My Story & Situation

by jbeau504 18 Replies latest jw friends

  • jbeau504
    jbeau504

    I just wanted to say first off thank you all for the warm welcome and kind words. Despite what i've been told by the WBTS, I have a hard time believing people in the 'world' are by default bad just because they're non-JWs. So thanks for the kindness.

    Anyway. I'm 22 years old and music has always been a good distraction for me seeing as how I haven't had the easiest life. Mmother divorced my non-JW father when I was an infant, and my alcoholic dad always seemed more like a distant boogie man than a father to me. I've always had an 'old mind', due to my experiences, and 'growing up fast' as the man in the house. Most of the people ive talked to or related to in my life have been older than me. With the exception of a few close friends, i've never been able to relate to any 'young' crowd. I've just always operated on a 'smarter' level than most people my age.

    -Please note: my parents aren't the most effective JWs, as there's immense hypocrisy and moral flaws in their mindset. They are truely tortured people. As much as I love them, they've made alot of mistakes which have left them regretful and somewhat bitter in their lives. I never want to be like them.-

    Before I studied the bible, I was an aspiring writer. I had established some connections to some local indie filmmakers, comic artists, etc. a bunch of different guys. Even some old highschool aquaintances (aquaintances, not friends). I'd written tv & movie scripts, short stories, poems and portions of potential novels. I had dreams, but then it all came to a halt. I also wrote songs, and wanted to start a band. There were 3 things in life I knew I never liked: politics, hate, and religious snobs. But I always had a profound "fear" of God. I had the energy and passion of a rebel youth but I guess you can say a laid back, more 'wise' nature of some old conservative monk lol. I was non-labeled, i was just me. I wanted a higher power to acknowledge. My parents never shunned me even though for years i kind of ignored the truth, atleast when I turned 14. As soon as i entered highschool I experimented, yet they never tried to shove anything down my throat.

    I always believed in the supernatural, in a multiverse concept, in multiple gods of all theologies co-existing. I did this because i didn't believe that anything was really impossible. Angels, aliens, vampires, cosmic entities, teleportation, etc, etc. It was all possible at once. Why should one opinion be right? what if we're all right? But yet the way we interpret these supernatural beings in scripture are wrong? it seemed logical to me, and became my safety net emotionally and mentally for years. Even so, since I figured I could be in any one of these 'realities' and worship any god I pleased, I chose Islam. Before long I became more into it as a devout Muslim, Sunni Muslim to be exact. Yet the ritualistic aspect of it proved too hard for me to keep up with. Then I went farther east after researching Hinduism to discover the Baha'i Faith. I found for the first time a sense of community and self: something that was always lacking in the JWs. I was always treated like the 'black sheep'. I was hard to pin down into a label, so I couldn't be apart of this clique or the other. Yes believe it or not JWs have a clannish mentality, specifically young ones.

    Then my aunt passed away. I became....desperate I guess. I became a hypocrite because I succumbed to what I never thought I would. I looked to the bible. The Baha'is did not believe in certain 'otherwordly' or supernatural answers, and I needed an answer of what would happen to my aunt. If I would see her again or not. She was like a second-mother to me (beyond my grandmother) and my answer came in a brother who was supportive of the family, an elder who is now my 'mentor'. It also came from a very pretty girl who came to my house for a small get together after my aunt's funeral. She was young like me but yet she was passionate about 'the truth'. She had her whole life ahead of her, she was smart and intelligent and funny and beautiful yet she dedicated herself to this life. So I asked myself, 'why'? I had to find out what this was all about as a man. So here I am. I feel good to be able to live a clean, moral life yet I feel doubts constantly. Add that to the fact that, on a less theological level, there's this stupid 'us and them' mentality in my congregation and i'm kinda at odds with what to do. Whew, this was long, lol sorry guys. But I just wanted to be honest with everyone here, and here from your experiences, and get your opinions. God bless!

  • Glander
    Glander

    Go back to the Kingdom Hall and play the game. Ofall the games you've dabbled in, it's as good as any.

    If you're determined to be in a 'game', that is.

  • flipper
    flipper

    JBEAU504- Welcome to the board ! I won't tell you what decision to make- however to be fair to yourself you really need to do research on line on the Internet to find out about the WT society from some other source other than the WT society. They are going to paint a rosy picture for you without divulging the negative " skeletons " or injustices they hide in their closet . So keep informing yourself and do research if you have doubts. If you're having doubts about the JW's listen to your instincts and intuition, it's telling you something is amiss. Take care, and welcome to " freedom of mind and expression " here on the board ! Peace out, Mr. Flipper

  • Billy the Ex-Bethelite
    Billy the Ex-Bethelite

    If there's anything to be learned from the first part of Genesis... don't believe smoothe-talking snakes tempting you with high-flying promises and low-hanging fruit. Research the organization thoroughly and ask them every question before you get involved any further.

