My 18-yr old college freshman nephew has just been cut off for leaving the JWs...

by Alfred 27 Replies latest jw experiences

  • Alfred
    Alfred

    I spoke about him in a previous thread... He's the nicest kid you'll ever meet... smart, humble, shows respect and is very kind to everyone around him... except for one minor thing... you guessed it... he no longer believes in the JW religion. Also, he feels it is simply a place for hopeless people to gather and give each other moral support without actually doing anything productive to better their lives... I won't get into the details on how he arrived at this conclusion... suffice to say, he did not want to be a part of this crowd any longer.

    Incredibly, when he was a lot younger, he was able to convince his JW father (a PO) and his JW mother (my sister) that they should let him go to college when he turns 18 (and help him pay for it!!!). So they started putting some money away and my nephew has been in college since September!

    However, he recently stopped going to meetings and moved out of the house about a month ago. When this happened, I thought: "Oh no... It's just a matter of time before they cut him off!"... well, sure sh*t, I just got this text message from him last night:

    "I've just been cut off. What kind of parents won't help u pay for college? It's ridiculous. There should be a law against this."

    So the rug has just been pulled out from under him after just one semester and he's on the fence on what to do next. I'll spare you the rest of the text messages that went back and forth, but I'm sure this experience will make him a much better and stronger person, able to deal with real life situations with no WT filter clouding his judgment. He did promise me he would download "Crisis of Conscience" today and start reading it as soon as possible.

    I'll keep you updated on his reaction to the book...

  • cantleave
    cantleave

    Poor kid. What a loving organisation his parents belong to!

  • Black Sheep
    Black Sheep

    What a nightmare. I hope he can finish his education somehow.

    Can the college heads be pressed into service to guilt the parents into not behaving like comlete pricks? Can they ask the parents why they have cut off the funding and to justify it in light of the failures of the church's prophetic mumbo jumbo from the late 60s, 1940s etc.?

  • Alfred
    Alfred

    Blacksheep... it most certainly will be a nightmare, but he'll make it... he's very focused and determined not to fail...

    In fairness to my sister, she's just going along with whatever my arrogant, self-centered brother-in-law decides... about 8 months ago, this prick had the audacity to tell me that my "attitude is described in the elders manual".... wtf?

  • Black Sheep
    Black Sheep

    I reckon the parents should have to stand in front of as many people as possible and explain why the advice given to kids by their church in 1940 was wrong, why the same advice from the 60's was wrong, and why the same advice from their church, now, is right for their son.

    They need to cringe in front of their peers, and feel like cult members and admit they are cult members.

  • DesirousOfChange
    DesirousOfChange

    about 8 months ago, this prick had the audacity to tell me that my "attitude is described in the elders manual".... wtf?

    Of course it is. There is a freaking TIDAL WAVE of JDubs with your "attitude". (Soon to be EX-JWs.)

    What the hell are they to do? Ban the Internet! Demonize doubters! Shun faders!

    Katie. . . . BAR THE DOOR!

    DOC

  • Broken Promises
    Broken Promises

    I'm so sorry for your nephew, and if anything, his parents have ensured he will NEVER go back to the JWs!

    I hope he works something out. A good education is very important thing to achieve. I wish him every success.

  • Band on the Run
    Band on the Run

    My chest is tight with empathy. I recall reading an article in the New York Times mag about Columbia's admission process. One applicant was the son of a Columbia alumni. He abandoned the family after a divorce so the son was requesting financial aid. His father had large resources, partly b/c of a Columbia education. The committee decided that the dean would call the father and pressure him to be responsible. Perhaps the parents might back down. They can convince a JW that college is a waste. A college official will demand a much higher standard of explanation.

    His financial aid will be recalculated. If he has to meek out a life support system, he should remain in college. I was told to get rid of my father's inheiritance. The officer suggested spending the summer in Europe. I never would have thought I could go before graduation. He may receive a more generous financial aid package from a private school that is well-endowed than from a public school. I graduated with a fraction of the costs of my state system. Too many people assume private colleges are unaffordable.

    I believe his major problem is not financial. 18 is so young. He is only on the brink of adulthood. Erik Erikson said that in our culture, adolescene continues into the 30s. He needs tons of love and affirmation. Faced with this dilemma, he is going to have go-getter skills when he graduates.

    Did you see the post of a WT flyer yesterday that JWs equated a teacher suggesting college with wild orgies, drugs, and pornography. You have to spent time in this religion to fully comprhend the higher education problem.

    Believe me, I had a tough time going to college. I was going to go to court to block my father from pulling me out of the college track in high school to working part-time as a grocery store bagger where he could monitor me. I fought back but the price was high.

  • Alfred
    Alfred

    band... thanks for your insight and advice... much appreciated

  • finally awake
    finally awake

    The college financing system is stacked against kids whose parents refuse to help, despite having money. I hope he finds a way to keep going.

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