@Celestial:
Did you ever have a problem with one of Jehovah's Witnesses?...
This experience was partly my fault. There was this really nice looking sister with an unbelieving husband who was an alcoholic at a congregation I attended.... Once she asked me for my e-mail address to send me information about a gathering she was having at her house....
When her husband acquired knowledge of the correspondence, I received a very nasty e-mail from him accusing me of stalking and harassing his family. He said, if I ever contacted anyone in his family by any means, he would take legal action against me. This was total BS, because every conversation we had was mutual and very friendly. I kept a record of the correspondence....
This sister's husband attended the meetings for the next few weeks and apologized to me.... The funny thing is that none of this would have happened if it wasn't for e-mail.
You didn't describe a problem with one of Jehovah's Witnesses. Your problem seemed to have been one that involved the husband of one of Jehovah's Witnesses. Let's forget the fact that this sister's husband isn't one of Jehovah's Witnesses. You do know that despite what his wife may have confided with you about his alcoholism or drinking problem, one, the fact is that you knew at the moment that this married woman had asked you for your email address that she was -- repeat after me -- a married woman.
It is said that hindsight is 20/20, and while this is so, we do not need to discuss what transpired later after this married woman's husband got wind of your email addressed to his wife. What needs to be discussed is what it was about this married woman that made you ignore what you knew her to be -- again -- a married woman. Let's just say for a moment that you might describe this sister as drop-dead gorgeous. Let's also say that this sister is married to one of the elders in your local congregation and you and everyone in the congregation knows that the two of you are friends.
Now there's really nothing wrong with the two of you being friends or being known by others to be friends, since when people know why the two of you seem to them to be so "chummy" with one another, even the husband will assuage the fears of those concerned that there might be some hanky-panky going on between a particular individual and his wife by telling them that you and she have a best-of-three chess rivalry with several of the friends, and not just with brothers, and that this brother always checks with him as to whether he's ok with the brother's coming over on whatever day he and his wife are planning about best-of-three. IOW, the brother is giving respect to the marriage arrangement.
If the brother is going to be away from the house when the other brother and his wife are planning to get together, the sister's husband is going to respect the marriage arrangement, and tell the brother that he and his wife will have to reschedule. If the brother is going to be away from the house when the other brother and his wife are planning to get together, and he says it's ok because he won't be gone for very long, the other brother should know that this reckless statement of his could lead to a damaged reputation, and should have instead told the brother that he would arrange with his wife to reschedule. But he doesn't do this.
What we have here is a reckless statement and a reckless liaison with a brother's wife at her home at a time when he knows the sister's husband will not be home, when all three of them are all supposed to know Jehovah, not to mention the potential of Bro. TellAllino and Sis GottaTell happening by during the hour or so that the brother is not at home, and being informed by his wife that he's expected home shortly, and despite their both being told that they can wait there until he gets home, neither of them want to wait since they now have some gossip to report the next time anyone should see you and this sister chatting one another up somewhere, and As the Kingdom Hall Turns eventually leads to a tap on the shoulder by an elder arising out of mounting speculation over appearances.
The marriage arrangement gives to the husband prerogatives that his wife does not have. One of these prerogatives is the headship principle, which assigns headship over his wife to the husband. This principle is in effect whether the husband of a wife is a believer or an unbeliever, so that if a wife should begin a Bible study at her home with one of her own children or with someone else when her husband is present, her husband should be the one to petition Jehovah in prayer, not the wife, but if her husband should be an unbeliever, then she should cover her head when offering prayer, which demonstrates respect for the marriage arrangement on her part and also silently informs her unbelieving husband every time she does so that she is doing this out of respect for his headship over her for a witness.
What you describe in your message is a failure on your part to respect the marriage arrangement because you gave your email address to the sister that requested it of you, knowing that she was married, when what you should have done is told the sister that you didn't feel comfortable encroaching upon the rights of another brother by inserting yourself into a situation that involves two other people that are dating one another. Dating is a prelude to marriage, and even though, as it turned out, these two people decided to end their courtship, you should have known that you were being asked to "run interference" between these two people because a third person -- this sister -- thought that one of them was bad association, so your willingness to help this sister run interference was to encroach upon the rights of another brother.
You know that giving to anyone your email address is no different than giving to someone your home telephone number or your cell phone number, except here we are talking about a written communication instead of oral communication, and you should have known that it was likely that the sister's unbelieving husband could get wind of and intercept any email messages that exchanged between you and his wife, so for what reason would you have thought it to have been ok for you to have disrespected the marriage arrangement in this way?
Let me digress here a moment to point out the fact that I did note your use of "BS" in your message, the abbreviation for "bullshit, but how can you conclude that the husband's email to you "was total BS," when you know that you never asked him what his feelings were about your giving his wife your email address? "BS" is a word that some use to describe behavior they believe to be unacceptable, but your use of it seems to me to be a synonym for "lies" or "nonsense," but in view of what Ephesians 4:29 says, wouldn't it be more appropriate to use one of these synonyms, rather than an obscenity? End of digression.
Clearly, you had no way of knowing exactly how this sister's husband would react to another man sending his wife emails, did you? The good thing is that you are alive, and he didn't just get out of Folsom State Prison here in California, having acquired clever ways after serving 20 years or so there to discard the bodies of men that he feels do not give to him the respect that he deserves. He also seems to have forgiven you your trespasses based on bad judgment and recklessness on your part, which you admit was "partly [your] fault," although I see this as being all your fault. The unbelieving husband of this sister was entitled to the same modicum of respect that you would give to a married brother if his wife had asked you for your email address, correct?
This is essentially what Jehovah's Witnesses speculate is going to be the way in which we will live in the earthly realm of God's kingdom during Judgment Day and beyond, and while no one that is disfellowshipped for wrongdoing on this side of Judgment Day are in jeopardy of losing their salvation (as seems to be the common wisdom of some here on JWN), since a disfellowshipped brother is not a disfellowshipped unbeliever and a reinstated brother is not rebaptized, but such misconduct during Judgment Day could result in judgment ("the second death"), so we really need to learn these things now.
Unlike the world that is alienated from Jehovah and doesn't know him, we do not respect the husband of a sister just because he is her husband, or just because he is a brother, but at all times it is our endeavor to respect the marriage arrangement. You do not need to be an elder to know these things, for elders are known to do stupid things, too, but what is needed is respect for sacred things, and the marriage arrangement is sacred.
@djeggnog
