Some business opportunities unfolded sometime back that required my full attention and excessive work hours that ended up putting a strain on me. I started taking the edge off by drinking alcohol, too much alcohol. The cycle of working and drinking ended up destroying my spirituality and I eventually completely quit attending meetings and every other aspect of Kingdom service.
But pay attention to yourselves that your hearts never become weighed down with overeating and heavy drinking and anxieties of life, and suddenly that day be instantly upon you as a snare. Luke 21:34-35
The business prospects have successfully resolved themselves and don't demand too much of my time but I haven't stopped drinking too much alcohol.
I've attempted to rebuild my spirituality five times to date and ended up relapsing after a couple of weeks into an evening of entertainment and drinking.
I've always been intrigued by entertainment and music that's dark, violent and disturbing. A couple of movies that preoccupied and stood out in my mind as brilliant works of cinematic art were Natural Born Killers and Requiem for a Dream. That's part of my problem.
Even as one of Jehovah's Witnesses, I've occasionally reverted back to music I was drawn to in my rebellious teenager years that went as far as to glorify drug abuse, graphic violence and even satanism. This type of entertainment is actually quite popular in contemporary society and appeals to the imperfect flesh.
I often sign on to this forum while indulging in other forms of entertainment on my computer. So far, I perceive information disseminated by the “evil slave class” as intriguing, but it seems that those that were once Jehovah's Witnesses on this forum have made an irreversible decision about avoiding their prior faith and have constituted themselves as an enemy to Jehovah's Witnesses. Why is this? Some ex-JWs have been members of this forum for over ten years and continue to read and analyze information published by Jehovah's Witnesses like some sort of obsession. Why don't you broaden your horizons toward the overall paradigm of religion and belief?
I have a few people on my Facebook page that aren’t Jehovah's Witnesses anymore, but they don't actively oppose JWs on the internet (not to my knowledge anyway).