We both waited. Never went beyond kissing.... although we both also indulged in other, uh, frowned upon solo adventures after our dates.
Sex Before Marriage
by Wishididntknow 33 Replies latest watchtower beliefs
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dozy
Young couple to vicar "Is sex before marriage OK? "
Vicar "As long as it doesn't delay the ceremony."
My rough impression is that most JW courting couples manage to be "good". Though this varies widely from the couples who literally are shadowed by chaperones every second & have never even kissed to those who have done everything other than actual copulation .
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Blind_Of_Lies
We did not wait. We did not wait at all lol. I honestly thought it was a good thing as well. Our wedding was a complete dog and pony show. It's entire purpose was to "praise jah" as my MIL would say. My wife and I were not keen on the religon when we got married and frankly somone tried to stop it every chance they got. Overall our wedding was a complete Cluster F and we hated every second of it. Nothing about it was done for us, it was 100% an appearance thing and a show for the congragation.
I put my foot down durring the planning of it and we sidestepped the elders entirely by refusing to get married in the KH. This caused a huge uproar because obviously anyone who does not get married in a KH will be divorced in a matter of weeks. I held my ground on it, frankly neither of us ever had a desire to get married in that drab boring place called the Kingdom Hall. Frankly I dont think anyone really does and by agreeing to do it you open yourself up to complete elder control.... they then get to dangle the venue over your head.
Its been almost 11 years now... we are still married... we are completely without god in our marriage and we have never been happier.
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Blind_Of_Lies
And seriously... how can you be expected to make a good decision about who to marry if you are never 100% alone with the person until AFTER the wedding? I mean seriously....
We tried the chaparone thing and it was HORRIBLE we couldnt talk about anything without having a 3rd party be involved and then go running back to parents or elders to report whatever they heard. We cut them out almost instantly and then did our own thing. I liked the idea of knowing exactly who I was marrying BEFORE I said "I DO".
I know a lot of people who did it the WT way and ended up wanting out inside of 6 months.
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jemba
My guess is about 70% dont wait.
We didnt but I was stupid and brainwashed enough to dob myself in and get disfellowshipped, Hubby was an unbaptised publisher so he was OK.
Now I have a 16yr old son its hard from my own born-in upbringing to raise him balanced with regards to sex.
Masturbation is completely normal, I would never even try and forbid that and my feeling is that you should be in a serious committed relationship to have sex with someone before marraige, esp as a teenager.
Imagine the dubs hearing me say that? lol
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jemba
Chaperones everywhere you go and the rules in our house were holding hands and sitting together at meetings only when you were engaged. A chaste kiss on the cheek allowed when the wedding date was set.
No wonder we met up in secret whenever and wherever we could. ie like the public toilets at the local park. The places we had sex were very imaginative.
When they try and control every aspect of your life you end up rebelling against it esp when the rules are so ridiculously harsh.
Weve been married for 18 years and never happier without the JW pressure.
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FlyingHighNow
We waited. Big mistake.
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GeneM
My ex and I waited, got to second base though...
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Badfish
Seems like the majority of posters who said they waited were female, and the others male.
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FlyingHighNow
Well, Badfish, we didn't wait by ourselves.