WTS position on DF'ed family members

harleybear

What is the WTS going to do if a non DF'ed individual is the primary care provided for say an elderly family member or a handicapped child or parent? Many of us are in the position that without our assisting these folks they would have no where to turn. Does not the Bible admonish a responsiblity to these loved ones?? Based on recent talks and WT articles will the WTS hold harmless individuals who turn their back on such needy ones and say it is okay that they live under a bridge

steve2

Your question is a very apt one. Imagine being an elderly parent disfellowshipped for apostasy years ago and now in the early stages of, say, vascular dementia and your adult children live nearby. They've shunned you for years. I have a feeling that if you're wealthy, they'll come sniffing around and endeavor to met minimum standards of "looking after"you.

I could not imagine anything more terrifyingly dreadful that an elderly disfellowshipped parent being at the mercy of his or her uber JW chidlren. I think I would have a legal advanced directive forbidding them from taking over my care in the even that I needed nursing care. I'd rather be in the hands of strangers than those of children who have rejected me and look after me out of filial obligation.

the truth is mine

I have not posted here before but I there is always a first. Here is what the elders manual gives for refrence material in this type of a situation. They may not like the association but the fact is they can't do anything about it. Even a person who holds positions within the cong. would be hard to remove. They may try to bully or pressure someone to stop but if you are informed you can shut them down.

*** lv p. 208 How to Treat a Disfellowshipped Person ***
What if a relative is disfellowshipped? In such a case, the close bond between family members can pose a real test of loyalty. How should we treat a disfellowshipped relative? We cannot here cover every situation that may arise, but let us focus on two basic ones.
In some instances, the disfellowshipped family member may still be living in the same home as part of the immediate household. Since his being disfellowshipped does not sever the family ties, normal day-to-day family activities and dealings may continue. Yet, by his course, the individual has chosen to break the spiritual bond between him and his believing family. So loyal family members can no longer have spiritual fellowship with him. For example, if the disfellowshipped one is present, he would not participate when the family gets together to study the Bible. However, if the disfellowshipped one is a minor child, the parents are still responsible to instruct and discipline him. Hence, loving parents may arrange to conduct a Bible study with the child.

*** km 8/02 p. 4 pars. 9-11 Display Christian Loyalty When a Relative Is Disfellowshipped ***
9 Relatives Not in the Household: “The situation is different if the disfellowshipped or disassociated one is a relative living outside the immediate family circle and home,” states The Watchtower of April 15, 1988, page 28. “It might be possible to have almost no contact at all with the relative. Even if there were some family matters requiring contact, this certainly would be kept to a minimum,” in harmony with the divine injunction to “quit mixing in company with anyone” who is guilty of sinning unrepentantly. (1 Cor. 5:11) Loyal Christians should strive to avoid needless association with such a relative, even keeping business dealings to an absolute minimum.—See also The Watchtower of September 15, 1981, pages 29-30.
10 The Watchtower addresses another situation that can arise: “What if a close relative, such as a son or a parent who does not live in the home, is disfellowshiped and subsequently wants to move back there? The family could decide what to do depending on the situation. For example, a disfellowshiped parent may be sick or no longer able to care for himself financially or physically. The Christian children have a Scriptural and moral obligation to assist. (1 Tim. 5:8) . . . What is done may depend on factors such as the parent’s true needs, his attitude and the regard the head of the household has for the spiritual welfare of the household.”—The Watchtower of September 15, 1981, pages 28-9.
11 As for a child, the same article continues: “Sometimes Christian parents have accepted back into the home for a time a disfellowshiped child who has become physically or emotionally ill. But in each case the parents can weigh the individual circumstances. Has a disfellowshiped son lived on his own, and is he now unable to do so? Or does he want to move back primarily because it would be an easier life? What about his morals and attitude? Will he bring ‘leaven’ into the home?—Gal. 5:9.”

hamsterbait

Witchtower quotes another Witchtower as if they are accessing Holy Scripture:

The Scriptures they quote dont actually apply in a family situation, only the articles they tag them onto.

HB

OnTheWayOut

I am not sure at all what you are asking and where that leads but....

WTS is all about passing the buck. They don't want to help anyone. It is a rare rare case indeed when any financial help is given from congregation funds. In any case where a JW needs help, they don't give a rat's ass if their family are JW, ex-JW, worldly. They insist that their member approach their own family and call upon the family for help. That way, the congregation doesn't have to do anything.

The elders also mention the needs of a member to other members so that Sister Sally and Brother Dick can make meals or provide some assistance, so that AGAIN, the congregation doesn't have anything to do with assisting.

bigmac

my situation is the opposite. i'm 32 + years DA'd--and proud of it. my wife has never been a jw.

my dad--91 years old next b/d--is very active--gives talks-- goes doorknocking--in all weather--used to be an elder.

he never shunned me.

now he lives with me 4 days a week--and is likely to get more dependant on me. i'm all hes got.

what are they going to do--DF him?

DesirousOfChange

what are they going to do--DF him?

Bigmac, no, they'll be fine with him getting assistance from you. After all, you've lived a despicable life ignoring God in every other aspect of your life (their view, not mine) so it's about time that you do something good in your life and care for your elderly father. You do realize it is SCRIPTURAL that you assist your family members, regardly of your faith (or lack of it). Sometimes even wicked people (like those in government) do good things for others. It's nice that you are finally showing some Philia Love to your own dad. (Plus now they would have to check in on him, or haul his @$$ back and forth to meetings, etc.)

DOC

bigmac

it will be intersting if he does end up living with me full time. if i gets too frail to attend meetings--i wonder if they will make home shepherding visit.

tenyearsafter

The JW mentality is unique...it is all about spinning things to one's advantage. I am sure some JW's would step up and help a DF'ed relative. The Elder's Manual leaves some "wiggle" room:

" . . . What is done may depend on factors such as the parent’s true needs, his attitude and the regard the head of the household has for the spiritual welfare of the household.”

When the shoe is on the other foot, the JW's would absolutely expect the DF'ed person to care and provide for their JW relative. I can speak from experience on this one. As I have mentioned in previous posts, my JW mother relies on me to take care of many of her needs, as well as visit her on a regular basis (as the Congregation has pretty much forgotten her), yet when I am not around she wastes no time bad-mouthing me and telling everyone who is near, my wife included, what a bad and evil person I am. It is all about them, and not about doing the "right thing".

yourmomma

in light of the most recent watchtower about having zero contact, i would not be suprised if they cracked down. when i was in, we got grief for buying groceries for my very sick da'd mother in law.

WTS position on DF'ed family members

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