by caliber 21 Replies latest jw experiences
It's possible to choose people you get to know. So, in learning about the people around you, it is possible that the things you learn about them could be things you appreciate or, at the very least understand. Many ex-JW's believe they married for other reasons (than love ) such as spiritual qualities or for security.
Please give your story or opinion on this.
Are you given a fair opportunity to "fall in love " at the kingdom Hall ?
Nope.
Nope.
For the" nopes" ...... hee hee hee .... how would you respond to this quote ...
"It was vital for me to start owning that falling in love was a choice I was making - not some lightening strike that I was powerless over. As long as I was reacting unconsciously - not owning that I had some power over the beliefs I was empowering and therefore the feelings I was set up to experience because of the perspectives and expectations those beliefs created - then I was in my codependency and powerless to make choices. I was then doomed to end up blaming her for not being a magical princess and/or blaming myself for being such an ugly frog."
http://www.joy2meu.com/falling_in_love.htm
I am not being critical just looking for some imput because in general I am likely a "nope' too especially for KH romances !!
then I was in my codependency and powerless to make choices. I was then doomed to end up blaming her for not being a magical princess and/or blaming myself for being such an ugly frog."
It's utter bullshit. It's like saying that because I didn't choose to like chocolate I am doomed to end up blaming it for not also having mint in it. Ridiculous.
I don't think anyone has a choice over who they feel attracted to - but people do have a choice in whether they allow those emotions to rule or whether they will engage their brain and make rational decisions. For example, I know that I have a "type", and I do not feel sexually attracted to men who don't fit that type. However, just because someone might be my "type" doesn't make me powerless to resist his charms or unable to determine if we are actually compatible. I am also free to choose to disregard my initial lack of attraction, although in my experience it turned out to be an absolute disaster.
When the number of potential mates is so limited (like within the borg), I think it really makes it hard for people to pair off successfully. Especially because the borg actively discourages open and honest conversations about spirituality, the likelihood of people pairing off who are actually not at all compatible is pretty high. Plus, having to stifle large portions of your natural personality because they are "unchristian" doesn't help. I look back at the person I tried to be while I was in the borg, and I don't even recognize myself.
@caliber: I don't know about your quote. Each persons's experience is unique. I don't think it's that complicated. You feel what you feel for another and you are powerless to change feelings, until experience causes you to feel differently. There are all types of love and love changes...for instance a crush is real and powerful, but not lasting, it changes to something deeper or fades.
Probably love at the KH was more difficult, but what happens there happens outside the KH as well, maybe a higher number of marriages for the wrong reason. But I know quite a few that married young and it worked out.
Love is really the most rewarding experience in life...and I don't mean just romantic.
choice or chance which best descripts love ?
I'd say that there is a pretty good chance that falling in love can be a choice, a chance or a mixture of both. However, if you really love the other person unconditionally...and a lot more people talk about doing that than actually do it...then have you have taken the chance out of the proposition?
listen ! thanks everyone for your intelligent personal input It all makes sense to me
Nope.
Sisters in particular are always told to look for a man who has strong spiritual qualities, good personal study routine, good standing with the congregation - nothing to do with your personality.
Hell, the whole marriage talk is about the '3 fold cord', which stresses including Jehovah as the third-wheel in your marriage (usually taking the form of a camera man called Paulo during the honeymoon)
I wouldnt have found love in the KH.
Chance definitely. I'm talking about the chance that two people happen to feel the same for each other at the same time, out of all the rest of humanity. Love is one crazy,inexplicable thing. IMHO.
Individual results may vary.
