I was born in, left from 15-18 then came back around 95. From 95-99 many but not all of my time being a JW was pretty good. Around 2006 or so I was really at my wits end with the content of the meetings. There was nothing interesting, and it was the same thing over and over again. As a last resort I looked on the internet to see maybe if there was a JW forum. It took me a while to weed through what I thought at the time was evil apostate sites, but I did find one. I found 2 actually, one was called something like "scriptual discussion" and the next was a forum run by a JW that went by the name wrench. So I started frequenting that forum. It was the same year the convention was called "Deliverance at Hand", and that struck me because it was such a powerful statement. I felt that this must be the one where they start really coming strong with the deep information. Nope. Same stuff, about entertainment, dress and grooming, pioneering, etc. But one demonstration really shook me, and there was this young brother on stage talking to an elder. He was listing all of the things that he does, he was baptised, was on the school, got 10 hours a month in service, did mics, had many privelages, and worked full time. So in my mind, I felt wow, what an upstanding and hard working brother, how does he fit it all? Then like a slap in the face the elder tells him he is not doing enough and what he is doing wrong is working full time, and there was another big problem, he was watching his new DVR and plasma tv for an hour every night after a long hard day of work before bed. Im thinking to myself, are you serious? THIS KID IS NOT DOING ENOUGH?!?!?!? WTF!??!?!
It was at this convention that I noticed there was like double or triple the ammount of attandants, many were all over us to hold on to the hand rail, they were giving out paper towels one at a time, etc. I was in the bathroom and I needed to dry my hands, and the attandant was holding all of the paper towels. So I waited in line like it was the prision cafeteria, and when it was my turn, he gave me a towel, and it didnt dry my hands fully, so I asked him for another one, and he said no, only one towel per person. I thought he was kidding so I laughed and he was stone face. It was outrageous. So I looked at him in the eye while wiping my hands on my suit pants. He looked unconfertable, I guess it was because my facial expression was "f**k you".
Then back to my seat, and again, barked at by an attandant to "hold the hand rail" while walking up the steps. Then finally the day is over, im walking to my car, there is alot of JW's around, and the parking lot was across the street from the back street with almost no traffic on it. You could sit in the middle of this street and eat lunch and a car would not come. So I walk like 6-15 feet outside of the crosswalk, as there were a bunch of JW's in it. And I hear someone yelling at the top of their lungs "BROTHER!!, BROTHER!!!" So im thinking damn, something must be going down. So I look up and this a**hole attandant is yelling at me! Im like WTF? He says "USE THE CROSS WALK!!!!" He was yelling so loud, I was disorented, so to try to calm the situation I put my hand up, and since im in the middle of the street I proceed to take the few steps it would take to get into the cross walk, thinking that would appease this disgusting bastard, and he says "NO! NO! GO BACK AND START OVER!" ANd by this time everyone is looking at me. I was about to walk over to this dude, and bitch slap him. It was like everyone was watching me to see what I would do, and some people had a look on their face like they felt bad for me cause this guy was so out of line. I knew if I did anything but take it up the ass and walk back there I'd be looked upon like satan, disobeying direction, so I went back and started over. When I walked passed him, he said "thank you" and I gave him the most epic "f**K you and your entire family" look. I got into my car with my wife and mother, and said "there is something going on here, something is wrong". (In hindsite, I was in a cult, so yes something was wrong, lol)
From that point on I was reading the JW forums, but after a while just found alot of people with similar gripes, and I just felt like there was something not right, if it seems like in every hall there are the same problems. So comes the next convention in 2007, and the phrase that began my wakeup hit me in the face like a bag of bricks. I thank the watchtower society for coming up with this, because it was the final straw. During one of the talks, the brother was talking about the faithful slave (it may have been the talk, "they follow the lamb no matter where he goes") and he said "Why should we trust the faithful slave?" his answer shook me to my core ."Because Jehovah and Jesus trust the slave." I looked at my wife and said "what did he just say?" GOD, the most powerful being in the universe, along with his son, the 2nd most powerful being in the universe put their TRUST in HUMANS?!?!?!?!??!?! WHAT THE F**K IS GOING ON IN THIS PLACE?!?!?!??!
That night I got home, and realized, there is something very wrong, and I wont be able to find out what it is until I read everything, not just the JW forums, so that is when I began reading "apostate" websites. Shortly after that I purchased Crisis of Conscience, and that pretty much explained the majority of it. Then I read his 2nd book, and finally "Releasing the Bonds" by Steve Hassan, and then my wake up was complete. During this process I would slowly introduce ideas to my 60 year old hardcore JW mother. Fortunatly it worked and after reading quite a few things, she read the letter Rutherford sent to hitler, she woke up from that, and the blood transfusion scriptures being taken out of context. My wife, told me she was done about a year before I was, and she was afraid to tell me. My closest friend also is out, I was able to show him stuff as I found out, he had a paid 4 year tuition to college from his dad, but cause the JW stance of college decided not to go. After learning the truth, he enrolled in college and now he is a 3.8 average and enrolling in grad school. There was one other friend, while we werent super close, I did like him sadly, he just became a more extreme witness after we tried to help him wake up, and I havent talked to him in about 2 years.
I faded, I havent been contacted, its been 3 years, and I dont answer the phone, or door, and do not acknowledge any authority on their part, so they can do whatever they want. I have moved on. I reverse shun JW's at the store, there are a few exceptions, those who were always nice, and still are nice, there are like 2 or 3 of them. Other than that, I get off on pulling very dramatic JW style shunning on any JW's I come across. Im one of the lucky ones, no one I care about, aside from that one semi friend is in the borg, and if they DF'd me, it would make no difference, I got my friend and family out. Fortunatly, throughout my life, I kept my close "worldly" friends, and never had many JW friends to begin with, so there was no transition. Just telling them I am no longer a JW, so if you want to have a drink and a smoke, like we used to, im all for it. My wifes mother was DF'd, and the relationship was strained, but now its back to what it was. Just had a son about a year and a half ago, and am happy and relived he will not have to even know what a JW is, nor will he grow up in that enviorement. We just had our 2nd christmas and when he starts school, he'll blend in with everyone else.
I feel very fortunate, the one draw back is not having a worldview set in stone to look at things like death, etc in that context. I've done a ton of research on religion, etc and im pretty much where I was at the beginning, I think there is some truth in alot of things, and alot of lies in others. I think we will find out when we die what the truth is. I will never join another organized religion again, and I find it special that I have had my belief system reset and now after learning about cults, mind control, logical fallacies, and critical thinking, I can use this knowledge to debunk any BS that comes my way. I may not have alot of concrete answers to alot of stuff, but I know what the BS is, and most people in the world are captive to some kind of BS. So on that one hand, we are all very very lucky.