  • jbeau504
    jbeau504

    Thanks for the answers.

    @Billy I don't know how to describe this. Maybe i'm a human worm, I don't know! But I mean it's like I have this fear. I don't want to upset God. It's not like I don't disagree with some doctrines. But it's like, I feel if I turn my back on them now, i'll have to deal with too much pressure and stress to come back or rage directed at me for 'doing the wrong thing' so to speak.

  • Miles3
    Miles3

    Hi jbeau, and welcome aboard!

    I can totally relate to the aging fast thing, since it happened to me too because familly problem required me to be an adult when I was only 12 or so. Actually, it's not the situation that requires it, it's sadly the parents failing to act as adult parents protecting their kids instead of half children relying on their own kid as if they were adults... but I only realised it far later. Even in the worst situation, responsible parents will make sure never to ask from their kid what our parents asked from us - I've seen single parents going through real hardships, yet their kids had a real chidhood and could develop like any kid should.

    I'm saying that because the after effect for me was a really hard time when I was around your age. Not having been able to experience childhood+adolescence hits you in the face round 20-25 years old. Even if you're sure you're more adult than people your age (like I was convinced), some preemptive counseling sessions can prevent the worst. I made the mistake to assume reading books and looking by myself was better than another human being's input, and I can tell you it's not enough - it has nothing to do with "knowing". I'm saying that because you seem to have also been looking really hard for something.

    As for the Witnesses, I encourage you to really do your own research, and question everyone, even on this board. That nice young sister sure was convincing, as I sure was to young sisters (and young brothers) when I was pionneering, also convinced of my objectives and the value of pursuing "spiritual" goals. Let me tell you, how I wish I had had internet at the time, and could have checked for myself what the Watchtower says in its publications, realise the misquotations and the blatant lies.

    Oh, and that "us vs them" mentality? That's 100% the sign of a high control destructive group. Don't trust me, read Steve Hassan's books, or have a look at other cults - the Family International, the Mormons, Scientology, etc...

    I wish you well on your journey. Who knows, maybe you could even help that nice and zealous girl to realise how tricked she's been by the Watchtower, and not waste her life like she seem set upon to do.

  • still thinking
    still thinking

    jbeau504...thanks for sharing your story. It was very interesting.

    You seem like a very honest person, and the thing I liked about your writing was that you seem honest to yourself. Be kind to yourself and don't worry about getting things wrong or joining the wrong religions. Just keep on the path you are on, asking questions and never stop asking. Eventually the answers will lead you to where you need to be.

    I highly recommend using the search bar on this site to find background info on the JW religion. Things like UN involvement. Malawai, pedophiles, Russell and Rutherford etc...forwarned is forarmed. And knowlegde will set you free.

    Welcome again...glad you took the time to introduce yourself.

  • Billy the Ex-Bethelite
    Billy the Ex-Bethelite

    But I mean it's like I have this fear. I don't want to upset God. It's not like I don't disagree with some doctrines. But it's like, I feel if I turn my back on them now, i'll have to deal with too much pressure and stress to come back or rage directed at me for 'doing the wrong thing'

    Realize that WT corporation has around 140 years of mind-control experience. And that is built on top of centuries of religious history of Christendom, Judaism, Zoroastrianism, philosophy, etc. Our fear of our mortality and desire for conclusive answers to all the big questions in life can easily become the very thing that others, such as WT, will use to control and manipulate us. Instead of providing logical and satisfying answers religious leaders will use the carrot and stick approach to control you... as a sheep led to slaughter. That's why you need to keep your brain turned 'on' and reserve the right to ask every and any question.

    The God of WT is all about fear, pressure, rage, threats... from a "loving" God. Of course that's going to screw us up. Your desire to find, know, and please God, shouldn't cause you to fear. It should inspire you to become a better person, a thinking and questioning person. God would not need to turn control over to a bunch of guys in Brooklyn that want you to peddle their message of "salvation thru WT." If God really felt the need to have an "earthly organization", he could do far better than WT.

  • jwfacts
    jwfacts

    Welcome, and thank you for your story.

    I find it hard to believe that someone with imagination and a knowledge of mulitple religious tenets could bear to go to the kingdom hall. It has been my expectation that now people are aware of different religions, that they would realise ones religion is a product of ones birth, not of truth. Yet, with such knowledge you have gone back into one of the most bigoted and narrowminded of all religions.

    With your talents I do hope this is just a passing phase, otherwise you will end up wasting the gifts that you have.

  • ziddina
    ziddina

    Welcome to the board!!

    Zid - the board's She-Devil... And NOT as in "character in a game"...

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