CRISIS OF CONSCIENCE

by jojojunfan 39 Replies latest jw friends

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  Black Sheep

  Welcome to our nightmare, jojojunfan.

  Not talking to your family is a good thing. Many most of us made the mistake of expressing our doubts in a way that indentified us as the enemy, rather than causing our family members to try to confront flaws and dishonesty in Watchtower logic and doctrine. You damned near need a degree in a relevent branch of psychology to have a sensible conversation with any cult member, so be patient.

  ...and don't feel guilty. It's not your fault you and your family were scammed by a high control group. Any pain JWs go through when family leave is illegitimately caused by the WT itself, not by the family members who leave in good concience and with good reasons. Remember too, that people who leave are not leaving Jehovah's Organisation. Jehovah has never had anything to do with this church.

  Chris
• 

  jojojunfan

  Ok, the 10hr rule.... We had a meeting about a year ago to encourage Brothers to reach out. It was, to put it mildly, one of the worst " encouraging talks that i have heard. The 7 to 8hrs that you mentioned were also a topic for discussion. Evidently the Elders meeting discussed the national average. So any brothers in our congregation who are below the national average cannot 1( run microphones 2) run the sound system . Those are definate restrictions, as far as reading the Watchtower, and public prayer, those are for the Brothers who have the national average. To be a Ministerial Servant, you must be " exemplary " so you must have OVER the national average to be considered. At this meeting everyone was given their publisher cards to look at while being told to continue to reach out. No one was encouraged, only my being numb to this situation stopped me from losing it at that moment. I had decided that I had hit the glass ceiling too many times, and was determined just to do my best. In truth, I was hurt also, just not as much as others. Also for some time before this meeting I had been meditating alot about how things were being done. Also you are totally correct when you say that there is absolutely NO hourly requirement for appointment in the Scriptures. In fact the phrase " 10 hours " itself appears only 3 times in the 2010 Watchtower Library as pertaining to field service.
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  ABibleStudent

  Welcome jojojunfan to the Truth about the WTBTS with a free mind, instead of dazed, asleep mind. You took the red bill instead of the blue pill (watch the Matrix if you do not understand the reference). JWs can never do enough to make the GB and leaders of the WTBTS happy. The WTBTS is a dangerous cult. Since you have already read Ray Franz's books, you might want to start reading Steve Hassan's books (i.e., "Combatting Cult Mind Control" and "Releasing the Bonds: Empowering People to Think for Themselves"). Steve Hassan's books may help you to communicate more effectively with your JW family members, encase they start to suspect that you believe that you must follow the teachings of Jesus Christ instead of the Watchtower's teachings.

  Peace be with you and everyone, who you love,

  Robert
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  venetian

  Hi Jojojunfan and welcome.

  As a sister I haven't had the same pressure you feel to reach out but I can definately empathise with the pressure for hours.

  After much prayerful thought and bible reading, several scriptures came to my mind. One of them was "Come to me all you who are toiling and loaded down and I will refresh you. Take my yoke upon you and learn from me for my yoke is kindly and my load is light".

  A nice scripture often quoted, but do you feel the truth of those words?

  Is this 10hr edict a light load or a burden? Does it make you feel refreshed or guiltridden and worthless?

  You know the answer to these questions, so the next step is to ask yourself, is the 10hr edict really from Jesus? Would He have put such a burden on your shoulders, making you feel so guilty and downhearted that you'd contemplate suicide? Surely not!

  This edict is from MEN, not Christ. And as a christian, whose words should you be following?

  So don't let the burdens and rules of MEN make you feel downhearted and guilty, for they are the words of Pharisees who burdened the people unnecessarily harshly. How did Jesus feel about such men? He condemned them in the strongest terms!

  You have a good heart dear bro so please don't underestimate the value of the kind assistance you give your brothers now. Jehovah isn't interested in men who "reach out" He's interested in the hidden qualities, which are far more precious to him than anything else.
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  Morbidzbaby

  Welcome! It certainly is a burden you're bearing...one that many here have had to bear as well. You're in good company.

