It looks like a great article, and it will probably eventually be seen by tens of thousands of people at least and be quite helpful to them. I wasn't trying to diss it in any way; just I read Wezz's thread when it was first posted, and it seemed to me he meant hours, not months?
How to Help Someone Leave - New Article
by jwfacts 32 Replies latest watchtower beliefs
-
-
00DAD
Paul, great article, really good.
Just a couple of suggestions in addition to those already made:
- I think some of the points you made in "The Risk You Take" section should be made earlier, perhaps in the introduction and then expounded upon later as you do.
- Under the "Where Else?" section you provide a link to a very detailed discussion of that subject. But you might just include a brief comment about it on the HTHS page explaining it's "Whom?" not "Where". Then add the link with a "for more details see ..." comment.
- In the intro you state, "cognitive dissonance prevents a person giving up what they are comfortable with ..." While I know what you intended, that is not exactly correct.
Cognitive dissonance is the discomfort caused by holding conflicting cognitions. The theory of cognitive dissonance in social psychology proposes that people have a motivational drive to reduce dissonance by altering existing cognitions or adding new ones to create a consistent belief system. - Festinger, L. (1957). A theory of cognitive dissonance. Stanford, CA: Stanford University Press. - Emphasis added.
It is not the CG, but the desire to avoid it that allows people to believe illogical things rather than making painful choices to confront/accept/deal with reality.
Alice laughed: "There's no use trying," she said; "one can't believe impossible things."
"I daresay you haven't had much practice," said the Queen. "When I was younger, I always did it for half an hour a day. Why, sometimes I've believed as many as six impossible things before breakfast." - The White Queen to Alice in "Alice in Wonderland"
I think a simple rewording of the statement will clarify.
I hope this helps!
00DAD
-
cedars
Great article, well done Paul. Extremely practical and well written, as always.
I also appreciate the links to Studies in the Scriptures, etc.
Cedars
-
steve2
Hi Paul,
The new article is well written, nicely-paced and reassuring. It has a lovely calm tone - and it's great to see an extended article on the witnesses that is very sparing on the use of exclamation marks. I could finf one hyperbolic statement - which is testimony to how thoughtfully written the article is.
The subheading The Risk You Take is highly salient. You speak from experience and observation. Can I offer a suggestion on another matter related to risk that is seldom discussed on forums such as this? It's the concept of 'inoculation': The Watchtower literature slowly prepares readers for possible opposition by 'well-meaning' others to their (new) JW faith. I remember how the Truth book (the blue one from the late 1960s) prepared interested readers for the likelihood of familial opposition to their studying the Bible with the witnesses. It was couched in very soothing but concerned language. Of course this means that most JWs are kind of expecting opposition to their faith. So here's the risk we take when we open up the discussion with our JW family and friends: Our endeavours will most likely be seen as 'opposition' to the truth and what we could view as an attempt to get them to think carefully about JW teachings and practices further inoculates them against opponents and apostates. We in effect become the evidence that they are right. Sometimes in our need to re-connect with family and trying to discuss religion in general, our family perceive us as subtly opposing them and they end up feeling more convinced than before that they must have the truth. It's a tricky topic - but it's an important one because it serves to guide one's approach to talking to JW relatives.
I'm aware that if we become too mindful of potential barriers to trying to reach JWs we could end up saying nothing (which in some instances in probably the most sensible course). Yet, knowing what the barriers are need not paralyze us but remind us of the need to proceed with awareness of the need not to be too direct or provide too much information. You do touch on this nicely throughout the article - but it bears mentioning in connection to the concept of inoculation.
A great article!
-
jwfacts
Thank you for the comments and editing advice. I will try to incorporate the suggestions over the next few days.
-
lilbluekitty
Do you or someone else know any tips to help my mom? She's a born-in like me, in her 50s and has never really been "outside." I sent her another Bible translation (ESV because it's easy to read and very literal) and she seemed happy, but then told me "Psalm 83:18 isn't accurate" (since it doesn't say Jehovah). Sometimes she seems like part of her believes it's not the truth but I have to be so careful what I say because if I go one step too far she gets all uber-dub on me, like right now she's pioneering and bragging about it to me, but before she'd been telling me how depressing everything is in her hall. It's like she wants to tell me but is afraid.
-
iCeltic
Superb article, Paul.
-
robB
Well done!
-
jwfacts
lilbluekitty, try working out what is keeping your mother in. As the beginning of the article suggests, just ask her "why does she think it is the truth?". Get her to tell you how she feels without even responding or arguing. Until you find out what is holding her in, you won't know how to help her.
It sound like she has her doubts, but they are outweighed by her fear of leaving. The doubts are the wedge that you can work on, but you need to then provide comfort for her fears. She probably is scared of losing her friends and losing hope in everlasting life, so you need to reassure her that you are there for her and that hope of everlasting life is not just the domain of JWs.
if I go one step too far she gets all uber-dub on me
That is very common. As soon as their beliefs are threatened they switch over into the indoctrination. That is when they no longer are thinking about what you are saying, and time to end the conversation.
-
steve2
That is very common. As soon as their beliefs are threatened they switch over into the indoctrination. That
is when they no longer are thinking about what you are saying, and time to end the conversation.
An astute observation jwfacts. Sometimes a JW will have a bit of a moan and groan about the organization but it is not necessarily a reliable indication that they are questioning the organization.
In my younger years as a JW, one of my JW aunts complained to me about not being able to throw a birthday for her daughter - my cousin - who was about to turn 13. She said it would be nice to just throw a party so she could remember the start of her offical teenage years. She implied that it was no big a deal and resented the fact that she would be adversely judged by the brothers if she did throw such a party. I felt sorry for her...and I was audacious enough to suggest she throw such a party on the quiet. I was shocked when she glared back at me and declared that her conscience would never allow her to do such a thing and how dare I suggest it in the first place. She told my JW mother (who laughed with me about it later on). Boy did I misread the sign there. I was also shaken by her sudden about-turn because I have an unmistakable memory of her expressing some really critical views about "the brothers".
We humans are very complex beings at the most favorable of times let alone when a controlling religion adds to the confusion!