor a way of life. They advertise TM as simply “a natural and effortless technique for improving all aspects of life.”
Is this so or is TM actually a religious practice that conflicts with Bible teaching? What do the facts reveal?"
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Listener
Thanks BluesBrothers, now wonder the JWs get stressed out, with so much conflicting information or information that they have to continuially decipher they hardly know whether they are arthur or martha.
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rebel8
It's no more ridiculous than the WT telling us that a book written 2000 years ago predicted a series of conventions in the 20th century.
ROFL
...or a powerful invisible supervillan embodied in a talking snake
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rebel8
I finally got around to reading the article, “Fancy a Fungus”. What a prize.
Many conscientious ones among Jehovah's people today have wondered if Christians should eat mushrooms. First let us consider what most scholars agree is the original Greek for the English word mushroom.
Fungi Portobellicus means literally "a devilishly delicious mushroom". Clearly the basic nature of mushrooms is evil much like Satan the "Father of the Fungus". There are numerous reasons why a Loyal Servant of God should use their Bible-trained conscience to arrive at a proper understanding of why mushrooms are not for Christians. Consider the following facts with an open mind:
1) It is well known that mushrooms are related to other “unclean things” such as yeast infections, mold and mildew. Jehovah wisely commanded us, “Abstain from Athlete’s Foot.” (Cain 1:12) Would it be wise to eat cousins, or fractions, of this unclean mushroom, taking it into our bodies after sauteeing them with olive oil or frying and dipping them in honey mustard sauce?
2) Breaded mushrooms were most likely served as an appetizer at Herod's birthday party when John the Baptist was beheaded. Clearly, Jehovah disapproved of this party. Should we take part in similar activities, like eating them with beer at TGI Fridays on the weekends? Surely not!
3) In Lot’s day, mushrooms were used in unclean homosexual practices. Let’s not forget the men taunted Jehovah’s angels, saying, “Let’s lie down together and eat sautéed shrooms!” It’s a well-known fact that eating mushrooms can lead to homosexuality.
4) Mushrooms are symbolic of unnatural use of the sex organs; they reproduce without benefit of marriage and heterosexual relations. As with a shitake, if a young virgin girl yields her body to the advances of the amorous spore, she is likely to reproduce as a result of just one sex interview.
This bearing of children is the sole privilege of the female. In fact, this is one main reason for creating the female of the human species.
When a young, unmarried girl falls to the temptation, the price she pays is terrible: shame, sorrow, a ruined reputation, endless troubles, with the danger of being disfellowshiped from a congregation if the girl is a dedicated member. She would do well to avoid the bad example of the mushroom spore!
OMG I can't believe I just spent 30 mins writing that. I think I need a new hobby. lol
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finally awake
Mushrooms are dirrrty! No wonder I like them so much!