  You said you have been trying to strictly read the Bible...Might I make a suggestion on this? If you're only reading the New World Translation, you're not getting the Bible, you're getting the Watchtower Society's interpretation of it. In other words, it's been found that many of the scriptures have been doctored from the original texts in order to more closely adhere to Watchtower doctrine. The person who interpreted it had no formal education in the Biblical languages and admitted as much in court. Much of it supports Watchtower beliefs, but another Bible like the King James for example, wouldn't. So, basically, they make the Bible say what they need it to say, not tell people what the Bible ACTUALLY says. You would do well to get a good Bible that is as accurate as possible. One of the other Christians here could make a suggestion for you... I know I have the New International Version...but I like it because it reads like a regular book, not with some of the downright confusing syntax of the NWT.

  Just a thought.

  Also, when it comes to "reaching out", there's a lot of pressure lately because most young men simply DON'T WANT TO. So it's hammered into them that they should...but only if they meet a Field Service Hour requirement. Yet the Bible states the qualifications of an overseer, and nowhere does it say they have to put in 10 hours per month. THAT is a Watchtower rule, not a Biblical rule (much like other rules they have about women wearing only dresses or skirts to a meeting, men not having beards, women not being allowed to give talks to the congregation, not taking blood...). These are man-made rules. Remember what the scriptures say about those who add to them or take away from them? Think about that. Now think about whether the Watchtower adds to the scriptures... Jesus came to ease the burden of the people, according to the Bible...because the Pharisees were putting way to many ridiculous rules and regulations on them. He said "My yoke is kindly and my load is light". Now, I ask you...when was the last time you felt like your burden was light when it comes to worshipping god? Meetings, field service, assemblies, conventions, studying for all of the aforementioned...plus working a job that you have to schedule AROUND those things. Now think about all the rules the Watchtower has that are NOT Bible-based... Is that a "kindly yoke"? Is that a "light load"? If you can't answer "yes" to those questions, then the only conclusion is that the Watchtower is not following Christ...therefore, it's not the real truth, nor is it Christian.
• 

  factfinder

  Hi JoJo and welcome!!!
• 

  factfinder

  Venetian and Morbidzbaby-

  I never felt what Jesus described as his load being light and his yoke kindly. There always was pressure. I was told I did" not have the yoke on properly!'

  So many scriptures meant to give comfort never provided any comfort.

  The wts is a man-made organization run by pharisees.
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  jojojunfan

  Thanks everyone, since posting here and visiting jwstruggle I already feel better. I have a CO visit coming up soon. I need to decide if this is " the hill I want to die on " or if I am just going enter stealth mode. I really feel like our 2 new elders can have a chance to correct things before I get involved. But with all that I am learning, I dont know if I would even accept an appointment. Is it delusional to think that I am going to get things to change that no one before has been able to change? I do agree that for the time being, I should just do what I always do: 1) Love the lowly ones in my congregation 2) do my best 3) be a real friend, and the most important, Obey GOD as ruler, rather than men.
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  tornapart

  I think you have got the right priorties jojojunfan!
• 

  diamondiiz

  Good luck on being a real friend, as the reality is you can't have indoctrinated JWs as real friends. You can be as nice as you like to them, but the minute you are da/df they will no longer acknowledge your existence. Do your research and decide where you stand. You don't have to get df or da yourself even if you decide you don't want anything to do with the cult, but if you do research and agree that wts is a cult, and decide to stay you have to be very careful what you say to any active witness or you will go through the kangaroo court and get the boot and lose every so called friend you know.

  There is no way wts will change. Even if you were an elder, there is absolutely no chance of changing the past or the future of the borg. They will destroy your worth, and paint you evil before you even have a chance to make a dent in your own congregation, let alone on a larger scale. You've just began to awaken to the reality and I can tell you it will be harder and harder to overlook the injustice, the corruption and the lie within the cult as time goes on. You're not the only one that thought you can make a difference and stay on but reality is in due time you will have to make your choice what you want to do with your life - waste serving a lie or free your self to whatever degree you want and move on with your life. At 37 you have a long life ahead of you, take your time at researching who and what you've been involved with and your believes will also greatly change but it all takes time for the indoctrination to lose it's hold on you. Take care.