Memorial Attendance – Need an Advice Please

by Yan Bibiyan 16 Replies latest watchtower beliefs

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  Yan Bibiyan

  Quick background info – I am an UBM, studied somewhat, never baptized. Mrs. Bibyan is a successful fader – her last KH attendance was the “Special Talk” after last year’s memorial. No grief from the local congo for missing; the Elderette she was friends with would call or stop by once in a while, but no harassment.

  The other day, Mrs. tells me out of the blue she wants to go to the Memorial. I am OK with it and told her in no uncertain terms that will tag along, but two options kinda emerge in my head:

  A. Since she is for all intents and purposes “out” and pretty much faded, try to dissuade her from attending. I feel like I heed one fatal blow to have the house of cards finally crumble for her. I know as of lately she is very sensitive to racism and the effects of the Holocaust (for good reasons beyond the scope of this task) and if I were to show her that the WT was clearly racist in its early years and supported Hitler in its yearbook, that should do it. Point being that it makes no difference they are not racist now, as defensive retort might be, point is that they NEVER had Jehovah's spirit WHEN they were putting those things in print, and since Jehovah never changes, yada, yada...

  It may backfire though and herein lays my hesitation, so I have to consider option B.

  B. We have not even gotten a knock on the door, a phone call or anything inviting us to the big event, which is highly unusual. My hope is that the sheep are heeding the direction of the Slave and limiting contact with inactives. If we go to the Memorial and the “friends” give her a cold shoulder, she may finally realize what this is all about. I know for a fact that she is completely out of synch re: current vitriol about shunning your own kids and not associating with spiritually weak and all the loving provisions of the kind. If she gets to experience it firsthand it may be way more effective than me showing her the faults.

  On the other hand they may just love bomb her and there will be no lesson learned.

  So, fella JWN-ers, what would you do?

  Feedback and suggestions appreciated.
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  OnTheWayOut

  So, fella JWN-ers, what would you do?

  I am OK with it and told her in no uncertain terms that will tag along...

  I would say to leave it alone and tag along.

  But your hope that they will give her the cold shoulders is slim. It is more likely that they will love bomb her, since she is faded and they have no absolute obligation to avoid her.

  And leaving it alone doesn't mean that you can't show her things about the JW's. It just means not to show it to her and say, "So you really shouldn't go to the memorial." Show her stuff, with no expectation from her.

  The memorial is one of the toughest. It's beat into a JW's head that they MUST MUST MUST observe (without participating) this event. It tells other JW's that the lost sheep still could come back- the reason I don't go. Just be there for her in whatever she decides. Even if she is love bombed, look for some comment to make about some particular point of the talk or some particular person shunning her at the memorial.

  Good luck.
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  nugget

  I would say to her that it may be awkward attending the memorial after such a long absence. If you receive an invite then go since the invite shows that they are at the very least thinking about you all. If you receive no invitation then plan something else on that evening perhaps.

  Whatever you choose to tell your wife approach it gently since the natural fallback is to defend the society and stop listening.
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  Bella15

  I obtained the following from another TOPIC ... where the Watchtower is already commenting on something that has not happened yet, show your wife how the WTC deceives people ...

  Get copy of the June 15 2012 study - WT commented on publishers pioneering this month. This magazine was written before March.
  
  Page 23 14 Reflect back on the joy that so
  many of God’s people had during the
  Memorial season this year. During
  March, a special provision allowed auxiliary
  pioneers to choose whether they
  would devote 30 or 50 hours to the field
  service. (Ps. 110:3) Millions shared in
  auxiliary pioneer service, and congregations
  seemed to radiate exceptional
  excitement and joy. Could you arrange
  your affairs so as to experience similar
  joy more often? At the end of each day,
  it gives a dedicated Christian great satisfaction
  to be able to say, “Jehovah, I
  did everything I could in your service.”
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  Conan The Barbarian

  I would go to the Memorial and deal with things "heads-up". The meeting is quick. It is an in and out affair, because there is probably a congregation either before yours, or after. Try to go to an early one in a neighboring congregation if you can. You may go unnoticed. The Elders are on orders to leave people alone who want to be left alone, but to just be nice to them. Expect Love Bombing from the women. If your wife hasn't done anything that may be judicial, she will probably be left alone.
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  DesirousOfChange

  The Special Talk on Sunday following the Memorial is more of a special effort to revitalize inactive ones. You'll find the talk outline on this board as someone has already posted it. Big guilt trip on getting back to God. The Memorial is less of that guilt hype.

  Doc
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  truth_b_known

  Do not do or say anything that shows you disaprove of her attending. Be supportive of your wife's decision. She needs to figure this out on her own.

  If I were in your shows and my wife asked me to go with her I would, but only for that reason. If Witnesses were to speak to me and ask me questions I would be brief, but honest. I would just say that I have no interest and I am simply supporting my wife.
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  Billy the Ex-Bethelite

  How does she feel about their stand opposing "higher education?" If she's receptive to looking at the secret info circulated among the BOE, she might find this interesting.

  http://www.jehovahs-witness.net/watchtower/bible/223283/1/BOE-March-6-2012

  Or perhaps she'd find it interesting to read and discuss what immoral uses for a musical instrument they have in mind.
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  slimboyfat

  I wouldn't rock the boat. Go to the memorial this year is she wants. Maybe next year she won't feel like it.
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  Yan Bibiyan

  Thank you all. I am leaning towards attending and biting my tongue.

  After all, it is a small price to pay in the name of the family unity. Bear in mind, Mrs. is a full blown candidate for a JC - Christmass decorations, materialistic views, pursuing graduate degree as we speak, the whole 9'. If they turn the tide on her, I hope she sees them for what they are...Or maybe I, as the UBM and head of the family, am her get out of jail free card. I can care less, as long as she has nothing to do with the bozos...

  Thanks again. I appreciate the different angles and almost unanimous advice.