JW's 'put off living'

by Lady Viola 26 Replies latest jw friends

• 

  Lady Viola

  I was reading a book and read the following quote:

  ‎"One of the most tragic things I know about human nature is

  that all of us tend to put off living. We are all dreaming

  of some magical rose garden over the horizon - instead of

  enjoying the roses that are blooming outside our windows today."

  ~Dale Carnegie~

  I think this discribes the JW life. They really 'put off living' sometimes with their rules about the things that gives us joy in life. And they all do it because of 'some magical rose garden over the horizon', the Paradise. They put their lives on hold, because of this life in the future.

  Learn to play the piano? 'Oh no, I will have plenty of time to do that in Paradise'

  Did you sell your sailing boat? 'Yes, well... I really love it, but I don't have enough time. I will build a huge sailing boat in Paradise and will travel the world'

  So did you choose your university yet?'No, I want to be a full time pioneer and spend my time on this earth wisely. I will have enough time to study things in eternity in Paradise'

  And do you want children? 'We have decided we are not going to try to have children. We want to spend our time in Jehovah's organisation as Bethelites. I love children though, and will have probably 8 in Paradise'

  Would you like to go out with this colleague that is really in to you? 'No I can't. I know I'm 45 and still a virgin, but if I can't marry 'in the Lord' then I will wait and Jehovah will bless me with a husband in Paradise.'

  I hope that the people that leave this organisation, don't spend too much time being agry about the past but instead 'enjoy the roses that are blooming outside your windows today'.
• 

  Witness My Fury

  Guilty as charged
• 

  Aussie Oz

  oh so true...

  i was ready to die and too scared to 'live'...

  Oz
• 

  Alfred

  Even in paradise, JWs will have to put off living for a thousand years while they clean up the earth and prove themselves worthy... I can't believe I used to believe in this crap wholeheartedly...
• 

  AnnOMaly

  Totally agree with you, LV. There's always been a 'treading water' mindset. All too often, dreams and aspirations are indeed put on hold.

  I know somebody who was a talented pianist as a girl, but her uber-JW father stopped her lessons because he could see she was becoming too involved with them. She was heartbroken at the time, I understand. But she's had a long-time 'theocratic' career - pio, married late, childless, middle-aged, still a pio, so it's all good ;->

  We all know couples (usually pio's) who squashed their natural desires to start a family because the end was so soon and they can raise their kids in paradise. Often (not always), despite saying they have 'no regrets,' there is a sadness behind the eyes once they reach advancing age.

  As far as having kids ourselves, we weren't the types to say 'never,' but we also once hoped the 'new system' would be here before we had them. My body clock was ticking, however. After much soul-searching and depression over the conflicts between wanting kids but being told how unwise it would be in "this wicked system," I concluded that, if I didn't and I grew old, with still no sign of the New World, I would look back and bitterly regret it. One of the best decisions we made to go ahead.

  And it might well be that some opportunities have passed me by (although, over the years, I've tried belatedly to seize hold of a few), but our kids ... as long as we can help them pursue their talents and realize some of their dreams, I'll be happy.
• 

  Lady Viola

  Exactly, your life in 'on hold'.

  When I used to work for one of the carehomes Jah-Jireh in England, there was this one lovely sister who have been a pioneer all her life. She was still single, so only sisters where allowed to help her wash and dress (I thought that was lovely, but SO sad), no brothers. The didn't have kids or grandchildren or friends that were coming to see her. She was completely alone. When I looked at the picture of her in her room, when she was young and pretty sitting on her bike with a ministry bag on her shoulder, it saddened me so so much. She didn't want to go to the meetings anymore at one point because she 'was tired'. I think she passed away be now, but I loved her dearly and she had such a wicked sense of humour. ;-) Just the way I like it. ;-)
• 

  Lady Viola

  Oops, double post.
• 

  troubled mind

  So sad ,and so true ! I was asked by a psychologist, "What were my hopes and dreams ?" ....I could not answer because as a young child I learned to squash everyone of those thoughts before they matured . He could not understand when I tried to explain to him how my thinking had been affected becuse of the JW religion .

  I have a hard time even now following through with an interest ,but I am trying .
• 

  truth_b_known

  It truly upset me to hear Witnesses say,"This isn't the real life?" Well, what the hell is it?

  Living a highly restricted lifestyle in hopes of receiving eternal life after death is no different than gambling.
• 

  AnnOMaly

  "What were my hopes and dreams ?" ....I could not answer because as a young child I learned to squash everyone of those thoughts before they matured

  troubled mind - similar with me. I'm now at a kind of crossroads in my life where I am 'freer' to pursue an interest to a deeper level (Higher Ed. perhaps?) or re-train and spread my wings a little, but it is hard to figure out what I want to do and then commit to it.