I have a problem any suggestions would be appreciated

by nugget 36 Replies latest jw experiences

  • Quandry
    Quandry

    Maybe you could try to contact your sister beforehand and test the water...ask if for your parent's sake, could everyone just get together as family without reference to anything else (meaning you congo status).

    State that you do not want anyone to make mom or dad feel uncomfortable, and this, after all, is necessary family business. If she is willing, make plans from there.

    Perhaps it would be better to just keep it at family, since sis would have to go against her principles if any other JWs came. Maybe make a CD of family pictures to play in the background,including some from their wedding, or a scrapbook of remembrances.

    I would remind sis that the day is not about you or her...not a time for anyone to get on a pedestal or a "high horse."

    Hope it is a lovely day for your parents.

  • nugget
    nugget

    thank you all for your input it helps to get objective points of view.

  • ruderedhead
  • just Ron
    just Ron

    I am thinking that it may be worth while paying for my parents to have a romantic dinner somewhere nice just the two of them on their anniversay and then hold an informal family gathering at the weekend. I sometimes think I am so close to the mess I can't think rationally.

    Sounds like you have a good idea here. It's hard to think rationally when you are dealing with irrational people. Talk with your parents say you want to celebrate their marrage with family and freinds and want to include everyone in the planning but are afraid some will make things difficult. See if they have any sujestions on how to proceeded Since this is their day.

    Ron

  • Lozhasleft
    Lozhasleft

    Sorry to hear you have these issues to deal with Nugget, especially since you only want to offer kind celebrations to your parents.

    There is potential here maybe for your parents to enjoy more than one celebration though...what about planning one hosted by your own/nuclear family and invite your visiting and inactive sisters and whoever else in terms of family/friends that wouldn't have a problem...that leaves the JW sister free to organise whatever she wants with who she wants, but it doesn't cost you the pleasure of joining in celebrations with your folks?

    Loz x

  • 00DAD
    00DAD

    I'd suggest a heart-to-heart with your parents and disregard your arrogant JW sister's feelings. She obviously doesn't care about yours OR your parents' feelings on the matter. Her only concern is being obedient to the WTBTS.

  • nugget
    nugget

    I think the first thing is to talk to my parents and see what they want. What is frustrating is that lack of communication means that surprise dos are out since how would I know if she was going to surprise them too.

    I often wish my mother ad never got involved in the madness hw different our lives would hv been.

  • moshe
    moshe

    If your Dad wants you to attend, then by all means go to the party. Your father, if he is fair-minded should make it plain to all the siblings that he doesn't support JW shunning, because it interferes with his enjoyment of his life. However, I have seen too many non-JW spouses let the JWs control their family, in order to avoid strife- after all, he is outnumbered. I realized this after I quit the KH and contacted some of those unbelieving spouses in order to get their viewpoint on the JWs. I specifically remember one sister's husband who told me, he had an important phone call to make and firmly closed the door. Never could get him to talk to me.

  • palmtree67
    palmtree67

    I like the idea of talking to your parents first.

    Can you plan a sort of "come and go" function for them? Then if the oldest sister doesn't want to be in the same room as you, she can choose when she wants to come and go, and you and your other sisters can accomodate her. Maybe it would make her feel some bit of CONTROL, which her ego seems to need.

    Then both parents can spend time with all family, albeit at different times on the same day.

    Isn't it an awful situation, though?

    ((( HUG )))

  • cofty
    cofty

    This is a horrible dilemma you have my sympathy. My parents had their 50th last year and my JW sister arranged a big party at the town hall with all their JW friends.

    My two adult children went but my wife and I were not invited, it really affected me more than I thought it might. Seeing all the happy, happy photographs didn't help my mood at all. Stupid cult!

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