JW's 'put off living'

by Lady Viola 26 Replies latest jw friends

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  Heartofaboy

  Witnesses are taught by the borg & its rep's the CO's & DO's to

  'View this life like the apostle Paul did, as just a lot of refuse'.

  'That this life offers nothing of lasting value, so give all your time & assets to the WT cause to prove you are doing & giving your ALL to Jehovah.'

  'Could you stand before Jehovah & have confidence that he will know you have given your ALL in your service to him?'

  No wonder so many Jdubs have mental anguish & feel loaded down to the point of mental & physical breakdown.

  Jesus said his load was light & that it was the pharisees that loaded the people down with their restrictions, rules & traditions of men.
• 

  ShirleyW

  I find it interesting that the single sisters are waiting for the New System for a husband, the "young sisters" that I grew up wi th are now in their 50's, I'm sure they didn't think they would be waiting this long to find their true love.
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  Lozhasleft

  So true. And some of us to our shame encouraged our kids to do similar. Tragic.

  Loz x
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  Amelia Ashton

  I agree much of the time I would put off doing something that I expected to be able to do "in the new system".

  Becoming a really proficient piano player was one of my goals. I already had the piano, just not the time required to really dedicate myself to learning it competently. However, I would never have had the courage to emmigrate with two young children to a foreign country without a belief that a superior being would take care of me once there.

  If I had been an atheist back then I don't think I would have done it.
• 

  Jim_TX

  There is so much truth (sorry for the pun) to this simple statement.

  When I was a kiddo, I grew up in a home with 5 siblings and my mom. She had put her life 'on hold' the day my father and one sister were killed in an auto accident, and expected all of her children to do so, too.

  I was number 5 of 7 kids. When I turned 21, I realized that I liked girls, and wasn't going to be able to put my life on hold until after Armageddon.

  I remember one of my older sisters saying, "I want to wait until 'the new system', when my daddy will be able to walk me down the aisle." She said this to another JW when asked when she was going to get married - or somesuch. Just recently, I mentioned this to her, and she denied saying it, but I remember it clearly.

  So. As a result, my oldest sister passed on (she was about 50 to 55 years old at the time), single, and never having had a date with a guy (outside of the living room with everyone sitting there staring at the poor fella).

  My youngest sister passed on a few years ago (she was also about 50 to 55 years old at the time), single, and also never having dated a man.

  My younger brother finally woke up (partially - he's still a JW), and left home and got married.

  My youngest brother, who is 52, is still living at home with my 2nd oldest sister. Both are getting up there in years... my sister has to be something like... oh, I'd say 63-ish.

  Their lives are 'on hold' until something better comes along like the big 'A', and the 'new system'.

  But that's their life-choice. We are all given the ability to make choices.

  I saw my youngest brother the other day. He is five years younger than I am. He looks five years older. Everyone that saw him thought that he was an older brother. Nope. Not sure why he looks older... perhaps he was ill recently, or perhaps it is his life-style.

  Regards,

  Jim TX
• 

  BluesBrother

  I recently posted this on another thread :

  "As a dub I was taught to live for the future, endure the present and not take the obvious steps that would have made life better, a better way is to think as does Dr Wayne Dyer :

  "The message is clear 'do it!' Develop an appreciation for the present moment. seize every second of your life and savour it.Value your present moments. Using them up in self-defeating ways means that you have lost them forever...."

  So many of us can now look back on a wasted life...That is a sad thing to say, but true. Some people waste their lives in prison or ruin their health with drugs - others waste their life by voluntarily submitting to a prison-like environment where one is looking forward all the time to a reward that never comes to be.

  We were told to develop an eternal viewpoint because attempts to make life better now would be like the proverbial "shifting the deck chairs on the Titanic". The trouble is, that is just not true. We do not have eternity, we have seventy or eighty years to do something with - so make the most of it!
• 

  EmptyInside

  This hits close to home. I did put off doing so much. And I can relate of not really bothering to have any dreams,since I feel I didn't have a right to pursue them. I was to put kingdom interests first.

  Some say being a Witness is the best way of life,well,the Witnesses say it. But,next time I hear someone say that,I'll have to say,some may argue that it keeps one from living up to their full potential and kills their dreams.

  That's why I felt like I was suffocating and trapped. And I knew there was no chance of me ever meeting anyone while still a Witness.

  I feel now I have many more options to explore and life to start living. Sometimes,it's hard with all the hang-ups I have had being a Witness,but I'm getting there.
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  PaintedToeNail

  Lady Viola-very thought provoking post. I've been reading a lot of self help books lately, and have had the conversations with my husband about us being able to come up with ideas of what we want to do in life. Trying to live in the present is quite difficult for those raised a JW. Trying to be positive about things is also a challenge, as we were supposed to find wickedness in everything but our religion, but I think I'm succeeding, most of the time.

  AnnOMaly-I am so glad you decided to go against those in the cong. and have children, you are right, those who sacrificed having children for the paradise dream, do very often regret their decision, but it is too late to be remedied. I have friends in that position. Trying to encourage your kids to be happy in this life is really difficult when their father is really steeped in all the traditions of men of the GB, but I try to counter-balance my husband every time I can.
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  winstonchurchill

  Excellent post.

  A few days ago I posted something related:

  "...the inabilty to see beyond a few years. Where do I want to be in 10 or 20 years. We were not prepared for that (the end would come in 75, right?). So all was about short term goals (prefereably pionnering goals). We were not prepared to see parents get old and die; we were not prepared to plan, age, retire."
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  No Room For George

  I'm not really into the whole Facebook thing, but occasionally a name of someone I knew from years gone by will surface in my head and I'll do FB search for them. When doing that, I end up seeing their friends list which will often include other people I've known throughout the years. It's fascinating to see what they look like, what they've done with their life, and as an active Jehovah's Witness, I can't tell you how often I feel as if I'm being passed by in life all the while waiting on "new world" or the "new system of things" or "seeking the real life" supposedly right around the corner. It's very suffocating feeling in the sense that you feel the need to panic as if you're going under water and cannot swim but everybody else is able to tread it. It's very discouraging at times.

  There's an old Geto Boys song I like called, Aint With Being Broke, and Scarface has a line on there that goes........

  Without them dollar signs, it's like living and dying at the same time.

  That's how I feel about being a JW at times. Granted life could be worse, could have a deadly disease, or be paralyzed, or be in Somalia, and I'm sure many would gladly trade their existence for that of my circumstances, but that doesn't mean being an American born-in JW is anything to brag about.