You would return to Jehovah's Witnesses if... (page 3)

Sulla

Really, I dont think I can beat the idea that they turn everything into a musical. That's the funniest damn thing I ever read.

Only way I'd go back is if God actually parted the sky, sent down a magical dove thats super huge and have it land on where ever the Watchtower's main building is going to be and said "Hey, its not so bad once you get passed all the craziness. I'll even give you the 24oz glass of kool-aid with ice."

then... I'd play video games for about an hour or so before I answered.

AllTimeJeff

1) End enforced shunning.

2) Allow blood transfusions

3) Stay out of the bedroom. Married couples can have marital fun in the ways they see fit.

4) One meeting a week, maybe two, and both should be optional.

5) Just admit that "Jehovah" YHWH is NOT in the New Testament.

6) Own up to your mistakes and false prophecies, and apologize for them.

I am sure I will think of others.

av8orntexas

- They stopped making field service a requirement among members. Make no mistake you are REQUIRED to do it.

- Stopped their silly views on dating,friendships and relationships with people in general. I know a 37 year old woman who married her 1st boyfriend ever. And she is divorced from him. She has no plans to marry until she meets the right guy to marry again. But she also hasn't dated a soul ! Alot of these people need to get out and date. Learn what they like,learn more about themselves and how to interact with the opposite sex. Rather than the robotic and programmed train of thought most go about in relationships with people.

Everything is conditional. Black and White, no gray area with the Dubs.

-They relaxed their facial hair rules. While they're at it. That stupid rule about not wearing shirts,hats or anything with logos at the KH, quickbuilds or places of worship. Frankly if I want to rock my Red Sox lid at a quickbuild I should be able to. Damn you all !

-All this nepotism came to an end. Can't tell you how many hoops I jumped through,grass I cut, toilets I cleaned, and sucking up I did in the name of reaching out. It's like the country club you'll NEVER get into because there's always an requirement thats new,or you don't meet. WTF ???? Either the brother has good character or not. That should be it. I see no difference with them, and trying to join a college fraternity.

Phizzy

Now I would never join the kind of group that would have me. (thanks to Groucho for that)

ziddina

Hah!! I don't think anyone can top Wha Happened?'s "only if they turn all their publications into musicals"...!!

As for me - I was gunna say, "Not even for a billion dollars!!"

Then I read everyone else's posts, and they inspired me... I REALLY like the ideas in the OP, but, for me...

Only if they dumped that damn death-oriented Middle-Eastern desert male volcano "god"; came to their senses and began worshipping goddesses; preached rational population reduction; all JW couples only had ONE child each; and they started cleaning up parks, forests, rivers, trails, and planting trees every Sunday...

Kojack57

Would return if they lined up all the pediaphiles they are hiding and executed them by firing squad and donated all their billions to those who were abused by them.

You would return to Jehovah's Witnesses if...