by Alfred 27 Replies latest jw experiences
Great advice already, telling his story to advisors and financial aid departments could get him help.
My other suggestion would be to check out National Guard or branches of the military. Many of my classmates have advanced educations paid in full by rather short military service.
I know it isn't easy. I had huge student loans to repay when I graduated from college. I also had a family to support. But it's so worth it to get an education and a career that satisfies your soul.
It has been just over a year since my final payment on the student loan was made. I can't put in to words what a sense of accomplishment that was to truly earn my own education and pay for it all on my own. It made me appreciate the value of it that much more, particularly after hearing JWs taunting me that I was wasting my time going back to school because Armageddon Was Just Around The Corner™.
There may be scholarships or grants that do not have to be repaid to help your nephew financially. He may need to plan to have a lighter course load to allow him to earn some extra money to pay for books and tuition, and also take some summer courses to help lighten the course load even more. Have him check into getting second hand textbooks (same edition as his courses require) from students who may have dropped a course or no longer need the textbooks.
Can you help him out in some way? It doesn't have to be financial. It could be to have him over for meals regularly, to make sure he's getting enough to eat (because we all know the limited nutrional value of ramen noodles... ) or to get him some toiletries (shampoo, soap, deodorant, toothpaste, etc. because they get de-prioritized when cash flow is limited) or just to hang out with him and let him know that you aren't going to leave him in the lurch like his parents did. I used to buy a chicken on the day the supermarket marked down their meat by 50% to make room for the fresh stuff. I'd roast it on the first day and we'd have maybe half of it for dinner, and half would be leftovers. I'd make sandwiches and a casserole with half the leftovers, and I'd use the carcass to make a big pot chicken stock and put the remaining leftovers in soup, using some celery, onion and carrots and leftover pasta. I paid maybe $5 for the chicken and fed my family of 5 for almost a whole week. If your nephew is willing to learn some basic cooking skills, he can stretch his food budget a long way.
Could you offer him room and board without creating a bigger problem for him with his family? He may really appreciate that someone in his family wants to help him succeed in college, even if you're limited in the way you can make things a bit easier for him.
Is your nephew in the US? If so, there is a form in the financial aid office tha he should complete asap. My cousin is a head honcho at a state university. I'll contact her for advice and let you know as soon as I hear from her.
FASA form. There is now a uniform form. It is available online. YOu can also submit it online.
Yes, it's disgusting what his parents have done in shunning him. But as regards his being alone in paying for his own higher education. Welcome to the real world. I'm with Wasanelder Once: Many parents cannot And/or will not pay for their children's higher education. Part time work gets a large proportion of people through their tertiary studies. In some cases, parental inability or refusal to pay may qualify the applicant for a student loan. Here in New Zealand the loans are interest free and you pay them back in accord with the rate of your subsequent salary.
It's a cruel world, and while JWs are perhaps the group we identify with most when it comes to children bearing the consequences of parental indifference to higher education, interestingly, there are large proportions of young ones who make their own through it - one way or another.
ALFRED- I'm so sorry your nephew was cut off by his JW parents. Your nephew is correct- " There ought to be a law against this ". This same thing happened to my JW son from my JW ex-wife . We had been divorced 5 years and she cut him off at age 18 and kicked him out of the house because he stopped attending meetings. And I was only so glad to have him move in with me ! My own JW older sister cut off her own daughter -my niece , as well when she started going to a university at age 22. It's disgusting.
I'm sure you are being very supportive to your nephew at this critical time of need for him. Please continue to do so. Being cut off is extremely hard for anyone, but when they are 18 yrs.old it's even MORE difficult because a person hasn't grown up emotionally all the way yet. They need really caring adults in their lives. Please keep us posted on how this progresses. Good luck to you Alfred and please give a big hug to your nephew for us. Gawd knows I've seen this enough times in my own JW family. It makes me sick
Thanks everyone for your supportive comments and suggestions...
Wasanelder... You're right... and he does support himself by working at a hardware store (and I also found out that he now has a room mate... an ex-JW also! ... so his rent is now cut in half)
New Chapter and Toth... Thanks for sharing your sentiments. Believe me, he has no intentions of ever dropping out. If anything, this whole situation has made him even more determined not to fail.
Breakfast... I swear he must be lurking on this site... I texted him some of the suggestions from this thread, but he had already visited his college's financial aid office and will soon be getting an additional $6,700 on a student loan.
Wisdom and Band On the Run... You're right... He realizes that the best choice financially would have been to fade much later on and stay at home but he simply couldn't put up with all the ridiculous restrictions... he now feels like a caged bird that has just been set free, so I doubt he'll ever consider moving back or going back to meetings... ain't gonna happen...
Billy... Thanks... excellent suggestion! ... but I think he'll probably require about 3 more years of deprogramming before considering military service.
Scully... thanks for your insight and support!... I'm on top of it... I do intend to help him financially, but only if/when he is on the brink of going broke... I think the worst thing I can do right now is help him prematurely... there's nothing like having a sense of pride that comes from knowing you put yourself through college with help from no one... I'd really like him to feel that satisfaction... if he fails, I'll be there for him... but this kid is determined... something tells me I won't need to send him a dime (until he graduates)
Jamie... Thanks!!! that would be most appreciated.
Flipper... I will ... thanks!
Thanks to everyone else as well... just a note to clarify... his parents were only helping him pay for college... the portion that he simply couldn't cover... but with the student loan he applied for yesterday, he has bought himself some time... thanks again!!!
Sorry about your nephew's situation.
I've said before, and I will say it again-young people in this religion are GOING TO WAKE UP!!! This generation (people born after 1990) are NOT standing for what this religion stands for. I was born in 1983, so I can only hope that people that were born around the time I was born will wake up too. Not that I'm too much older then your nephew but I can only hope so. I've tried talking to my JW's cousins; I can only hope that they will listen.
